


What Could Have Been

by Dsp01



Category: Turn - Fandom
Genre: Anna Strong - Freeform, Annlett, Edmund Hewlett - Freeform, True Love, out of wedlock, star crossed lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:03:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 53,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8251793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dsp01/pseuds/Dsp01
Summary: A new life for Anna Strong in York City. Someone from her past comes back. Will the truth set them free?





	1. Orion

She hadn't expected to see him ever again much less in her tavern. Of all the new businesses that were abound in York City, seeing him walk through the door of her tavern after all these years took her by complete surprise. Had he seen her she wondered to herself? She self consciously smoothed down her hair and looked towards the mirror over the bar. 

He looked around uncomfortable as he cautiously walked through the few stragglers of the mid day meal crowd of people looking to find a table to sit down. She had seen that look of disdain before on his face but that had been in another tavern in another town what seemed like a hundred years ago instead of five. She moved effortlessly to the kitchen area unseen by him as she turned to watch him through the window of the swinging kitchen door. 

She noted that he had not seemed to have aged in the five years since she last saw him. She thought he actually looked much younger all these years later. She decided it was because he no longer wore the powdered wig, instead allowing his hair to grow out. He was wearing it in the style that was very popular now with the gentlemen of the era, his own hair tied back in a ribbon at the neck. His natural dark hair looked so much better against his fair skin and didn't wash him out like the white wig had she thought. In her opinion, he seemed more handsome than she remembered. She could feel her heart racing as she watched him. Memories of their last night together flooding her mind as she watched him sitting alone taking in the tavern. A serving girl came up and spoke with him, breaking her thoughts. He nodded politely to her and they conversed for a brief moment. The woman smiled and slid away to get his order. He looked around and then took his overcoat off and removed his hat placing it on the seat beside him as he faced the bar. A few minutes later the server approached him with a tray and a teapot with a cup and saucer. Placing it before him as he thanked her like the gentleman that he was, he smiled at her with his warm brown eyes. Anna felt her heart surge as he looked up at the door where she peeped from through the glass.

She observed him for a few more minutes until someone walked up from behind startling her "what are you watching?" he whispered causing her to jump bumping the door very hard. The commotion behind the door caused the man she was watching to look up and at once she grabbed Robert and jerked them both out of view. Robert started to protest but she clamped her hand on his mouth saying "shhhh be quiet. I don't want him to see us!" Robert kept quiet leaning forward to see who she was talking about. "Why did you do that?" he whispered sharply and then seeing the look in her eyes and recognizing the man only by her description, he realized and his eyes widening he mouthed "oh". Anna looked frantic as she spoke "I never thought I would see him again. I was not prepared when he walked in our door just a few moments ago." Robert nodded his understanding to her but just as he was about to speak to her, a familiar voice from the tavern caught their attention. "Hello" and that caused Anna to jump in front of the window looking at Robert with fear in her eyes "Where did he come from? He was asleep when I left this morning! When did he get here?" she said. Robert bit his lip and nervously answered "Caleb brought him over a few minutes ago and I ran into them out back. Caleb had to leave before your shift was over and I told him I could take him and keep him occupied until you finished up the book work for the day. I am sorry I Sent him out there to go find his book behind the counter. I promised him I would read to him if he was a good lad. I thought he would get the book and come straight back but it appears his table is right in front of the counter and there he is." 

Anna started to walk out to grab him but before she could the young boy spoke to the man again "what is your name?" The man took a sip of his tea and seemed amused at the dark haired boy with almond shaped eyes. "My name is Edmund." The little boy studied him thoroughly looking him up and down. Then with a smile and just like his Uncle Ben had showed him, he put his hand out like a gentleman to shake the man's hand. Surprised by this, the older man hand took the smaller hand in his and the little boy grasped it firmly while he shook it and announced "Nice to meet you Edmund, my name is Orion". 

Delighted by the little boy and his forwardness, Edmund found himself smiling for the first time since he had gotten off the ship just a few hours before. "Delighted to meet you Master Orion. Tell me young man, where did you get such a strong name?" Anna could not move in fear and as she watched from the door, her friend took action. Robert stepped out from behind the door quickly and said "There you are, you little imp!" Nodding his head toward the man he knew only by reputation. "I'm sorry sir if the boy is disturbing you" taking the boy's hand and placing himself between them. Edmund looked up from his seat and shaking his head "oh no not at all. He was introducing himself to me." he said putting the tea cup down and standing up, winking at the boy, he held his hand out to Robert "I am Edmund Hewlett. I have a room down the street and while they were getting it ready, I stepped out to get some fresh air." Smiling tightly Robert shook his hand looking down at the boy who was now between them as they both smiled at him. Edmund continued "After walking a few blocks, I found myself here, and thought I'd finally spend the rest of my wait over a cup of tea. Where I am staying, your place was highly recommended for the food and said it is a nice place to get a good cup of tea or coffee." Looking down at the boy, he tousled his hair stating "I did not expect such good company. Your son is a delight and a true gentleman." Robert did not correct him. The little boy laughed at Edmund's mistake and said "that's funny" and Robert noting Edmund's confusion at the boy's words, was about to change the subject when as if on cue, a woman walked in with another little boy about the same age as the boy between them who instantly forgot about what he found funny. Seeing his friend, the boy jumped up and down between them and darted out proclaiming loudly "hey Pauly what are you doing here?" Running across the room to join his friend, before leaving both men to stand there awkwardly. As the two boys ecstatically started jumping and talking at the same time, the other boy's mother sat them both down and a server took her order as the two boys talked animatedly.

Robert clearing his throat said "well Mr. Hewlett other than our reputation, what brings you here, to the states I mean? " Edmund turned from watching the two boys chattering together and giggling "oh, I lived here during the war in a small town called Setauket" and turning to Robert he said "how old is your son?" Robert did not tell him any differently "He has just turned four." and then Edmund with a lost look smiled, "he reminds me of someone but I can't for the life of me think why or who. I hardly know anyone with children anymore." and then shaking his head slightly he sighed saying "I am sorry sir. It seems coming back to the states has stirred up odd feelings of familiarity that I was not expecting". Turning abruptly to his new acquaintance he said "it was nice meeting you Mr." Robert spoke up "Townsend, Call me Robert". Nodding his head, he said "please call me Edmund" and smiling politely he opened his wallet to pay, prompting Robert to hold up his hand in protest "it's on us today Mr. Hewlett, I mean Edmund" pointing to the boy across the room "to his new friend". 

Edmund smiled again his eyes crinkling with a softness in his face and said "the pleasure was all mine. Your son is a very fine young man. He is a testament of you and your wife." Robert again just smiled and again did not correct him.

Edmund picked up his coat and placing the hat on his head saying "thank you" shook Robert's hand and turned to walk out. As he approached the door, the little boy noticed his new friend leaving and walking away from his friend briefly, suddenly ran up to him grabbing his hand and saying to the surprised man's delight "nice to meet you Edmund!" He looked up smiling a crinkly eyed familar soft smile causing Edmund to laugh as he tousled his dark brown curls "Master Orion, the pleasure was all mine. I bid you good day Sir" he bowed slightly and turned and walked out into the cold autumn day. The boy smiled and ran back across the room to his friend and excitedly started talking again. 

Robert let out a sigh of relief and turned towards the door from the kitchen. Noticing she was no longer standing there, he walked over and carefully looked in as he opened the door. Walking back to the small room off the kitchen area where he found her sitting, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed into her handkerchief so no one would hear her, Robert stood there feeling helpless as he watched his partner's world collapse. He reached down squeezing her shaking shoulder to comfort her the best way he could. All of her fears had met her reality. Edmund Hewlett was back and had just met his son.


	2. Facing Reality

Robert had left allowing Anna time to get herself together. She wiped her tears and blew her nose and looked into the small mirror in the room. Her eyes red from crying, her hair falling loosely out of her bun, she decided to splash her face and repin her hair to make herself presentable before seeing her precious boy. She knew Robert, always the gentleman would give her time by occupying Orion just as he had promised him, by reading his book. Orion loved for his Uncle Robert to read to him. As a matter of fact, he loved it when any man paid attention to him and attention he got from his uncles. Uncle Caleb showed him the importance of fishing and hunting, his uncle Benjamin showed him how to carry himself like a gentleman and regaled him with stories of General Washington and fighting for freedom and uncle Robert was the teacher of the three teaching young Orion about science and nature and beginning to learn how to play his favorite, chess. Anna knew that her boy was loved and adored by good men but the guilt she carried inside of her because Orion did not know his real father was unbearable. She sniffed loudly and felt the tears welling up again when she heard her son's voice coming down the hallway gabbing away with Robert as he told him of a large elk he and his Uncle Caleb had seen as they were walking over this morning. 

She heard Robert laugh as the young boy gestured with his hands and jumping high to explain how tall it was. Anna wiped her eyes once more, pinched her cheeks for color and put on a smile stepping out to greet them. "Well, is this not a pleasant surprise!" she said and the little boy with the almond shaped eyes and raven black curls came bounding down the hall jumping into his mother's arms "Hi ya Mummy" he greeted her with a big hug and wet sloppy kisses. "Guess what Uncle Caleb and I saw this morning? An elk! It was bigger than Uncle Robert is tall!" he said enthusiastically as he wiggled down to try to show her how tall it was by again jumping as high as he could. Anna laughed at her little boy so full of excitement and full of amazement at seeing the elk. "Uncle Caleb said it wuz damn shame he dint have his musket". Anna shocked by Orion's statement stopped and looked down at her son saying sharply "Young man, what have I told you about using those words?" The little boy looked down at his feet shuffling them back and forth and pouting a bit as he repeated "not to use those words just because Uncle Caleb says them. I should know better and so should Uncle Caleb." Anna smiled at Robert trying not to laugh and bending down, to look him in the eyes, she placed a kiss on his small hands and said "uncle Caleb knows better and I guess I need to have the talk with him again." she said firmly. Orion looked up "Nooooo not the TALK-I'll be careful. Uncle Caleb can't help it mummy". Anna laughed at the maturity level her four year old had compared to her lifelong friend of thirty years. She hugged him tightly smiling up at Robert. "Now tell me about that elk. Do you think uncle Caleb could shoot it if he had a chance?" Orion's face lit up "yea mummy uncle Caleb can hunt anything! He said we could go in the spring to see where the calfs are. He said the males were rutting about a month ago and soon baby elk will be born. Can we go mum, can we?" Anna laughed, just like his father, she saw that Orion was inquisitive and seemed of higher intelligence compared to the other children his age. Not only was there a strong physical appearance of her son to his father but his disposition and hunger to learn new things were also like his father. In the time that she had known Edmund personally, she had realized that he was unlike any other man she had known. He was well educated in the sciences and literature, but he had a fondness of nature and loved animals. Orion was very much his father's son. His eyes were begging and she knew when the time came she would give in but instead she answered not wanting to let Caleb off the hook "We will see. Uncle Caleb needs to learn to watch his mouth and not be such a bad influence on such a young impressionable boy." Orion's brow furrowed slightly and Robert patted his back supportively "hey you, let us go find your book and see where we left off last time shall we?" Just like that, the little boy's attention turned to his original task and he forgot about the elk and the calfs and was the happy go lucky running ahead of Robert into the tavern. Robert laughed and before going after him he stopped looking over his shoulder and said "are you going to be okay?" Anna took in a deep breath and putting on her bravest smile said "I am working on it." He smiled and walking through the door she heard him say "you know where I will be." and left to entertain a four year old for the next hour while Anna worked on the ledgers from the day's sales. 

Robert and Orion went to the front of the tavern. It was mid afternoon now and the crowd had gone so they took a seat by the fireplace to stay warm. Orion loved hearing stories and loved when his uncles spent time with him. Robert, although a confirmed bachelor, really looked forward in these small moments with this young boy. Like his other uncles, Robert had grown very protective of the boy and carried a sense of loyalty to his mother because of the circumstances she had been dealt five years ago after meeting with the Major as a favor to Ben. Anna had never discussed the details and Robert did not feel it was his place to ask but it was apparent especially now what had happened between them, the little boy was a good mix of his parents looks and wits. That was between Anna and Major Hewlett and Robert never pushed for any details. He did not need them. Anna and Orion were like family so that was enough to satisfy any curiosity he might have had about the Major. 

Of course, meeting him for the first time today and seeing him in a different light, he was not sure what exactly he felt. Robert met what his father would call a true gentleman and from what he knew of his character, Edmund Hewlett was more than a Redcoat to Anna, an enemy to Benjamin and Caleb. All three of them had seen a different side to him in their dealings with him and that left him more opened minded in his opinion of him. He had learned a long time ago that Abraham Woodhull could not be unbiased in his opinion of the Major. Robert now understood why Abraham felt threatened by Edmund. He really was not as dull as he had been described by Abe. Robert knew the history between them and had heard the story of how Anna had tried to save Edmund's life from Abe. What Anna and Abe did not realize is he had already figured out a long time ago that Anna had fallen in love with Edmund. While Abraham could not imagine Anna sacrificing herself for any thing other than to save what she believed a decent man, Robert knew from working beside her all these years and seeing the looks she gave her son, that this beautiful child was a product of love and nothing less. Robert had always thought Abe selfish in his treatment of Anna in the past while being married to a good woman like Mary. He understood that Abe's opinion of Edmund was nothing less than jealousy of something he had, Anna'a love and respect. It also did not hurt Robert's impression that the Major had been so gracious and kind towards the lad. He saw a genuinely kind man in the small interaction between Edmund and Orion. Now he could not get it off his mind of the what ifs. What if there was some divine intervention in bringing Orion's father back into his mother's life and into his life? How else in a growing city as big as York City since the war, that this man would walk back into the exact tavern Anna was co-owner? The name of the tavern was Townsends Tavern so it is not like if he suspected at all that Anna was in the vicinity that this tavern would hold her secret. What if Edmund knew the truth? Would he act to take the boy away out of anger or spite? Men had been know to do much worse, with less information. These questions played over and over in his head as he read out loud and spent time with Orion. The clock chimed three times as Robert's deep thoughts were interrupted. Looking up from the book, he saw the little boy curled up on the bench by the fireplace where they sat, fast asleep. Robert laughed as it seemed apparent his reading the story had lulled him to sleep. Smiling down, Robert took his coat off and laid it across the sleeping boy. Orion nuzzled down with a sweet smile as he fell into a deeper sleep. He watched him for a moment as he swept his raven curls off his forehead. Suddenly Robert felt an overwhelming desire to keep him protected. He knew his allegiance along with Caleb and Benjamin would always be to Anna and Orion. They would do whatever necessary to keep her secret if that is what she desired. Robert did not know what the future held but he felt that if Edmund Hewlett discovered the truth about this precious boy, all of their lives would be impacted. He was not sure he wanted to know how much.


	3. Dreams of Reality

Edmund sat up on side of the bed. He had had another dream. Shaken he wiped the sleep from his eyes sitting there in the cold of the night, the fire long gone. His head was hurting from the alcohol and he tried to shake that feeling of cold that the dreams always brought him. He needed to start another fire, he needed to feel warm. He was about to stand to start a fire when he felt her warm hand slide up his back sending the best of chills up his spine and softly he heard "Are you okay?" He closed his eyes at her touch as the warmth spread throughout his body. He whispered "Yes, sorry did I wake you?" Turning slightly to look at her lying there, long dark hair tousled and surrounding her, sleepy eyed and naked in bed. God she was even more beautiful lying there like this he thought. "Come back to me" she said reaching up "it has grown cold. I need you to get me warm." He smiled to himself forgetting the fire that needed building and with the most beautiful feeling of want he had ever known, he turned to her getting back into the bed taking her in his arms as she kissed his chest and neck and then his mouth saying over and over "I have missed you so." Edmund closed his eyes squeezing her gently with his arms "and I you." His mouth caught hers and softly he kissed her at first until the passion they felt between them began to grow. She sighed lying in his arms smiling up at him. Aroused, she lifted herself up straddling him, looking down smiling softly, her hair falling loosely and exotically. Edmund thought his heart would burst with feelings as she positioned herself on top of him. He closed his eyes, as she began moving, as he reached up pushing the long hair away from her face as he looked into her big brown eyes, they connected and smiling at her he relaxed allowing all the feelings that he had denied himself to take over. They rocked together their bodies in sync and he watched her face as the passion grew inside of her. She was so uninhibited and Edmund could feel himself about to lose control as he grasped her hips bearing her down harder on him. She began to moan softly and he allowed a moan to escape his lips also as she continued to ride him. Just as they were about to meet in their throws of passion, he looked up and she smiled down at him. She was so beautiful, so pure with love and just as they were at the point of orgasm, he woke up. 

Covered in perspiration, his chest moving up and down breathing heavy, he opened his eyes quickly as he laid there a moment as confusion began overtaking him before he remembered exactly where he was. He was alone. The room was cold and she wasn't in the bed waiting for him. He was alone. She wasn't there. It was just another dream. It was another damn dream of her! It had been a while since he had had a dream about her. "Why now" he whispered to himself. Emotions began to overcome him as he fought the feelings inside, his heart aching. His shirt was sticking to his body and although the room was cold, he felt hot and sticky from sweat. Frustrated, he sat up pulling the shirt over his head and tossing it aside. He laid there naked in his bed alone with his memories of Anna from his dream still lingering. He tried to shake the memory of her yet again. He had tried for almost five years now and yet he still could not. "What is wrong with me? He said out loud. Angrily he stood up walking to the window he looked out at the street below. There was movement on street even at this hour of the night. He stared out lost in his thoughts. Where was she? Had she survived the war? Was she living somewhere with her husband after his release? Was she back in Setauket? Why was his mind so consumed with thoughts of her? 

He thought he had gotten to the point where he was not thinking of her all the time. His life so different now back in Scotland. His business growing as he worked on rebuilding the estate. He had even managed to start seeing a woman. He was trying to get Anna Strong out of his system and had summoned up the courage to actually court a woman he had been introduced to through acquaintances. She was widowed, very religious and a part of the church he attended with his mother. His mother approved and encouraged it but Edmund could only think of her as a confident when he just needed the opposite sex opinion. They were just friends and he understood that she was still in love with her deceased husband. Edmund did not judge or push for anything more. He understood. However in his time spent with Alice Bass, his mind did sometimes not think of Anna and their time together. 

Tonight was different as memories of those two days and nights with her began creeping back. He recalled that after seeing her in the tavern that night he had honestly tried to quit her. He walked away sober determined to be the better man, not be the man that Anna was used to. He tried in vain to not turn around and run to her. He managed about six hours to do that, but hitting the bottom of a bottle of the rum made him rethink being the better man. He knew where she was staying because he had to approve every thing about her entrance in the city. By the bottom of that bottle he was standing outside her door. He remembers leaning against it getting ready to knock. He slumped forward bumping the door as he lost his courage to tell her off. He just wanted to release his anger at her. As he gathered up his strength to once and for all to turn and leave, the door opened somewhat and trying to not lose his balance, he put both hands up in the doorway to brace himself. She gasped when she realized who was at her door. Edmund steadied himself realizing at that moment, he could not walk away from her now. Anna stepped back smelling the alcohol "Edmund, what are you doing here?" Confused she looked around in the hallway and said "you shouldn't be here." Edmund could still remember how she looked when she opened that door. 

Rattled by the memories approaching his mind he splashed water on his face at a nearby bowl of water. He hoped to make the pain leave as the cool water hit his face. He looked into the mirror in front of him. Was being back in America triggering these memories? He thought he was over her, over it? What had brought the dream on? He must be overly tired he thought to himself, from the voyage and then waiting for the room to be prepared. Although irritating, he did get some fresh air and had met Mr. Townsend and his delightful son. 

Edmund sighed as he moved away from the stand, moving to the small window again looking out the window onto the dark street. "You just need to rest" he told himself. "You have a very busy day ahead so you need to sleep. Afterwards you can maybe go back to Mr. Townsend's tavern and try the food." Yes, he thought to himself. He would maybe do that in the evening and maybe encounter little Orion again. What a delight he was. Edmund smiled thinking about the boy with the curly dark hair. Yes, that is what he would do after his business is done today. He turned and laid back in his bed and in a few moments he fell asleep with thoughts of a delightful little boy on his mind.

That same night in a house not far away, Anna found herself wide awake with very similar thoughts of Edmund. She had tried to sleep after finally getting Orion down for the night. He had wanted her to finish the book as he fought the approaching sleep. They laid on his small bed snuggled under the quilt. She laid there a long time after her boy fell asleep just watching him sleep and looking at his father's strong features. She loved that little face more than she had ever loved before. To Anna, Orion was perfection. She didn't know if it was because of she knew he was made from a deep love or if it was because he was her beloved Edmund's son. She longed for Edmund even after all this time. She had fallen in love with him long before she realized it. It was not until that night in the tavern when he walked away that she allowed herself to accept it. It had taken everything she had in her to keep quiet when he asked her "Did you ever love me?" She had fought the urge not to run after him, to stop him, to proclaim her love for him. She knew though she couldn't admit it. She knew it could mean his death or hers. 

Turning over in her bed, she punched the pillow attempting to get comfortable so that she could get to sleep. She thought of that night after the tavern conversation. She was not expecting a knock on her door so late that night. She had just taken a warm bath to soothe her tired muscles from the long emotional day and travel. She thought of the look on his face when she opened the door that night all those years ago as he stood there looking at her as he steadied himself she could smell the alcohol. "Madam you wound me." Then as a rush of emotions seemingly hit him, he had lifted his chin defiantly sayinh in a angry whisper "You should be proud of yourself. You played me like a fine tuned instrument. I am sure you and your lover have had a good laugh at my expense!" Staggering a bit he stumbled and instinctively she reached out to him, catching him as he fell into her arms clumsily. Anna had looked around again noticing that no one was walking by as she pulled him into the room shoving the door with her foot to give them privacy. The last thing she wanted was for Edmund to embarrass himself by a drunken scene. She owed him that much. 

She thought back to how he had stood up straightening his coat trying to steady himself. She could still feel the way he stared at her. She could sense all the anger he was feeling. Anna just wanted their hurt to go away. He took a deep breath as he looked at her standing in front of him. She became self conscious that she was wearing nothing more than a thin cotton gown. Her hair still damp and loosely hanging around her face as she looked for the right words to say to him. He had closed his eyes, he shook his head slightly as he tried to not show his feelings of pain to her. 

Anna spoke "It is as I explained to you. I thought I could save you. I never intended to hurt you Edmund." His eyes flew open at the mention of his name as he spat the words out "Do not call me that!" and he rushed up to her with tears in his eyes "Don't ever call me by my name again! That name is reserved for people I consider friend. We are not friends and apparently never were. You proved that to me!" He said angering "Don't call me Edmund ever again." He stumbled more and fearing he would fall she caught him full on as his body fell against her. She remembered how she tried to stop and how he tried to brace himself but the alcohol seemed to have really gotten the best of him. She steadied him as she summoned up the courage to speak "Alright" she said softly "I will not call you that. Calm down, let's get you sitting down and then we will talk". 

Back at Edmond's room, he woke again. Another dream of her. "Why am I doing this?" he whispered out loud. Frustrated he rolled onto his back looking up at the ceiling in the darkness. He tried to sleep but floods of memories came rushing through his mind back to that night. That first night with Anna. He could vaguely remembering standing inside her room. It was as if he was there again, his brain still foggy. He remembered his mind swimming because of her nearness and it woke up every sense he had. He remembered trying to collect himself honorably but he felt her body leaning against his as his hands sought her out to brace himself. He remembered she tried to walk him to a nearby chair to sit, as she turned him to walk him, he remembers her breast brushing up against his chest when she steadied. He felt the room getting warmer and he suspected it was because of her nearness that night. The room began to spin slowly and he tried to put on foot in front of the other to walk without her assistance. He could feel her damp hair from an earlier bath against his face and the scent. He still remembers how she smelled at that moment. The fresh soap scent waifed through his nose. He could not for the life of him remember how he found himself at Anna's door or why he was so angry, he just remembers being there and it felt right. It all felt right, her arm around him, her body leaning against his and God she smelled so good, he still remembered how she smelled. 

She had sat him down turning to step away but he recalled reaching up grabbing her surprising them both at his instinct to pull her towards him. She lost her footing and fell lightly on his lap her gown drawing up baring her legs. Edmund's eyes searched hers as he moved his hand on the outside of her upper thigh. He remembered as she tried in vain to pull the cotton gown down but she did not move his hand. He could still see her looking deep in his eyes as they connected as if she saw what he was feeling inside. She closed her eyes putting her forehead against his whispering "I am sorry I hurt you. I am so very sorry." Closing his eyes her scent filling his nostrils, feeling her closeness, he tossed away all the fears, the embarrassment, the hurt, looking deep into her eyes he saw the true look of sincerity in hers as she pled for his forgiveness. 

Edmund tossed to his other side in his bed still thinking of her, pulling the covers up as he thought of that rush of emotions that came over them both. He thought about how he had grabbed her hard pressing his open mouth on hers. Sighing as he laid there, he could not get his mind off of how her body felt against him as he pulled her firmly against him. He remembered how there was no awkwardness from him and how natural she felt to him as she allowed his hands to move over her body underneath the thin material. He could recall how she gasped at his boldness as he kissed her more passionately than he had ever kissed anyone. He was teasing her with his tongue, moving his hands up to her breast feeling the soft peaks rising through the cloth. Breathing heavy as he thought of Anna's reaction, he thought of her letting out a soft moan as he kissed her neck and how it was driving him wild moving down to her chest. Edmund did not know why but he suddenly collected himself pulling away long enough to make sure he understood and that she wanted this too. No matter what he wanted, no matter how intoxicated, he was still a gentleman and he remembers waiting breathlessly for her approval. The image of her standing there looking back at him burned in his mind. She was looking at him with tear filled eyes as he stopped moving his hands under her gown. She gently pushed him away. Edmund remembered feeling confused by this but was starting to sober up and knew that if this is what she wanted, he would stop. She took a moment to catch her breath and then stepped back from him staring at him with want and desire as she dropped her now unbuttoned gown letting it fall to the floor. Taking in another deep breath, his mind hungrily thinking of her luscious breast as they peaked by what he had just done to her. His eyes had moved over her body drinking in every beautiful detail.

Anna had reached out to him and he remembered her pulling him to his feet as she slowly started unbuttoning his coat, then more quickly unbuttoning his shirt removing it quickly as she bent forward slightly running her tongue over his nipples. God he still remembered the shiver running through his whole body at her erotic licks and how her touch hardened his member in his breeches. He recalled watching her taking his shirt off and began unbuttoning his pants just as quickly as he groaned at her actions. She removed the wig, running her fingers through his short hair and he could almost feel her touch like she was there and how it was driving him mad with lust. The passion overtook him as he impulsively grabbed her breast with both hands pulling her to him, his mouth meeting her soft pink nipples as he suckled them both back and forth giving the same attention to each as she grabbed his head and thrust towards him arching her back. He could still hear how she had softly moaned as he pulled her to him licking and playing with her breast all while she rubbed his shaft until it was throbbing and hard in her hand. She had stopped him, breathless, smiling at him walking him slowly back towards the bed landing them both on the bed with a soft thump. His head spinning with sexual desire by this time. Edmund remembered feeling like he was going to erupt with the passion she was bringing out in him. He kept thinking how his mouth felt kissing her skin and how his hands moving over her curves. By this time Anna had looked at him lustfully as she spread her legs and straddled him pushing him back against the pillows. He still thought it seemed like a dream as she settled down on his member and she began to ride him. Instinct took over and his hands found her hips pushing her all the way down on his shaft as he opened his eyes to get his bearings that night, the alcohol still affecting his senses. He doesn't know why but he had turned his head slightly looking up as the room was still spinning and remembers seeing the reflection of their naked bodies in the standing mirror across the room. Edmund smiled as he thought of seeing her pert derrière moving back and forth as she rode him gently at first, with her breast in front of him to lick and suckle. With each lick, she began grinding faster and faster. It was so dreamlike that he remembers he could not stop watching her backside as she rode him nor could he stop looking up at her face as the most unusual expression came over her face. He remembered how she began to breath heavy and moan. Edmund recalled being more sober by then and determined to push as deep inside her as he could. He recalls that feeling of her hot moist silky area and how he wanted to be totally submerged inside of it. He rocked her hips more making her derrière go up and down grinding harder and harder as she moaned with closed eyes and an expression he had never seen on a woman as she finished her climax slowing her hips but still grinding. Then Edmund felt a sudden rush through his body and remembers looking up into her eyes half closed with ecstasy as she bit her lip and began to thrust as hard as she could causing him to erupt and frantically hold on to her body tightly allowing the feeling to take over his body, trembling and groaning as she began to climax again moving with delight as all the stress of the past weeks left their bodies. She had ridden him slower and slower and then at the slowest, his shaft finally went limp inside her. He still remembered how she laid there across him, her hair surrounding them, perspiring, both breathing heavy their hearts beating against each other. Turning to his back, he kept thinking of that peaceful moment between them until finally sleep overcame him and he saw her again but this time they were happy and together in his dreams.

Anna woke up with a start, alone in her bed. She was wet with perspiration and had been dreaming of him again. She hadn't dreamed of Edmund in a while. She felt flushed and warm as she recalled that first night of passion between them. Shuddering, she let out a deep breath as she kept thinking about how after they made love, the room became deafening quiet with only the sound of their breathing in the air. Anna remembered the fire had died down, the cool air on her skin. She remembered how she did not want this feeling to end and she dared not move lying on top of Edmund. 

Anna closed her eyes lying there alone in her bed as she recalled the feel of his hand going up and down her back in the quietness of the room. She could sense he was at a loss for words. She thought of how she looked at him with tear filled eyes saying "Edmund, I'm sorry" and finally he spoke "Shhh, please Anna don't." He said pulling her tightly in a hug, "I don't know what to say to you. I just wanted....I don't know how this esca...This is not what I had planned." he whispered softly to her, stroking her hair gently as he spoke. Anna thought of how secure laying there in his arms she felt even with their awkwardness. She had laid her head on his shoulder as he pulled the covers over both of them to keep them warm. She snuggled against him saying softly "Neither did I." She thought of how Edmund cleared his throat as he positioned himself more secure underneath her body. Anna looked at him confused saying "What now?" As he looked deep into her eyes, filled with love and lust, she sensed his worry. He had just smiled at her tenderly saying "I honestly do not know." and she recalled how they both stopped short of committing to anything further to each other. 

Anna was jolted from her thoughts of that night by the voice of her son coming from the other room "Mummy, Mummy" he yelled frantically. Jumping up, she bolted out of her room to the next room where her son laid asleep. Orion was thrashing around but still asleep and she bent down to soothe him "Shhhh, Sweet boy, shhh, it is alright, I am here." Eyes still closed, he reached up grabbing her tightly "Is he gone?" He said whimpering in his sleep. She put her arms around him softly questioning him "Is who gone my love?" Orion calmed down hearing his mother's voice and turned toward her clinging to her tightly burying his head in her chest never answering her. She smiled and was about to ask him again when she realized he had gone back to sleep that quickly. With a gentle laugh, she hugged him tighter and sliding down into his cot, she laid there holding him. She decided they would both sleep better together and she snuggled down underneath the quilt until her mind quit racing with thoughts of Edmund. Relaxing with her boy in her arms, fell asleep lying beside their son for the rest of the night.


	4. The Calm Before the Storm

The crisp October morning air lifted Edmund's spirits. Although he had again woken up with Anna on his mind, he had still managed to get some rest. It had been a long night of tossing and turning for him but he felt rejuvenated from the autumn air. He knew that autumn did not stay around long in the north so took the opportunity to observe the changing leaves on the trees and smell the fires burning to keep people warm in the city. New York City was growing and was set to be the new capital so there was a lot of hustle and bustle of a growing city. During the war the city had been under British occupation but had been the last port until the last evacuation two years before. 

Edmund had returned for several reasons. Because of his injury to his foot albeit at his own hands, the British government looked at this as a brave escape from what was thought were Rebel soldiers holding him captive. Little did they know that Captain Simcoe had set him up. To save face, of course Simcoe would never divulge the truth of his part in Edmund's capture and time spent as a prisoner. No thanks to that act, Edmund was awarded a pension for his 15 years of service because of his disability. It was a bi-annual stipend of a small portion of his salary as a British officer, it did help him. 

While he was not rich, he had managed to invest his money wisely and still make sure his mother was taken care of properly in England. With some connections in the states, he was hoping to invest some in land for development in the colonies and parts of Canada where many fellow British soldiers from his regiment were moving to start a new life. Edmund had a head for business and was able to recognize a good opportunity when he saw one. He had planned a six month journey so that he could visit the different locales being offered. He not only planned on New York but traveling in a month or two to Quebec, Montreal and as far out as New Brunswick and Nova Scotia where many had been offered land. He would then head back to England to his mother and his life in Scotland. It was family land he had inherited from his father's death. His father lost a lot during the America trade boycott, mostly he had lost his pride. He had lost most of his mother's fortune but had managed to keep his estate for his only son safe. Now with his father dead, his mother elderly and needing attending, Edmund felt the pressure to invest wisely for their future. 

As he walked down the street he realized that although he had been up awhile and he had not eaten yet. A strong cup of coffee would be perfect now and he stopped to collect himself trying to decide where he could find it. He realized he was very close to the Townsend Tavern where he was sure he could get coffee and maybe a bowl of cornmeal mush with molasses. He figured he would not eat again until late afternoon because of his errands and meetings, ans being told at the inn he stayed that Townsend's had the best food for the money it did not take a lot to convince him where to go. He especially remembeed the delightful little boy who caught his attention yesterday and smiled as he entertained the idea of possibly seeing him again

The tavern was two blocks north. He pulled out his time piece to note the time, almost nine o'clock. He headed north, singing softly to himself suddenly in a lighter mood as he arrived at the tavern a few minutes later. An overwhelming feeling of welcome filled his senses as he encountered the warmth of the fireplace and the smell of freshly baked bread and the inviting scent scent of fresh strong coffee as he walked in. A sense of comfort came over him as he moved to a table by the window. He decided he could watch the passersby as he enjoyed his meal. It was a habit he had gotten into as a child, watching people. Being a bit of a loner, and extremely awkward growing up, he had gotten quite good at observing people unnoticed from afar. A serving girl came up and he ordered his food. She brought the coffee immediately back and he settled in sipping on that as he watched the hustle and bustled of the people just outside the window getting on with their lives. 

His food arrived and he began eating and enjoying his first meal of the day. It was nice having a meal that was flavorful and reminded him of home. As he ate and collected his thoughts for his two meetings for the day, the server refilled his cup and he leisurely wrote down ideas to present in his meeting. He drank the second cup occasionally looking out the window taking in the busy world around him. As he sat there a jubilant little boy caught his eye as he walked down the street holding Robert's hand. Edmund could see he was excitedly talking as the walked down the street. Every now and then they would stop to look at a vegetable stand or Robert would pause long enough to speak with a passerby. Edmund was fascinated with them as they interacted with the different people Robert spoke to. Little Orion would seem to be ok for a few minutes but after that his curiosity would seem to get the best of him as something caught his his eye. All the while Robert seemed to be doing business interacting with the business owners as the boy wiggles around all the while holding Robert's hand. Edmund smiled at what seemed to be a very inquisitive little boy. "Can I get you anything else sir?" said the voice of the server interrupting his thoughts. Edmund looked up a bit startled from his thoughts and shaking his head spoke "No, it was delicious and the best coffee I have had in months". The server smiled and taking up his cup and saucer, he laid the coins down to pay for his meal. The server seeing the generous tip smiled blushing "There is no need to rush sir. Please if you would like to stay and read some more, you are more than welcome." Edmund smiled again "Thank you but I honestly have spent too much time here. I have a meeting set up at 11:00 today and then another later afternoon so I must be getting on." The plump young woman smiled again and thanked him again as he gathered his coat and hat donning it to leave. Looking back out the window he was disappointed to see that Robert and his son were no longer outside. He shook his head smiling to himself. It amazed him how drawn he had been to this little boy after just one meeting he thought. He turned to the door, and feeling the crisp air, he pulled his coat up around his neck. He started back in the direction he had come to start out for his meeting. He walked about a block when he looked up and across the street walking towards him was Robert. Robert no longer had Orion with him and Edmund spoke first "Good Morning Sir". Robert looked up and with a surprised look at seeing Edmund again he turned his head looking over his shoulder from the area he came and then nodding at Edmund said "Mr. Hewlett" to which Edmund corrected him "Edmund please" and Robert nodded. They talked for a few minutes and Edmund asked about the boy and noted he had seen Robert with his son earlier walking down the street while he was eating breakfast at his tavern. Robert tried to hide his emotions and carried on an awkward but pleasant exchange explaining he was walking Orion to a friend's house for the morning while he waited for his partner to get back from paying some merchants for supplies. Robert needed to attend the tavern so he explained it was easier to leave Orion with a friend's mother for a couple of hours. Edmund thought it strange that Robert would not leave the child with his mother but since he did not know Robert that well it wasn't his place to pry. They spoke a few more minutes and Edmund excused himself. Robert breathed a sigh of relief and just as Edmund turned the corner in the direction he was going, Robert spotted Anna walking across the street holding her son's hand as he happily chattered away to his mother having her undivided attention. As she got closer, their eyes met and Anna instantly knew something was bothering him. She crossed the road and with a quizzical look spoke "is everything alright?". Robert looked down at Orion and smiled softly nodding "yes, it's chilly though out here, lets go inside." Sensing something was amiss she went on her instinct following Robert quickly back in the tavern. Once safely back inside the tavern, Anna spoke softly squatting down in front of her brown eyed boy "Orion love, why don't you go to the back room and wait for mummy there" Anna instructed her son, "I'll be there soon and we will decide what adventure we can go on this afternoon after I have looked at the books." she said helping him take his scarf from around his neck as he wiggles out of his coat pulling his cap off his head smiling at her excitedly "okay!" and turned to run to the back of the building to the sitting room where his mum often did her paperwork while Robert worked the front. 

A frozen smile on her face, Anna watched until he disappeared nervously playing with the band on her left hand as she turned to her partner "What is it? What has happened to make you look so pale?" she inquired. Her big brown eyes full of worry. He tried to look at her reassuringly as he whispered so no one would hear "Edmund was here again. He was asking about Orion". Anna paled at those words, as her knees felt weak. "What? When?" she heard herself saying. She couldn't quite wrap her head around his words. Everything was still raw from just the day before. She was tired. It had been very restless night with thoughts of their last days together. She had thought seeing him yesterday had just been a fluke. She assumed he was just passing through but this news shook her to the core almost as badly as seeing him and knowing he had met his son. Her eyes widened as the fear creeped up jumping to her heart. Robert spoke softly trying to sound confident "It was harmless enough I think. He found the cboy delightful from his encounter and while in here eating breakfast he saw us as we walked up the street right before I dropped him off with you at the mercantile moments later." He reached over to lightly touch her elbow as he gently eased her to a table to sit. He laid his hands over hers squeezing gently noting they were ice cold and her face beginning to show the stress of the unknown. "I told him that I had dropped the boy off with another mother to play while I came into the tavern today. I think he did not suspect any different. Why would he? We hardly know each other." Robert said trying to convince himself as much as her. Anna seemed to snap out of her thoughts "He must be in the city for more than a short visit." she said her voice becoming more frantic. "With the location of where he told you he is staying and the fact that twice in 24 hours he has been here, he's bound to come in again and I cannot chance him seeing us together and figuring out the truth." Robert could feel her tensing as she spoke whispering quickly, eyes wide with disbelief. He sat across from her staring intently and very softly spoke to her. "Look, I cannot promise you that he will not show up again, but I can promise you that the truth will not come out unless you want it to. You know that Ben, Caleb and myself along with my father agreed to make sure you and Orion would be safe and out of the gossips way. That's why we are here and not Setauket. That's why the folks in Setauket think Orion is the son of the husband who abandoned you." Anna looked down at her dark brown skirt as she listened to the "story" burned in her brain by now. Nodding she looked upon "yes but what if Edmund sees me and starts putting it together?" I cannot risk that" she continued trying to keep her head level. "I need to leave at least for a while if for no other reason than to protect Orion. Edmund must not know the truth. I will not loose my son! God! What an I doing, we need to disappear before it's too late!" 

Robert looked at her as she spoke noticing the fear in her eyes. He had only seen fear in her eyes one other time and that was when she had moved to York City at his offer to go into business with him. It was right after she had discovered she was with child. She was only a few months along and still wore her band on her hand so no one questioned when she moved to the small house his father and he owned just a few blocks away from the tavern. Robert had lived upstairs in the small apartment over the tavern. He (along with Benjamin and Caleb) had made it appear that Anna had been abandoned by her husband and working for Robert. York City was not Setauket so it was easy to pull off without the idle chitter chatter of gossips. Richard Woodhull had made sure the town's opinion of her was forever marred and once Abe showed his true colors to Anna, that flame had died on her end. On the occasion Abraham did come into the city, it was usually for business only and his wife and child were normally with him. Anna kept a low profile whenever Abraham and Mary came into the tavern. Ben and Caleb occasionally would meet up with their school friend but Anna for the most part did not mix with them. She would find a reason to be away or Robert would switch shifts with her so that she did not have to deal with the Woodhulls. It had worked for the past five years since Anna had permanently left the only home she had ever known. Although Robert had gotten extremely close to Anna, he cared about her very deeply as a friend and partner in their business. To help protect Anna and the boy, the tavern was in his and Ben's names. Anna was an equal partner, a silent one but a partner nonetheless. Robert had to give credit where credit was due with the success of their small tavern. It was because Anna’s personal touch to the place, the curtains, seasonal flowers gracing the tables, the smell of fresh baked pies and desserts along with the delicious homemade food and hot coffee, that is what kept the patrons coming back. She made it an easygoing place, almost like a home with her welcoming spirit. The two of them had worked very hard to make Ben’s investment a good one. He contemplated what he should do to help her. He didn't like seeing his friend, his partner fretting over the news that Edmund Hewlett was staying around for a bit. She thought he was a part of her life that was over with the exception of the beautiful boy that came from their union. He sighed as he studied her quietly as she sat in front of him talking and planning on we next move as so many emotions crossed her face. He knew she was panicking and he understood why. As a matter of fact, in the five years together, he had only seen her looking more panicked one other time and that's when her water had broken the morning of the lad’s birth. She was serving patrons breakfast when he noticed her wince as she poured a couple their coffee. Since it was about a month earlier than what the doctor had decided was her due date, she had assumed it was the baby pushjng to make room in the already tight area of her stomach. He remembered she gasped causing Robert to turn suddenly to see what was wrong. She had paled immediately and as he walked over to her, the lady at the table said “my dear are you alright? It seems your water has broken!” He remembered the panic on her face then and just as before, he knew he had to be calm in the storm that was brewing or their whole world would be turned upside down. Taking her hands into his, he said smiled, looking her in the eyes saying "It's alright, I have a plan.”


	5. Winds of Change

Edmund’s day was a busy one. He had purchased a horse, a beautiful brown steed that the owner of the stables highly recommended for a long journey. As Edmund would be doing quite a bit of traveling to neighboring area, he thought this would be the best and most economical way until he had to go further north up into Canada. His planned trips to Montreal and possible as far out as News Brunswick, would indeed be more costly as he would travel by carriage. He was hoping to get there before the harsher weather started but knew that there was a possibility he would sail home from New Brunswick because of the weather instead of coming back to New York. His plan was to leave in the morning for Danbury Connecticut where he had a few acquaintances from his time in Setauket. 

Setauket, not long ago the mere thought of that town hurt just thinking of it but time has healed some of his wounds and honestly getting back to Scotland had given him the much needed recharge that he needed after the situation with Anna and leaving the colonies. He had basically gone home and licked his wounds while his always devoted mother allowed him the time to heal. He knew that she had probably anticipated when he arrived home he would have his new bride with him but when he walked in without his American bride on his arm she had not pushed him for details. His defeated countenance was enough for her motherly instincts to kick in. He only shared with her that the marriage was called off. His mother didn't press instead just making sure his favorite Scottish dishes were served to him as she proclaimed he was too thin and made sure each meal was prepared with a mother's love as he took a few weeks to rest his body, his mind and acclimate himself to life in Scotland again. She noted he was particularly quiet and withdrawn only joining her at dinner each night as she carried the majority of the conversation about their little village and town folks. He pretended to be interested and smiled or nodded at the correct times during the nightly conversation but he really didn't engage. He played along nightly out of love and respect for his mother. She was really all he had in the world with his father's passing years earlier. He had a few aunts, uncles and cousins between England and Scotland but no one he was as close to as his mother. 

At night, he would sit alone in his room mourning the loss of what was his love and desires for Anna Strong. Edmund lost quite a bit of sleep thinking of her, worrying about her, wondering what was going on in her life after the war. When he did sleep, she haunted his dreams. They had spent two nights and days together and it had been spellbinding, still not seeming real to him. Sometimes he wondered if his drunken mind imagined their lovemaking filled so passionately. His mind clear now, he knew Anna had been very real. Although he had never been that far with a woman, he knew that what they had shared was not just carnal sex. He felt the connection that tethered them together as strongly as he had when he was held in the Rebel camp. That connection had saved his life, now it just ghosted his nights and thoughts. 

He thought of how they had fallen asleep after the first encounter tangled up in each other’s limbs too exhausted to be uncomfortable or feel awkward about what happened between them. Edmund knew it was a sin. She was still very married, it was adultery but he could not stop himself from her allurement. True, Edmund was inexperienced in these types of relations with the opposite sex but he was not so unworldly that he didn't understand the price of Anna's encounter with a man other than her husband, most especially a British officer, if it was discovered. He thought back of how he had awakened a few hours after their first encounter, still feeling fuzzy headed trying to decide exactly what he should do next. He loved her but he knew she did not feel the same about him. However because of his love and respect for her, he couldn't allow his men or anyone to know of what had happened between them. After all, It was he who had allowed her access into the city, he who had made sure she was put up in a safe room at the inn. He remembered lying there on his back thinking about his next step to make sure she wasn't found out. As much as she had hurt him, he knew he should have been the bigger person and not gone to her room. 

He turned his head to look at her, the soft light from the embers of the fire reflecting on her sleeping face as he remembered lying there almost too scared to touch her for fear she was a dream. To Edmund, she was damn near perfection and although he was still a tad hung over he could remember the feel of every curve of her body, the soft moans she made as he pushed inside of her and how her scent filed every pore of his body sending him to heights he had never thought possible. He gently pulled the quilt up over her to ward off the cold hanging in the room, watching her sleep with a soft smile as she sighed softly, snuggling underneath the warmth. His gesture stirred her to slowly wake opening her eyes softly looking at him but not saying a word. Edmund could still recall how tight his chest felt with anxiousness as she looked at him still not speaking. He wondered if she was regretting their lovemaking? He nervously rolled to his side looking at her searching for the proper thing to say. She must have sensed his uneasiness reaching over touching his face with a sleepy smile crossing her face as she spoke her tone soft and gentle “are you alright?" He closed his eyes relieved nodding taking a deep breath holding her smaller hand in his as it laid on his cheek immersed in the feelings of the heavenly moment. “Yes” he smiled back at her “quite alright.” He brought his hand down to her long chestnut curls caressing them, touching her shoulder delicately as if she'd break “and you, are you alright?” She closed her eyes at his touches delighting in every single stroke taking in a deep breath smiling as she opened her eyes tears filling them and nodded yes without speaking. Edmund’s eyes were wet too as he pulled her into his arms her nose touching his neck as she snuggled in closer “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” he whispered softly kissing her forehead as she sighed nuzzling his neck he felt her smiling “Shakespeare?" she giggled causing Edmund to laugh softly nodding and kissing her softly whispering "oh Anna, my dear sweet Anna". 

She returned his kiss in a fervid manner pulling him to her showing him she wanted him as much as he wanted her. This time however Edmund didn't need the alcohol to give him confidence or to guide his awkward hands. It felt natural and he thought of how easily it all was between them. He cherished every single moment with her and she with him. Their time together felt almost supernatural. They were so wrapped up in each other, time stood still. Anna was a patient lover allowing him to explore guiding him on what pleased her. In return she explored his body finding the areas that brought him the most pleasures. She never once made him feel inadequate or insecure because of his lack of experience. Instead, Anna seemed very delighted by his stamina and willingness. Edmund felt an unusual sense of pride in knowing she was happy and he was the reason. He was happy, probably happier than he had ever been in his life. He was also unequivocally more in love with her than he ever thought humanly possible but never spoke those words to her. He decided not to allow anything to disrupt this enchanting world for fear it would come to an end. For once in Edmund's life he went against propriety and just let Anna and all her attention wash over him. They smiled a lot, they cried a bit, they laughed and played and explored together causing their time together to burn in his brain. 

These beautiful memories albeit short lived are what later kept him awake at night long after it was over. He would lay in bed, alone in his room at home in Scotland, thinking of how pure and natural his feelings were. For the first time in his adult life he came to know what love was. He wondered about their time together how she would sometimes look at him a certain way, as if she wanted to say something to him but words never left each her lips. Her eyes spoke something he wasn't sure of as if she was keeping something hidden behind those beautiful brown eyes. 

So he trudged on through life knowing Anna was not meant to be his. He carried on even after waking up alone in her room with only a note saying “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let this happen. Please forgive me.” He had tried to find her, tried in vain to get information from the innkeeper but to no avail. He had gone back to the inn he was staying at, his room looking just as he had left it days before. At first, Edmund didn't know how to react, how to go further. Just a few nights before he was sitting in a tavern, waiting to meet with Anna upon his approval. It was his price to pay for loving a married woman and he found himself in a daze afterwards. Finally the day had come to leave for home to Scotland. He dreaded it but looked forward to it at the same time. It seemed so permanent. It now felt so odd. How was he supposed to go on after this whole experience with Anna, the colonies, this damn war? He was a changed man in more ways than one because of this war and because of the people. He went through the motions as he gathered his belongings packing up his trunk before begrudgingly boarding the ship. This ship he had long waited for now was taking him away from a country that now felt more like home than his beloved Scotland. 

After arriving broken in Scotland and what his mother determined was an appropriate time to heal and rest, she had family friends introduce him to a widow at church. Normally awkward around women, Edmund found himself more at ease now with the opposite sex. The woman, Alice had filled a void for him later and he the same for her. He knew eventually his mother and perhaps the townsfolk would expect them to marry. After all he was in his 40s now and Alice was in her 30s and society would only allow their relationship to go on so long without a commitment. Edmund sighed. Did he want to marry her? He knew although he deeply respected her and her lot in life, he did not love her, not in what his heart now knew was real love. 

Although he felt an affection towards Alice, it always came back to Anna Strong and those feelings he had for her and how different the two were. With Alice it was strictly platonic. Alice was a good earnest woman who came from a respectable farming family and he did have to admit he sometimes found himself smiling during their conversations. She was also a devoutly religious woman who although married before, and a widow, would never entertain as much as a chaste kiss before marriage. To most men, that might seem off putting but to Edmund that was alright, there was no pressures from Alice. His mother however often shared her feelings of what a good candidate Alice would be for a wife. Edmund had to admit to himself, sometimes he considered marriage and having someone to build a life with. He wondered though, did he want to settle down with a woman like Alice just because it was expected? Years ago before his time in the colonies he might would had readily entertained the idea of a marriage based on a woman from a respectable family with no love involved, but after Anna how could he ever be satisfied with that seemed so dull in comparison? He knew he had to make a decision during this time. He had come back to look into business ventures and consider a life back in Scotland or possibly Canada. He had promised his mother he would have a decision when he got back. She wanted him to settle down, maybe give her some grandchildren. Edmund felt the pressure to do the right thing by her and by Alice. His mother's desire for grandchildren made his thoughts go back to the little rascal he had met at Townsend’s. He smiled easily thinking of the boy's loose raven curls poking out from underneath his cap and the twinkling eyes as he chattered on about whatever struck his fancy. Edmund wondered if he and Alice were to marry would they be blessed with children? He had never considered having children but now a chance encounter with a inquisitive little boy had his mind turning to such thoughts. 

He was deep in these thoughts as he rode the roads further outside of the city. He wanted to get use to his new steed and allow the animal to get used to him. The horse had come with a name by the stable owner, Jouett. He was a fine animal, a gentle ride reminding Edmund just how much he had missed riding. He would probably be sore tomorrow but on this beautiful autumn day, he felt comforted by his surroundings. Funny how this felt almost like home to him yet five years had passed. He squeezed his legs around the horse bringing him to a stop underneath a large chestnut tree. He dismounted and pulled his saddle blanket off the horse as he led him to a nearby stream tying him off loosely where he could drink and eat. Edmund had brought him some treats and he nuzzled him as the horse ate from his hand. As the horse grazed close by he removed his hat and loosened his collar a bit sitting on the blanket underneath the tree where he rested a spell while he ate some food he had brought from the inn. He thought of the meeting from his morning appointment. He had a good feeling and a few ideas mulling around in his brain to put on paper later when he got back to his room. He was supposed to meet up with another acquaintance around 3:00 pm. This allowed him time to enjoy the lovely autumn day basking in the serene moment as he listened to the water rushing by, the sounds of birds soon to fly to warmer climates, a gentle breeze blowing the leaves from the tree. Here he could collect his thoughts, rest his foot and later he would ride back into the city, board and groom Jouett before the walk back up to the inn for his next meeting.


	6. Precautionary Measures

The house was quiet as Anna made her way through it gathering the clothes they would need for their upcoming trip. The small three room house was not much but it was exactly what she and her son needed. It was adjacent to the larger house Samuel lived in on the same property and Anna knew that at one time Robert had occupied it once he moved his father closer to where he lived. Although totally alone in life when she found herself carrying Edmund’s child, she never once felt alone since moving to York City. Ben and Caleb came through as often as they could, Caleb more so than Ben because of Ben's obligations through his title in the military. Caleb still a man who marched to his own beat normally came once a week to have dinner with her and Orion usually on a Wednesday since that was a day where she wasn't needed as much in the tavern. It just happened to be the day Caleb conveniently would show up. She always cooked enough food for Robert and Samuel to have a decent meal too but they normally chose to take it at Samuel's house rarely joining them at her table. Instead the two men allowed the old friends from childhood to catch up. Robert and Samuel were like the extended family she had never known. She would occasionally indulge them with baked goods or insist on cooking a big dinner for holidays. Robert and Samuel had made sure Anna was looked after as her girth grew those seven months living alone in York City. They had gone to great lengths to arrange for the best midwife in the area around to deliver her baby when his time came. These men were the only family her son knew and as the years had gone by Anna had grown to consider them her family as well. 

She looked around the room Orion slept in to see if she had missed anything that would make this unexpected trip easier for him. Their rooms were adjacent to each other with a door connecting them. The house was cozy and Anna loved her little home. Robert and Samuel had gone out of their way to let her make the cottage her own. As she collected the few wooden soldiers Caleb had made for Orion and the book Robert was reading to him, she gathered the items together putting the items in a sack to carry with him. Determined to make this an adventure so that he wouldn't wonder why all of the sudden they were taking such a long journey away from everything he had ever known. Robert had sent a letter just in time for the biweekly post to an elderly aunt and uncle who lived in the Philadelphia area. They were in need of some help with feeding the locals who would help with fall crops. The timing worked out nicely for Anna and Orion to visit for the next month. She would help with housekeeping, gathering herbs for medicinal purposes, help with the chores and the cooking to earn her keep. The trip would be a journey by carriage of at least two few days and Samuel Townsend wound accompany them since a lady and a young child would not travel alone. 

They were to leave in the very early hours of the next day and Anna’s stomach was in knots out of nervousness. She trusted Robert and Samuel and knew that they only had their best interest at heart but she and Orion had never been away from York City even to go to Setauket. Now they were going to an unknown area to live with people she only knew by Samuel’s remarks from monthly correspondences. She hated tearing Orion away from his home but she assured herself that it was for the best. Edmund had already been to the tavern twice in the past two days and although he had told Robert he would be leaving the next day, she couldn't chance running into him. She couldn't let him find out about Orion. 

She thought of how he probably still had not forgiven her for sneaking away that early morning when they were last together. She didn't want to leave him but she knew that she had endangered both of their lives by their affair. Although a true affair of the heart, she knew she could never had told Edmund during those two glorious days how she felt about him. She knew that if she had dared share her feelings there would be no turning back for her and she suspected from him. She couldn't risk his life because of her moment of weakness. So, slipping out of the bed they had shared for that time, she left as he slept soundly from she suspected too much wine from their last night of passionate lovemaking. She remembers she had been a bit nauseated that morning, her head was pounding but she felt the panic creeping into her mind as she thought of the possibility of them getting caught. Edmund was to report back in before he was board a ship later that day to take him back to be cashiered. She also knew that Ben was expecting a report from her so she had to act fast with no goodbyes allowed to slow her down. Although she loved Edmund, she knew she had to be the rational one and leave. She hurriedly scribbled a short note to him and walked out into the darkness of the early morning hours to meet Caleb at the arranged spot to take her back to the camp. She didn't allow herself to cry, only pausing long enough to look back to him before she closed the door behind her as she stepped into the next stage of her life. A life without Edmund. 

These thoughts raced through her mind as she sat down on Orion’s smaller bed. She sighed thinking of how she pined over Edmund in the days, weeks after she left him. She remember crying herself to sleep for a whole week each night in camp. Ben and Caleb had no idea what had happened on her trip because she put on a face and reported what she had discovered from Abigail. Ben’s preoccupation with the capture and death of John Andre and the actions of Benedict Arnold left him very busy so she was able to keep the face on in her limited time around him. Anna busied herself during the waking hours as she tolled in the camp with any job that helped her contribute to the cause. She kept Edmund and their days and nights to herself mulling it over and over in her mind. It was only at night, alone in her tent, that she allowed her defenses down and cried for what could have been. 

That first night and the following two days and night with Edmund had been the most peaceful and serene in her life, filled with lovemaking, unspoken words, comfort and pure bliss. She memorized Edmund’s body and it was embedded in her heart now. While Edmund was not much bigger than herself, she took note how fit he was underneath all that uniform. She discovered a man much more beautiful than her eyes beheld before noting even now with a smile, his very firm full backside. She couldn't resist grabbing it when he managed to get out of the bed and she smiled thinking of how her compliments caused him to blush at the mention of her admiration for it. It all was fun and innocent, a natural way between two people in love. She thought it was somewhat bittersweet that no one had ever seen this side of him. It was common knowledge that Edmund lacked the normal experience that most men his age had with other women. She smiled lovingly thinking how she had been his first and how self-conscious he was about that. Admittedly at the beginning (after the alcohol wore off) he was very uncomfortable as she looked at his nude body the first time. If she was to be honest, he was extremely shy seeing her nude with sober eyes, but she understood his nervousness trying to put him at ease. She understood his self effacement and feeling of being defective because of his injury. She could tell he wasn't sure how to react to her eyeing his body hungrily with such calmness and appreciation. Anna made sure he understood she thought his physique was nothing less than beautiful to her making mental notes of the areas he seemed to enjoy her fingers and lips to touch the most. She still remembers his soft moans as she kissed and caressed her way around his body. She thought of his beautiful dark hair minus his wig and how easily her fingers found it while they made love tugging on it, running her fingers through it, ruffling it with passion. The thought of her disheveled Major after their romps of carnal escapades brought her happy thoughts. 

Edmund not only was the most ardent lover of the three men she had been intimate with, but he was also the most thoughtful in his constant attention to her needs making sure she was alright with whatever pleasure his mouth, tongue or member brought to her. His soft boyish smile became more confident once he understood the power he had with the pleasures he brought to her body. Later in the afterglow, softly caressing her as he held her, he listened and engaged actively with her in their pillow talk. While they had spent a good deal of time making love, they also had quite a few deep meaningful talks about their lives up until the moment he was at her doorstep. They opened up about their fears and their hopes and dreams but there was an unspokeness between them on what they felt about each other. Some of their whispered conversation led to a few tears between them but surprisingly not in a bad way, instead she found a much needed release of emotions. The years of feeling unloved, alone, and fearful, Anna felt she was for once wanted and respected just herself and nothing more. Edmund's continuous soft kisses and caresses gave her an understanding for the first time ever in her life what being loved by someone was supposed to be about. In her mind, she knew that with Edmund she had found a type of tranquility that many seek out but never find. 

Coming back into reality, Anna felt tears welling up as shook her head muttering underneath her breath “Don't Anna. Stop it right now!” She stood up quickly placing the bag down by the door. Tomorrow early, she would leave her home for the next thirty days. By then Edmund should be up in Canadian territory out of her life. By then she wound have her heart straightened out. By then she would come back with their son as if nothing happened. By then the wounds of the past two days that had reopened would begin healing. By then life would align with the universe and she prayed for God’s grace for Edmund. She prayed that she would be allowed to continue to raise the son and live in the privacy she worked so hard for. She prayed that one day she could explain to Orion how he was made through love with the British officer who had opened her heart and explain why he could never be a part of their lives. Finally and most importantly she prayed that her son could forgive her.


	7. Reality

Orion happily skipped along as he walked beside his uncle. Caleb looked down at the dark curls bouncing underneath the cap as Orion chattered on and on about the trip he and his mum would be taking the next day. “Mummy said we get to take a carriage. Uncle Robert got it for us so uncle Samuel can ride along to keep us company. She says Pinsylvani is a long journey but we are going to have fun.” Caleb smiled down squeezing his hand winking at him “yea I reckon you'll see some really big elk in that area. Do ya think bigger than the one I saw?” Orion paused making his thinking face making Caleb break out in a smile at the boy’s seriousness. “Uncle Caleb maybe you could come with us to shoot elk while we are there.” Caleb muffled his hair smiling "Sorry little fella but I've got lots of things to do before the really cold weather sets in. You will have to keep an eye out for me and maybe one day we can return and hunt them together.” He could tell the little boy liked that idea as his face lit up as he smiled his wide smile with eyes twinkling with excitement. “Okay, I'll pay attention Uncle Caleb!” Laughing, Caleb hoisted him up in his arms “That's a good lad.” he smiled gesturing toward the busy street ahead “So my wee hunter where do you want me to take you until your mother is finished with her work? We have to be back in a few hours for dinner.” Orion studied his surroundings and excitedly asked “Can we go look at the horses at the stables?!” wiggling in anticipation. Caleb laughed heartedly at his excitement as he tossed the little boy up onto his shoulders "Well alrighty then! Sure we can. That sounds fun." as they made their way down the street toward the stables while Orion giggled grabbing his uncle's cap to hold on as Caleb picked up his pace into a gallop. 

Happily Orion chattered on whatever popped into his four year old mind, then began telling Caleb about his friend Pauly and the adventures of their toy soldiers and their battles in front of the hearth at Pauly’s house the day before. As he prattled away Caleb’s found his mind going back to earlier in the day as sat waiting for Anna. She had seemed lost in her thoughts as she walked from the direction of her house. Upon setting eyes on him waiting for her, a perplexed look and then embarrassed at the realization that it was Wednesday, his usual day to visit. Wednesday was the one day she could count on her lifelong friend to come for a visit and get a home cooked meal out of Anna. This had been their routine for the past four years. Smiling broadly, Caleb waved “Hey Annie wuz wondering when you were gonna get here.” She looked embarrassed as she spoke “Caleb. I'm so sorry. There has been so much to do I'd forgotten what day it was.” Caleb pretended to wince as if she had stung him smiling as he spoke “aye I see how it is you don't need the likes of me coming around bumming a decent meal of ye." winking as he spoke with the always present twinkle in his eye "and me your lifelong friend!” He pretended to be aghast. Anna tried to smile again but she couldn't pretend anymore finding she took a deep breath as she fought to fight the tears as they began bubbling up to the surface. This surely wasn't the reaction he expected. It made Caleb nervous to see tears coming from tough as nails Anna. Seeing tears, Caleb knew this had to be serious. Walking up to her, he softly said “What’s wrong Annie? Is it Orion, is he okay?” Anna swallowed hard nodding her head, trying hard not to fall to pieces in the middle of the street. He saw saw fear in her eyes and looked as if she couldn't breathe easily as she looked at him, her eyes welling with more tears. Caleb’s eyes grew more concerned. “Annie come on you know you can tell me” he coaxed softly. She took another deep breath wiping the tears away bravely smiling “Orion is fine. He's perfect” she sputtered, her voice beginning to waiver again. She began to blow out deep reaths as if to calm herself before she spoke “Ive just been to our house to pack our things for a trip with Samuel Townsend to visit family in Pennsylvania.” Caleb looked confused “Since when? What do you mean leaving for a visit? What has brought this on?” he asked perplexed by the suddenness of the trip. She looked around not wanting to air her laundry for all to hear, she motioned for him and together they walked into the tavern to a place where no one seemed to be paying attention to their entrance, she whispered lowly “Edmund is here.” Caleb stopped in his tracks paling at the words “Wait what?” a little louder than he meant causing a few stray breakfast stragglers a few feet away to look up from their meals. Anna looked around speaking in a hurried whisper “He's back in America!” she looked around again before speaking more calm “scouting land from what he's told Robert and has been HERE twice and…” she stopped taking another deep breath trying to stay calm whispering even softer “and he's met Orion.” Her fearful eyes widening as she spoke. Caleb looked around the room for anyone looking their way as he spoke in an even low tone “wait, how did that happen?” She motioned for him to follow her to the backroom office where they could speak more freely away from the lingering breakfast crowd. Once in the small office, she closed the door and sat down, her hands trembling as she cleared her throat motioning for him to sit. In just a tad louder than a whisper she spoke “two days ago when you happened in town and brought Orion back to drop off with me. I was working on the books do you remember? You left him with Robert because you said you had a run to make.” Nodding his head, he remembered and scowled at any part he could have had in this. Looking at her he said “So Eddy knows about Orion? Has he threatened you?” Anna shook her head trying to speak but her friend’s voice grew louder “I’ll have his hide! Let me take care of him Annie!” he said in a voice getting louder with anger. Anna quickly stood up putting her hand up to his chest, her voice now almost in a hiss “NO you don't understand. Please! Don't jump to conclusions.” The last thing she needed was Caleb going off to ‘handle’ Edmund. She breathed in and taking Caleb’s hand in hers she spoke “He has met Orion but doesn't know of his association with me.” She looked down, turning her head away, tears welling up “he thinks Orion is Robert's son.” The brevity of their conversation hit him quickly. Caleb Brewster was rarely without words or advice but this left him speechless. Anna’s head still down, her eyelashes holding back tears was almost too much to bear. He had been the first person she had confided in that she was carrying Hewlett's child all those years ago. She had entrusted him with her secret and had eveb cried on his shoulder. Caleb loved Anna. He never understood exactly what happened between Anna and Hewlett nor would he understand, but he knew some things needed to be left unsaid and just trust that his friend was telling him the truth. She was one of his longest friends, hell she was like a sister he didn't know he needed. Being protective over her just came naturally after 30 years. So on that faithful day when she told him she was carrying a British Officer’s baby, he had sworn to protect her and that child as long as he had breath in him. He hated to see her once again being dealt another blow in life but Caleb knew the Anna Smith he grew up with, would be stronger from it. 

Getting a hold of his emotions he put his hands on her shoulders gently speaking “Annie girl it's gonna be ok” pulling her into a hug, she fell into him as tears and fears came rushing out as Caleb whispered “promised you five years ago I'd not let anything happen to you and your child. Nothing has changed except that boy has us all wrapped around his finger.” He smiled down into red rimmed eyes speaking softly, "So trust me darling when I say I will take always be here for you and the boy. You have my word that the truth of Orion and his father will be protected at all costs.” She sniffed loudly wiping her tears with the back of her hand as he fumbled for a handkerchief but only finding a very tattered rag in his coat pocket. She smirked at his offer and squeezing his hands “I know. I'm sorry it was just so unexpected. I never imagined Edmund would ever return to America much less walk into my tavern.” her voice still trembling as she continued “I just feel so nervous while I know he's still in the city. As much as I am dreading the long trip tomorrow I am also relieved to be able to remove us from a possibility of another meeting between Edmund and Orion. If for some odd chance he were to see me, I'm sure he would put it together and I am terrified of that happening.” her voice trailed off. Caleb nodded his head, he understood. Very softly he spoke “Well we are going to make sure it does not happen eh?” He tried to sound confident and encouraging but in the back of mind, he had a nagging uneasy feeling. He knew what happened between Edmund and Anna was more than a passing fancy at least on her part. She had told him how she had made the decision to leave in the night fearing she had endangered his life. He couldn't quite shake the what he was feeling. Some things were fated and Caleb was superstitious. Edmund Hewlett coming into Anna's tavern two times in two days was pushing it. Everything happens in threes his mother would tell him as a child. He mulled that over as Anna tried to recover herself before she saw her son again. Trying to change the subject, he perked up “Well Annie girl how about I take our boy with me for the afternoon and then dinner tonight will be on me. We can have a family meal at a restaurant to make sure you and Orion get a proper send off.” Anna sniffed as she pinched her cheeks and tried to tame a wondering whispy curl. She nodded her head managing a smile but words failed to form. Caleb hugged her again and with a wink said “So wash your face, fix your hair and put on your prettiest dress. The lad and I will be back in a few hours to pick you up.” Before she could answer him he spun around barreling out of the back office into the tavern as only Caleb could do where he found Orion sitting in front of the hearth playing with his soldiers while Robert tidied up the dining area after the morning rush. Running towards the Orion, he grabbed the giggling boy up in his arms, peppering him with fuzzy kisses as they headed out on an adventure. 

“Uncle Caleb” he turned at his name being called outside the stables. “Do you think Mr. Lester will let me feed the horses again like last time?” Caleb had put the boy down as they walked hand in hand leisurely “I don't see why not” he smiled down at him . “I hope the big brown steed is there.” the boy spoke “Juette is the best horse in the stables. Mr. Lester told me. He said he is spirited but he is the bestest horse in the stable.” Orion skipped ahead happily as Caleb mulled over everything from his earlier conversation with Anna He kept an eye on the boy as he jumped over puddles ahead a few steps away, stopping to pick up a stick along the way pretending it was a sword as he fought off an opponent in his imagination. There was no doubt Orion was a very active little boy but Caleb recognized his free spirit and inquisitive mind for what it was. Caleb tried to nurture his independence often allowing him more free range than the other adults in his life. Sure Caleb recognized that a boy needed learnin but Caleb felt some things could not be taught inside a four walls. A boy like Orion needed to be able to run free and learn about the real world too, however, Caleb was always within arms lengths to make sure his little lively fella did not get in harm’s way. Anna would not approve but he kept it to himself and Orion knew and understood his boundaries. 

As they approached the stables, Orion turned back smiling “LOOK Uncle Caleb!” he shouted “Juette is here!” and running ahead, Orion recognized his new friend brushing the horse “Hey Edmund!" the little boy yelled running towards the back of the stables before Caleb realized the magnitude of what laid ahead. Caleb could see the object of Orion’s excitement noting the steed did seem a lively horse if not a tad jumpy from his ride. As he took in the man brushing down the horse, a familiarity came over him as he noted the man turning quickly with a look of surprise at seeing the boy. Just as Caleb became aware that Juett’s new owner was the one and only Edmund Hewlett, he became very conscious of a situation that had already began spinning out of control. The boy’s sudden movement along with his shrill and excited voice had caused the horse to become startled. The horse rared back on his hind legs as Edmund Hewlett, (the man who Caleb knew Anna was trying desperate not to run into) attempted to control him. As the excited little boy ran faster towards Edmund, the man seemed to realize he must act quickly as the horse broke free from his grip galloping full speed towards the young boy who suddenly seemed frozen in his tracks, his eyes grew big and frightened as he paled. Recognizing the immediate danger, Edmund frantically ran toward the boy as Caleb simultaneously dashed full speed from the other side to where Orion stood still unable to move, sweeping him up in his arms trying desperately to shield him from any chance of the powerful animal's hooves come crashing down on him. Edmund had reached the exact spot where the boy had been standing just as Caleb grabbed the frightened child. Seeing him in the other man's arms, relief flooded through him as he saw his little friend was safe. The massive steed neighing fiercely and snorting behind him brought Edmund back to reality as he turned quickly trying to move out of the animal’s way just as front legs kicked wildly striking him across the left eye. The force of the animal's weight and hooves cutting across his face knocking him to the stable floor as the animal landed fully on top of him. Shocked by what was unfolding before him a panicked Caleb shielded the boy from seeing his father’s likely death.


	8. Voices of the Past

The warm sun felt good on his upturned face. He felt like he was floating through the tall grass as his horse made his way. He could feel coolness from the breeze blowing the leaves around the ground below him. He was trying to remember where he was at. It looked like home but it didn't. What was that ahead of him? He looked at the female figure in the distance trying to make out the shape. The form looked familiar but he couldn't make the woman out. Alice’s hair wasn't that deep of a brown and the form was too tall and thin to be his mother. He tried to ride closer but the form of the woman seemed to be getting further away as he desperately tried to ride closer to make out who she was. Soon, he could see in a distance the form turn to look behind her as a child, a small boy with the same dark hair running towards her. He could see her pick him up kissing the child hugging him close. He was confused. Who was she? He pushed the horse to go faster towards the forms. She was waving at him. Why? He was confused. Alice did not have a child. He tried to speak but couldn't find his voice. He tried to get the woman’s attention but failed. He felt more confused. Who was that child? Why was the woman waving? Why couldn't he get closer? Suddenly the horse came to a complete stop almost throwing him with a sudden jolt. He tried to make the horse move but the horse was determined he wasn't moving any further. Frustrated he climbed off the animal to try and guide him over to the woman and child. Did they need help? He looked over and realized she had disappeared. More confused now he felt an odd sensation on his boot. Why were his feet wet? He looked down and the grass was gone and he was standing knee deep in a river? Why was he wearing a continental uniform? He was cold, teeth chattering cold. Why was the left side of his head hurting? He reached up to touch his face but couldn't feel anything instead just seeing blood on his hand. What was going on? When did it get dark? He could see the stars but couldn't make out where he was. What was that? He heard someone call his name. He frantically looked around trying see who it was calling his name. That voice was a female. He could hear it clearly but it wasn't a familiar voice at least not his mother’s thick Scottish brogue. It felt so familiar. It made him less anxious but he still could not figure out why. The voice was soothing, rich and calmed him. Suddenly he was extremely cold and aching all over. When did he get into a bed? It felt good to be able to lie down. If he could just close his eyes for a moment, just to rest them. He just needed a moment to rest. He was so…

“He's so feverish Caleb. Do you think we should send for the doctor again?” Anna said pacing the room frantically as Caleb stood nearby looking out the window. “Annie the doctor made it clear that this is expected. He took a horse kick to the face for Christ’s sake! He's lucky it didn't break his jaw. You heard the doc, he said it would be better if he was knocked out because he is probably in excruciating pain. Will you sit down! You are going to wear a hole in the rug” he said trying to get her to calm down. Anna sighed running a shaking hand over a wayward curl. She had not slept all night since yesterday and she was scared. Other than giving birth she had never been so scared in her life. 

It had been a long 14 hours. She thought back to the afternoon before. So much had happened since a stable boy, Amos had ran to the tavern breathlessly searching for her. Panicking, she started without listening to him thinking something had happened to Orion at first. The tall lanky boy had assured her that her son was safe with his mother across the road from the stable. Anna knew Amos and his mother Mrs. Ferguson from church. She was relieved that Orion was not hurt as the boy excitedly explained that Mr. Brewster had sent him because there had been an accident involving one of the horses. Before the boy could finish, she bolted out the door with Amos following behind her. Anna feared Caleb had been hurt. She ran to the stables expecting to see him bleeding or worse. Instead she stopped in her tracks seeing Edmond lying unconscious on the floor of one of the stalls. He was lying there with a dark bruise forming around his left eye making its way down the same side of face. There was a lot of blood drying in the same area. She looked at Caleb squatting beside him and had taken his jacket off and put it under Edmund’s head as he applied pressure on his facial wound. Apparently, it was Mr. Lester, the old stable master who had taken a frightened and crying Orion across the road to Mrs. Ferguson’s house. Caleb had told her the story and how it was because of Edmund that Orion had not been hurt. He told her how it had occurred that they had been in the same place at the same time and it had happened so quickly. He was beside himself with guilt as he continued working on Edmund as he spoke. Anna had been so relieved that Orion was not there to see Edmund that way. Another stable boy had been sent to fetch the doctor. The doctor arriving just after Anna, he pushed past Anna and Amos starting immediately working on Edmund’s wounds. Edmund had suffered major facial lacerations and the swelling was quite severe. Doctor McFarlin worked on him for about an hour as Anna assisted him in any way she could. A fidgety Caleb walked over to check on Orion and spoke with Mrs. Ferguson who offered to keep him with her for supper and then she would get him back to Robert at the tavern. 

After the doctor finished cleaning and sewing Edmund’s face where the lacerations were, he then set his shoulder putting him in a sling. He made it clear that the patient would need to tending to for at least a month as he would be incapacitated. He explained to Anna that normally he would move a patient with these type of injuries to his house, but currently the extra room at the was being occupied by an older gentleman who was recovering from a bout of pneumonia. The doctor had made it clear, Edmund could be sewed up, treated for his injuries around his eye but because of the broken collar bone when the horse fell on him, he would be dependent on others to help him. He could also run a fever from the injury and he would need constant care until the swelling on his face went down and his wounds from the horse’s hooves healed along with his shoulder. Fearing for the horse, Caleb who had returned back from checking on Orion was relieved that the horse had managed not to break a leg or injure himself. He had just been spooked. Amos and Mr Lester managed to get him calm returning him back to his locked stall. While the doctor talked with Anna explaining what Edmund’s care would entail over the better part of a month, she realized she had no other choice but to have him moved to the Townsend house. Robert and Samuel had another bedroom and it was close enough that she could oversee his care. She looked at his injuries, her tears catching in her throat as she looked at his pale battered face. He had always been very fair of complexion but the loss of blood made him look ghostly. This frightened her very much. Having Edmund Hewlett literally hors de com·bat (as the Marquis de Lafayette would say) meant desperate times called for desperate measures and she knew she could not leave him alone for complete strangers to take care of him.

Luckily for Anna, Samuel had offered to take Orion with him on the trip to Pennsylvania. They would be back by next week and that would keep Orion away from the Townsend house while Edmund recuperated. She had only left Edmund’s side for a few minutes to see her sweet boy off on his adventure with Samuel. Orion was very excited. His little body was abuzz with energy that only a 4 year old could have. He was happy to go on the trip and happy Samuel was still taking him. It was bittersweet for her because she had never been away from her son for more than a few hours since his birth. She had choked up as she made Orion promise to be the best boy he could and to mind Samuel. She tried in vain not to tear up when she kissed him, then hugged him, only to kiss him again to say goodbye. Orion was too excited to notice or understand. Samuel had assured her that they would be fine. He would take the very best of care of her son he had whispered in her ear as she hugged the older man tightly kissing his cheek thanking him for everything. There was an unspoken understanding between them and he smiled at her as they parted. Anna knew she could trust Samuel with her boy. After all, he was like the grandfather Orion would never have. He, like Robert had taken to the child from the day Orion entered the world. Samuel had actually given Orion his first bath. Anna smiled at the memory of her as a nervous new mother terrified she was going to drop the wiggly baby during his first bath. Samuel must have picked up on her nervousness and calmly asked if he could help her. She thought of how he rolled up his his sleeves and patiently showed her the best way to bathe a newborn. After that, every few days, he would just happen by to check on her about the time for Orion’s bath. It was a nice little ritual in her son’s first year that she looked forward to and she could tell Samuel did too. He would talk about Robert as a child and Robert’s deceased mother and Anna felt a bond form between her and the elderly man. It was one of the moments she knew that no matter what her boy would always have someone to look out for him. She could be sure that Orion was in good hands with Samuel Townsend’s care. She had a week to sort out what she should do. Now, she found herself sitting by the bed of the unconscious man she had never stopped loving. Because of his heroic actions their son was safe and healthy and happy. She felt a rush of emotions begin to surface thinking of how close Orion came to being injured. It was because of Edmund that he wasn't. It still felt surreal to think of that. Anna shook the feelings off that were creeping up. She didn't have time to allow anything to hinder her especially now. Now she had to figure out how she was going to care for him. Now she had to remind herself that this was not the time to get emotional. After all these years of telling herself that he would never be a part of her life again, he was and would need her to help him

She looked around the empty room. Caleb had brought in a lantern. The room was quiet and all she could hear was his breathing. She reached over to take his hand sitting in the chair beside the bed. She thought by now she would be able to think of what to say to him when he woke up, but she found that she was still at loss for words. What would she say to him? It had been five years since she had left the room they had shared and disappeared. Anna felt the tears welling up as she sat alone in the quiet room looking at him. She had prayed a lot in the past 14 hours for God to give her the right words yet nothing came to her. So many emotions came up to the surface that she had long forgotten. Edmund’s face still very swollen, his hair mussed. She couldn’t help herself from smiling at the last time she had seen the always impeccable Edmund with mussed hair. With that lovely memory, she reached over to gently push his dark hair from his forehead. He felt cooler now she thought and she felt relief thinking this was a good sign. He made a grimace as if in pain and she instinctively pulled her hand away. He soon lifted his eyebrows making a confused expression when she stopped. Putting her hand back on his head, she began stroking it softly whispering to him “You need to sleep Edmund. The doctor said rest will help you get through the pain from the injuries. They're pretty bad but luckily for you you were able to avoid the brunt of the horse’s hooves.” Edmund’s moaned lowly making her her lean closer with a worried look as she stroked his head more. His face softened and he seemed to calm with each stroke. A single tear escape down her face as she watched his reaction to her caresses. Wiping the tear and sniffling quietly, she slid her chair closer leaning on the bed all while continuing to stroke his hair. After a few moments she laid her head down on her arms. Exhaustion began to take over her body and she closed her eyes just to rest them a few minutes. Edmund’s shallow rhythmic breathing calmed her frayed nerves as she rested there squeezing his hand gently and waited. 

He felt warm and safe wherever he was. He could hear a familiar female voice but he couldn't make out where it was coming from or exactly who was calling him. He tried to respond to the voice but he was so confused. How did he get here? Where exactly was he? He could see a pasture up ahead and felt the horse underneath him as he went from a cantor to a walk. It felt like the horse and he were as one and he had never felt so free as the sun shone down on them. Ahead he could see the dark clouds forming. Those dark cloud looked dangerous but he worried that he would end up getting wet? He didn't like feeling cold and wet. Right now he felt so warm. There's that voice again. Where is it coming from? It didn't sound like mother. Why did the voice pull him towards it? Was that laughter? He was so drawn to the voice but he couldn't make it out. As he trudged forward in the grassy field the rain started slowly coming down. He tried to get the horse to speed up but it wouldn't, instead only slowing as it headed towards the darkening clouds ahead. He wanted to find the person who was calling him. He started getting frustrated. His head began throbbing on the left side of his face. Suddenly the pain was unbearable and he could feel himself getting anxious like he had when he was captured all those years ago. He was aching again and he felt like he freezing. He began to feel anxious and scared. Wait, there was the voice again. Immediately he felt calmer. He wasn't on the horse anymore. He looked around. He didn't recognize where he was at. When did he dismount from the horse. Where was he? This looks like a tavern. Why did it look familiar? Finally he felt comforted and he could feel himself relaxing. He felt himself calming as the pain was subsiding for now. The warmth was encompassing him again. Taking a deep breath, he felt a sharp pain. Was that his shoulder? When had her hurt his shoulder? Groaning from pain, he tried to touch his shoulder but couldn't move it. He felt like he had something heavy lying on him covering him. He was trying to open his eyes but the brightness was hard for his eyes to become acclimated. Why was it so bright around him? The brightness was hurting his eyes. His head was pounding again.

He stirred in the bed feeling the soft cotton mattress beneath him and the quilt over him. Slowly he opened his eyes against the harshness of the light from a single oil lamp on the table next to the bed he was lying in. Confused he tried to move and he felt a sharp pang in his shoulder and he frowned. Slowly he realized that he was lying in a bed in a room that didn't look familiar. It was not his room at home. He remembered he was not at home, he was in America. This was not the same room he had rented at the inn was it? He tried desperately to remember what happened and why he was in a bed. Confused he looked again at the lamp. His left hand felt cold outside the covers. His right hand felt different and warm. He realized his right hand was covered by a smaller hand slowly turning his head to look. In the soft glow of the light his eyes rested on a sleeping woman. She was seated beside the bed where he lay, her head down resting on her arms. He tried in vain to speak but his throat was so dry and parched. Clearing his throat, the woman didn't move. Edmund closed his eyes, trying to remember but everything felt like he was in a fog. He felt so weak. The woman stirred beside him. He went to speak again, this time barely recognizing his own voice as it came out as a raspy whisper. Looking at the sleeping woman holding his hand, he spoke “Hello”.


	9. Facing the Truth

Anna felt at peace between dreaming and awake. She could hear his breathing and the rythmn of it rocked her gently into a quiet area of her mind that was without pain or emotions. It was a safe place that she was in and she did not want to come out of it but a movement on the bed where she laid her head has stirred her awake as she heard a hoarse whisper " Hello." She laid there for a moment thinking it was part of her dream state but then "I'm sorry, pardon" the voice said pained and a little confused. Anna opened her eyes, relieft filling her at waking to the sound of his voice. Trying desperately to compose herself, she lifted her head slowly from her arms looking up with bleary, sleepless eyes at the voice. The room dimly lit now from the oil lamp running low, she spoke softly "Shh, hello" she whispered gently "I am sorry, I must have dozed off" she continued "Are you in pain?" Hearing her voice in the darkening room he thought he must be dreaming and looked around in confusion "Where am I?" he said growing more perplexed "I don't understand" he groaned as if in pain suddenly. Anna reached up to touch the bandages causing Edmund to flinch with an almost animal instinct. Anna stopped mid air and took a deep breath "You were kicked by a horse. Do you remember? There is still a lot of swelling and the doctor said it will take some time to heal completely." He attempted to sit up but again groaned as the pain shot through his left shoulder area. Through gritted teeth he tensed up and started feeling dizzy "What? I was kicked by what? " he said before he laid back slowly on the bed, hair mussed and sweaty and writhing in agony as he tried to compose himself. 

Anna could see his uneasiness. She watched his breathing increase as she watched his chest go into a rapid motion up and down. She stretch her back and shoulders sitting upright in the chair as she craned her her neck rubbing it with her hand as she stood repeating herself softly " Do you remember the stables? You were in an accident and have some very serious facial injuries." She watched him flinch in pain as he touched the left area around his eye. Continuing with the details of the accident, she said "You also broke your collarbone. The doctor said you will need to rest for at least a month to heal completely." she went to continue but he interrupted seemingly more agitated "I do not understand. What do you mean an accident? I've only just arrived here and I need to see to my room at the inn." he insisted "How was I in an accident at a stable?" he said the shooting pain causing him to become more unsettled. The pain in his face and shoulder were starting to overcome him as he spoke. "I don't understand." looking at her more confused "Why are you here?" The room was now more dimly lit as the flame in the lamp was quickly going out . "Is this a dream? I've dreamed of you so much. Is this the pain overtaking my mind? Am I being punished again for my sins?" he said, his voice catching before he stopped talking altogether falling quiet. Nervously, Anna's lips tersed. Seeing him in pain was hard but seeing him confused and vulnerable was harder. Taking a deep breath she swallowed the tears forming in the back of her throat before speaking "Edmund tis not a dream. You have been injured very seriously and I was fetched" she tried to finish before he interrupted her mid sentence "because why....We were once aquainted?" he said through clenched teeth closing his eyes from the pain "in Setauket! Why are you HERE?" he spat "Why are you not back in Setauket with your husband" he continued angrily as a sudden sharp pain in his shoulder made him groan loudly and breathing heavily, perspiration forming on his face. Anna calmed herself searching for the right words before speaking. Trying to remain calm she asked God in her mind to give her the right words. A quiet moment passed before she continued softly "York City is bigger yes, but many of the locals know each other. The stable boy knew I was from Setauket and had heard you tell Mr. Lester that you had once commanded the garrison there. It's simple really. Mr. Lester knows that after I left Setauket that I was a camp follower and one of my duties was to take care of the injured men. He thought it would..."she tried to continue explaining to him but very weakly he begged "please just leave me. I do not need your sympathy or self-pity or whatever this is" breathing heavier with each sentence. Anna stood there not really sure what to say or do. She knew that she could not leave him especially like this but she did not want to make it harder for him. Sighing she softly whispered "Edmund." bending over the bed looking him in the eye, his left badly bruised eye still not open all the way, she spoke slowly and gently "Please listen and understand I am not doing this out of sympathy or self-pity" Edmund's eyebrows drew together and he looked back at her begrudingly as she continued "I am doing this because you and I were friends once. Actually, we both know that we were more than that" he huffed shaking his head slowly as she continued to speak " You are very seriously injured. There is NO ONE here that can help. You are an ocean away from your loved ones and you don't know anyone here in York City but me. It is really just a matter of human compassion that I am here." she lifted her chin and stubbornly looked at him again speaking "If the tables were turned and it was I who was gravely injured, would you not help me?" she continued as he looked away. Sadness engulfing him. He knew she was right at least on the last part. As much as he had mourned what had happened between them, he knew in his heart of hearts that if Anna had shown up in Scotland and he had found out she was hurt and in need, he would have rushed to help her. He knew that he would not have thought twice about it. He continued to look away from her as he mulled this over in his foggy brain. He still wasn't sure how he ended up in a stable. The only thing he could remember was getting off the ship and checking into a room at an inn. Everything else was still a blur and his mind felt so jumbled as his head was pounding and his shoulder was hurting more. He felt very vulnerable and alone. 

Anna had moved to the other side of the room lighting a candle placing it on the table small where the lamp had been. She then walked around to light a second candle placing it on the small desk to the right of Edmund's bed. Nervously wiping her hands on the apron of her dress, she self consciously smoothed back her curls that had escaped her bun. Clearing her throat she asked "Please Edmund tell me what I can do to help you." When he did not answer she said softly "I'm here to help you, that is all. Not feel sorry for you or pity you, just help you until you can help yourself." Edmund looked at her and closing his eyes he said with a hint of sarcasm "And what will your husband say to you helping me?" He regretted it as it came out more harsh than he had intended. She looked away and then at her feet before answering "He is..." she paused not wanting to lie to him but not wanting him to know the whole truth "not here. He is in Philadelphia with Congress." She looked up at the ceiling without his notice. He paused not realizing he was was holding his breath while she spoke. He hesitated and then breathed saying. "So, he continues his work in Philadelphia" pausing to chose the right words without sounding resentful "That must be hard even with the best of marriages and I presume with children." Anna's head jerked up but it went unnoticed by Edmund. She again decided not to lie to him "Yes, he continues in Philadelphia" and left it at that. "I am here now in York City. Going back to Setauket was not possible after everything that happened during the war..." her voice trailed off. Edmund closed his eyes, knowing exactly what she was referring to. Her relationship with Abraham Woodhull made her a marked woman for idle gossip of the small minded mentlity the town's little society. He understood all too well what that did to her reputation. He also knew in all honesty, that he had played a part in that with the wedding debacle which had led her to flee to Washington's camp where she found shelter and protection working as a camp follower. He also had to admit after years of going over what had happened between them five years ago that if their liason ever came to light in any way, she would have been a woman labeled an adulterous traitor. Guilt ridden, he laid his head back on the pillow. His head throbbing with pain, his shoulder not much better, he spoke "I am sorry that this has placed another burden on you Madam. I assure you that I would rather be anywhere than here. You have my word that as soon as I can take care of myself or at least hire someone, I will be off your hands." Looking around the room he asked "Where exactly am I? This does not look like the room I paid for." Anna swallowed. Again not wanting to lie she spoke "This is Samuel Townsend's home. He was kind enought to let you stay here since it would be closer to where..."she paused trying to look for the right words before Edmund interupted. "You are nearby?" Turning to her as he spoke he recalled "I remember Mr. Townsend's name from Setauket... I believe his house there was burned to the ground. I vaguely remember a son, I think he lived and worked in York City..." his voice trailing off. Anna nodded without speaking further allowing Edmund to come to his own conclusions. He lifted his right hand to his temple, closing his eyes frowning as he spoke "This is not the most ideal situation for either of us but it is apparent that I am really at your mercy for now" paling as he continued. "I feel very weak and starting to feel sick to my stomach" he said almost apologetically. Before he could speak further, she recognized the onset of nausousness from her time in the camp and quickly grabbed the chamber pot moving it to the bed as he tried to roll to his right side moaning in pain as he began to vomit very violently. Trying hard to steady himself his hands and arms shook making it hard for him to hold himself up. She tenderrly reached around his body allowing him to lean against her while he vomitted continously for a few minutes. She tried to calm him as she watched all color drain from his face, his body heaving as he vomited. The pain ran through his shoulder, his face felt like it was going to burst from the tightness of swelling and pressure around his eye. He finally stopped, catching his breath as Anna placed a cool wet rag to his forhead layaing him gently back in the bed. The nausea subsided. He was grateful for it as he tried not to focus on the intense pain throughout his face and shoulder. Once the color started coming back to his face, she stopped her task as he relaxed. She found the cup and poured him some water bringing it to his dry lips, holding it for him as he drank, speaking "There now, just slow sips. Does that help?" she asked and then continued "I need you to try to remain calm and take slow steady breaths through the pain until it subsides." she continued as he did as she instructed. After a few moments he seemed in less pain and out of danger of vomiting more, she continued "I have some chamomile. I am going to make you some tea. It should calm your stomach a bit." looking at him. He had began dozing off from the sudden burst of sickness. His breathing more calm she watched intently as she sat there fighting back all the feelings she had kept to herself for the past five years began to overcome her. Feeling like she might burst into tears, she moved to the other side of the room worried he might wake up and see her. At the water basin, she splashed her face with the cool water trying to stall the tears as much as possible. She needed to get out of this room as anxiety took over but she knew she couldn't leave him and she would never ask Robert to help her as he had the tavern to run on his own without her presence. She was in this alone and she knew she could not let her emotions get the best of her, not now. She had to be stronger than she had ever been she told herself. Her mind raced with thoughts of what they had had together, the result of that love and the guilt she carried over Orion. All of those emotions bubbled to the surface and she became overwrought. 

As Edmund rested, she pulled the chair to the other side of the room and sat down by the window looking out onto the street that the Townsend house looked over. Suddenly, she couldn't hold back the tears any longer as it felt like a gate opened with the tears flooding out as she placed her hand over her mouth trying to choke back the sounds of her pain and sadness. She cried not just for what had happened in the last three days but cried for the pain of leaving Edmund five years ago, for finding out she was pregnant with another man's child and not her husbands. She cried for having to leave the only protection she had in Washington's camp. She cried for the fears she had to stifle when she moved to York City and cried for bringing a child into a world that could be very cruel if it was found out who his real father was. She cried because she had never stopped loving Edmund and she cried at the fear of what could happen at the possibility of him finding out the truth of Orion. She did not allow any sounds to come out, clamping her hands hard over her mouth her body shaking with remorse and fear. The tears flowed for over an hour as Edmund slept fitfully, his body fatigue from pain. After awhile, she was able to stop the tears. She was exhausted. She longed for her own bed and for her little boy. Samuel had promised he would send word to her as soon as he could that they had arrived safely. It would probably be at least a few days before any word came to her. Her nerves were frayed and she wiped salty tears away as she walked back taking the chair beside Edmund's bed. He seemed to sleep better now and she decided not to wake him to see if he needed anything. Instead she got up and stoked the fire then walked back over to right side of his bed and sat down in the chair. Looking at his sleeping face, she reached over but stopped short of touching his head fearing it would wake him. She found the blanket that Samuel had put in the room and she wrapped it around her as she laid her head on her arms placing them again on his bed. She prayed for guidance and wisdom and strength. She prayed for Samuel and Orion's trip. She prayed for forgiveness and mercy. As she prayed, she could hear Edmund's steady breathing. Taking a deep breath, she released the breath in one long exhale as she closed her heavy lids. The room was quiet, warming from the fire. The only sound was Edmund's light snoring as he rested there beside her. Her frayed nerves began to ease somewhat knowing he was at least resting better now. As she laid her head there, a long awaited peaceful sleep overcame her as she surrendered to it.


	10. A Healing Time

The following days were busy ones while Anna took care of Edmund. Because he was totally dependent on her care, she only managed a few hours of sleep each night. She was anxious for him with the severity of his injuries so even when he slept, she found she couldn't easily. Robert took over all of the tavern responsibilities to help her out. He had the receipts for the day's expenses sent over nightly by messenger and often she worked downstairs late into the night to keep up with the accounting and the bookwork. Robert had offered to stay in the small room over the tavern so that she could rest at night in his room. It was located directly across from the room that Edmund was in making it easier for her to hear him if he called out for her. He never did...as a matter of fact, he hardly spoke to her at all. His pain was often so intense that he slept a great deal of the time, but even awake, he did not attempt any conversation with her, except to answer a grunt yes or no to direct questions. He barely ate when she cooked for him and became quite irritable because she had to cut his food due to the severity of his shoulder injury, so a lot of the time he chose not to eat. She worried because his color was a dreary shade which concerned her. She was relieved though to see the swelling on the left side of his face going down. His prominent cheekbones were starting to reappear and his beautiful eyes were no longer surrounded by the bruising left from the horse's kicks. No matter how bad he felt or irritated he seemed he never turned the anger at the situation on her. Always the perfect gentleman she thought. His melancholy mood troubled her deeply, however Anna persevered in her care of Edmund. 

She hired a local man who had once worked beside the doctors on the battlefield to come a few times a day to help her turn him in the bed as the doctor recommended to avoid lung fever. Her patient was in extreme pain for the twice a day sessions but Anna reassured him it was for the best. He never commented, just stayed disturbingly withdrawn and quiet. The man also assisted Edmund with personal matters much to Edmund’s displeasure. He allowed the help only out of necessity but the one thing Edmund refused to be helped with however was to be bathed. Anna did not fight him, instead she picked her battles. The stubble on his face was starting to grow out and although he was not a hairy man, he was starting to look unkempt. His dark hair now longer and tied back at his neck, the man before her was not like the man she had known in Setauket. No the man before her was a changed man in more ways than one and Anna needed to handle him with kid gloves.

By the third full day of his confinement the doctor returned to remove his bandages and clean his lacerations. He applied a Yarrow poultice to the wounds to his face where he had stitched around the area of his left eye. The doctor seemed to feel that the stitching around the eye was holding well and he would only have small scarring. The Yarrow plant, the doctor explained would help the rest of the swelling from the cuts that didn't need stitching and probably would heal properly. In a few days the doctor assured her Edmund could be moved a to sit up in a chair for an hour twice a day. As she and the doctor spoke, she noticed Edmund made no response. Instead he just stared off in the confines of the bedroom as she discussed his care. As she walked the doctor out, she brought up Edmund’s downcast mood. He assured her that was common with severe injures but it should pass and it was just a matter of time. What the doctor didn't know is time was something Anna didn't have a lot of. Orion and Samuel would be coming back the middle of next week and she had not yet worked out how she was going to take care of Edmund and be a mother to her little boy. She could not allow that worry in her mind right now she decided. Instead she had to focus on Edmund now and making sure he got the best care possible. She returned back inside the house and went up the stairs to Edmund’s room. 

As she reached the landing at the top of the stairs, she caught a look at her reflection in a mirror on the wall. She looked ghastly and was sure she must appear to be quite frightful to her patient. Like him, she very much needed a good soak in a tub and her hair could use grooming as well but until he was more settled that wasn't a priority. Taking a deep breath and smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress, she forced a happier countenance on her face before entering the room. 

Edmund looked to be asleep and not wanting to disturb him, she quietly walked over to clean off the table of bandages and such that were used to treat his wounds. She had her back to him as she began humming softly to herself while she worked. Edmund opened his eye at the sound of her voice as she hummed. After the doctor attended him he had found it quite exhausting and had dosed off. Lying there hearing her soft humming almost felt dreamlike. He thought maybe he should let her know he was awake since she was turned away from him but he couldn't bring himself to do that just yet. He watched her as she moved quietly and felt a pang of guilt knowing she had been with him the whole time over the past few days barely leaving his side. He knew that she had really gone beyond what was expected and he knew she did not have to. Anna was a married woman who had a different life now but no matter what his feeling were towards her the other day, he knew that she was the reason he was going to be alright. Not realizing he was awake, she tirelessly continued at her task, changing the tune she was humming. He continued to study her very quietly from his sickbed. Edmund admired how she was not afraid of work. If he was honest she had always left him in awe at her strength and grace under the most extreme situations even before his feelings for her surfaced. His mind went back to Setauket remembering how she tolled sometimes 12-14 hour days for DeYoung for little pay and even less respect. Anna had always kept her dignity as she dealt with what life handed her and it seemed this situation was no different as she handled this with dignity and grace. He watched as dark hair teased at her long alabaster neck as it started coming loose with little wisps of curls escaping from her bun. He almost smiled at seeing it. She was still so breathtakingly beautiful to him and he thought the years had been very good to her after the war. She really had not aged a bit, her skin still lovely with the pink undertones. His mind went back to how her skin felt like the finest silk under his fingers all those years before. He couldn't stop thinking about those few days they were together. He closed his eyes at the memory. He knew he needed to stop thinking of her but that empty feeling in the bottom of his stomach pulled him in that direction. God he had missed her so much he thought remembering how afterwards in Scotland he had ached physically for her, cried tears over what he desperately wanted. He had come to realize that what happened between them should have never happened between them. He also knew as hurt and angry as he was when he woke that morning alone after their time together, she had been the bravest of the two of them. He knew he wouldn't have been able to leave her. Suddenly awash with emotions, he became frustrated dealing with the rush. Lying in that room he felt like it was closing in with her so close and he could only lie there unable to move without help. Exasperated, he tried to look at anything but her however it was a very small room filled with her scent, her presence, and it was overwhelming. He knew that because he had encountered Anna Strong again, no matter what the outcome, he would never be the same. He groaned out loud in despair huffing loudly in exasperation causing her to turn quickly from her task looking embarrassed that he had heard her. “Oh Edmund, I am sorry” she said in a husky voice “I did not mean to wake you. It's just that…” Edmund growled “You did not! That is to say, you are not what woke me. I am lying here in agony and that is what woke me!” he turned his head away from her ashamed at his tone. Taken aback by the sudden outburst she nodded “yes of course, of course, I'll let you rest.” Her brow furrowed she opened her mouth to speak and then closed it, a bit befuddled at his mood, she inquired “Uh…” she nervously smoothed down her hair “before I go is there anything I can do?” She inquired softly the air filled suddenly with thick tension. “I have just made some soup and fresh bread before the doctor…” Edmund’s head snapped back to look at her “I am NOT hungry Madam! I am in PAIN. How hard is that for you to understand?!” he growled getting louder. She was completely surprised by this and most unprepared catching her unguarded. Raw emotions began to surface as she tried to speak but couldn't. She stood there trying not to let her emotions get the best of her as she wrung her hands nodding wearily to him before excusing herself gathering up her skirt to flee quickly leaving the supplies by his bed. As she stepped into the hallway, the tears began to escape and not wanting a scene, she ran downstairs. 

Edmund sighed, his eyes closed tight as his head began to throb. He was no fool. He saw the look of hurt and surprise on her face from his outburst. He knew those dark circles under her eyes were because of him. He wanted to stop her as she ran out of the room defeated by his hateful words. He wanted to call her back and apologize but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Pride got in the way. Instead he fumed in rejection and anger as he tried desperately to make the pain in his heart stop.

Anna stumbled into the kitchen tears flowing. She walked to the pot of soup on the fire and removed it putting it on the hearth. The fresh bread waiting to be sliced. Her face hot with tears, she stepped quickly to the basin and began to splash her face with cold water to calm her raw nerves. She attempted to take deep breathes as she toweled her face. Exhaustion began setting in and she was wavering from her attempts to hold back the anguish she was keeping inside. She sank wearily into a chair at the table biting at her lip as she forced herself to focus and pull herself together. Clasping her hands together she closed her eyes laying her head on her hands. She began praying. As she prayed for Edmund, the tears began flowing again. Her heart was ripped open again and fragile as she tried to put into words what she was feeling and how she knew she was powerless. After a while, her lids heavy, she felt a sense of peace come over her. She laid her head down across her arms on the table trying in vain to stay awake but soon the weariness of the world overcame her. Unable to fight it anymore, she felt relaxed for the first time in days, sighing she closed her eyes as she drifted off into a deep sleep dreaming of another time, another life, another Edmund.


	11. Guilt and Resolve

Edmund couldn't sleep. His outburst of anger towards Anna at the mere suggestion of a meal was unnecessary and he knew it. His mind wouldn't allow him to rest out of shame. His head hurting and tired of lying in the bed, he forced his body to sit up groaning at the sharp pain in his shoulder with each awkward movement. Upright and throwing his legs to the side of the bed he placed his feet on the cold wooden floor stretching his neck slowly and moving his right shoulder as it made a crackling noise. Dressed only in his shirt he looked around the room for his breeches. He needed to move about the room to clear his head but he would be damned if he was literally going to be caught by anyone without his breeches! Slowly he stood on wobbly legs as he cautiously moved over to the nearest chest of drawers to see if he could locate them. The room he occupied was modestly furnished with just the bed, a small chest of drawers for clothing, a chair and writing table that currently occupied a pitcher of water basin and the left over bandages Anna had left when fleeing his room earlier from his outburst. He made it to the chest of drawers feeling weaker than he expected. He opened the top drawer and saw that somehow she had managed to get his trunk from his room at the inn putting all his clothing in the chest. He noted they had been freshly laundered and arranged carefully. He ran his hand slowly running over where her hands had been as he sighed opening several drawers before finally locating a pair of breeches. He felt weak and questioned if getting out of bed had been a good idea. He thought about calling out for Anna but decided it would not be appropriate considering how harshly he had spoken to her just an hour before. He was probably weak from not eating properly. He knew his stubbornness was the cause of the way he was feeling. There was a mirror on top of the chest of drawers and he glanced over to get a look at the damage the horse’s hooves had inflicted. What he saw was a very bruised up face with swelling still but not nearly as badly as it had been described by Anna and the doctor a few days before. His left eye now open completely he could see well enough to know that he desperately needed a shave and bath. His hair was still pulled back but he realized he could use a good washing and grooming. Running his right hand over the left side of his face, he flinched closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “Okay Edmund this is ridiculous, you've survived a much worse situation on your own.” he whispered out loud. Slowly he sat in a nearby chair and put his breeches on managing at least to make himself presentable if he encountered anyone in search of food.  


He hobbled over to the closed door and turning the handle opened it as it creaked echoing throughout the quiet house. Finding himself on the landing at the top of the stairs, he accessed the situation logistically to make sure he didn't roll down the stairs. Step by step, one foot at a time slowly landing on each descended step he managed to hold the banister until his knuckles turned white because he was gripping it so hard. Finally he got to the last step and found himself standing in the foyer off of a small sitting room again modestly furnished lacking what he thought was a woman’s touch. He looked around to see if he was alone. In the three days since he had been there, between sleeping off the pain and the few hours he was awake, the only people he encountered were Anna, the doctor, and the man who came a few times a day to assist with his care. He was sure there was no one else living there but he wondered how Anna had managed to get him here to recuperate. Other than Setauket what was her relationship with Mr. Townsend he wondered? So much of the past days were a blur he thought to himself. He was having trouble remember the past 24 hours much less any time in the days prior to the accident before that. He knew he was in America for a purpose but the reality was other than the long voyage over, much of his trip was very blurred and he was having trouble remembering his time in America since arriving. Edmund felt very vulnerable and knowing he was totally dependent on Anna, the one person he had tried so hard to forget was unsettling to him. Somehow his insecurities and heartbreak resurfaced and with his injuries very apparent, he knew he had to push himself through if he ever planned on being free of these feelings. Shaking them off he proceeded with his mission of finding something to eat. 

He walked into the sitting room finding his way to hold on to the back of a chair across from another matching chair with a table between them. There he rested collecting his thoughts devising his plan. Across from the chairs was a small settee. He was tiring easily and started to doubt himself on whether this was a good idea alone. Deciding the kitchen would be in the back of the house, he again tried to figure out the logistics so that he would not pass out from exhaustion whilst looking for nourishment. He managed to step around the chair sitting a few minutes trying to gather up his strength. Looking around the room, he spotted a bible and journal placed on a table near the chair he was in. The window overlooking a small garden leading to a road busy with people going on with their everyday lives. Edmund felt very small looking out from inside of his confinement. He thought how everything had changed so quickly for him. He had such high hopes for this trip to America and the Canadian territory and now 6 days into an extended long trip he was here, dependent on other’s care. He knew he needed to contact his mother and maybe Alice to alert them of his injuries and the probable end of his trip or delay his trip home. Struggling with emotions he didn't understand and some loss of memory, he wondered why he hadn't really thought of Alice much in his few days of confinement. Sitting there he concluded that he knew why...his mind going straight to Anna. How would he ever be able to get her out of his system if he was to be confined for at least a month in her care? He had only recently been able to go a day or more without her consuming his every thought from just their brief time together. He feared that this encounter would be something he would not overcome unless he took matters into his own hands. Didn't he owe this to Alice? They had not formerly committed to each other but Edmund felt a sense of loyalty to her oddly enough. Thinking of Anna and the task ahead of his recuperation made him realize he needed to get back to the inn and perhaps find a caregiver through the doctor treating him whom he could pay to take care of him. It unfortunately would affect his money budgeted for the trip but Edmund felt it imperative for his heart and Anna’s sanity to do this as quickly as possible. 

He stood up, a little nauseated and feeling achy from the chill in the house, he made himself plough through as he continued the task ahead. He assured himself nourishment would help greatly. He began making his way towards where he was sure the kitchen area might be located. His legs still feeling shaky while his shoulder ached with movement, he placed his right hand on the left elbow to keep the pain from jarring throughout his body as he walked. The inside of the home was darkened from the overcast day outside as he navigated through the small rooms praying he wouldn't bump into anything. Finally reaching what he was sure was the kitchen from the delicious smells coming from freshly made food and wood burning, he stumbled in looking around for a place to sit. His adventure out of his room had made him weary but he pushed himself to continue as he stepped toward the nearest chair, stopping suddenly seeing Anna sitting in a chair, bent over the table with her head laying across her arms as they rested on the table. Guiltily he realized how physically and emotionally spent she must be dealing with him after all this time. 

He wanted so badly to reach over to touch her face but instead took a moment to take it all in as his mind remembered a time alone with her all those years ago waking up to her asleep beside him her luxurious hair partially hiding her face. He thought of how he couldn't resist reaching over to touch it as he brushed it back not wanting to wake her, but just to take all her beauty in from waking up beside her in her bed. Edmund closed his eyes as the memory flooded his senses thinking how she awoke. Her soft eyes filled with sleep and she was almost purring at his touch he remembered with a smile. As agile as a cat, Anna was soon awake slinking over to him smiling, lovingly and gently kissing him, sliding her lips to his ears whispering her delight in finding him awake, telling him how much she wanted more of him as she moved her mouth down his neck kissing, nibbling as she made her way down his chest, her hair sprawled over him with her continued movement downward. He had felt like his heart would beat out of his chest with excitement as she continued pleasuring him and experiencing feelings he had never known existed. Her passion for him overwhelmed his thoughts as she led him and showed him how to return the favor. He thought how he pleasured her with his mouth as he kissed her, teased her, just as she had done to him only moments earlier as she clinaxed. Bringing her to these heights of ecstasy excited him more than he understood as he soon began realizing his appetite for her was more than he could explain. He whispered confidently in her ear that he needed to be inside her again. Anna laughed delighted at his eagerness and happily assured him she was up for the task as he mounted her pushing deeper and deeper inside of her. Her moans and whispers lead him to what he could only recall as perfection as they both reached their climaxes together, their bodies glistening with sweat in their afterglow. He recalled how they relaxed in the tub, her back leaning against his chest as they soaked in the warm sudsy water both delighting in this time together. She had let him wash her beautiful hair and then later let him dry her off in front of the fire as he worshipped every inch of her body with his eyes and lips as she watched him with a look he would never forget. Funny how with Anna he did not feel self conscious about his body. His confidence built more as she returned the favor of drying him off, looking at his body and gliding kisses over it. By nature he was a very modest man and nudity did not come easily but with her he thought of how easy it had been between them most of that time together they had been naked. They had only put on clothes long enough for him to fetch wood for the fire or food from the innkeeper to keep up their strength. Because of the pass he got for her to enter into the city, most assumed he was Anna's husband. No one seemed to question it or really care in York City. It was not Setauket where everyone knew your business and that anonymity is probably what made their time together so special. A shiver went over him as he came back to reality. That time was passed and he knew he had to push it out of his mind. Now he found himself standing in a stranger’s home, badly injured and barely able to walk much less stand in only his shirt and breeches looking at Anna unkempt from the last three days of taking care of him sound asleep sitting at a table from exhaustion. He moved quietly trying not to disturb her, however her nerves still frayed and sensing someone was in the room with her, she stirred awakening groggily opening her eyes trying to figure out when she had fallen asleep. Lifting her head she blinked looking around the kitchen in confusion. Seeing him standing in front of her, it slowly began to register that Edmund was not where she had left him. Instead he was standing before her and out of his sick bed.


	12. Peaceful Existence

Anna jumped up in surprise at the reality of seeing him standing before her to which he reacted by putting up his right hand in defense “I am sorry Madam” he said softly “ I did not mean to frighten you...he paused. “It's just I am hungry…now” he stammered embarrassed and tongue tied as he continued “I thought... I should perhaps start...doing things for myself” he explained at his sudden appearance. Staring at him in disbelief, she was still not sure how he had managed to get downstairs as she looked at the clock noticing over an hour had passed “Um, what?” she asked still not fully awake trying to compose herself saying “You are very pale. Are you sure you're alright?” she questioned taking in his appearance of shirt tail untucked, with breeches on and barefoot in front of her as she her eyebrows furrowed together inquiring “I'm sorry but how did you get down here?” She rubbed her forehead trying to head off a dull headache that was threatening to surface from lack of sleep. “You need to be in bed resting” she said closing her eyes in exasperation. Edmund tried not to act indignant towards her concern as he responded “Madam I've been taking care of myself for a long time. Surely after Connecticut all those years ago, I can overcome a few bruises and broke bones!” he sputtered out already not liking his tone of voice towards her. Anna balked at his attitude her eyes widening as she became more agitated. Putting her hands up she tried to reason "But you've been seriously injured! The doctor has said at least a month of recovery." Growing more irritated with each sentence she spat "You are being foolish and stubborn!” her annoyance towards him very clear. Edmund balked at her tone saying and standing his ground he firmly said "We both know this is not practical or proper for either of us considering our past. You are after all a married woman and having a single man in your care whilst your husband is away…” Anna shut her eyes cringing inwardly at his logic shoving the chair back she blurted out “To hell with what is proper!” taking Edmund aback. “You are in need of care. You cannot take care of yourself and what others think of me staying in a house whilst taking care of you or anyone else for that matter…well it is none of their damn business!” She said angrily brushing back fly away hairs as she spoke, her face reddening as the anger began building up inside. Edmund felt flushed and he staggered a bit, looking weak and she noted he was turning a even more deathly shade of pale. Reaching out to assist him he jerked away refusing her attempt trying desperately not to lose his balance or pass out. Grabbing the chair between them as if his life depended on it he stood there with her eyes locked with hers in a battle of wills. Annoyed she stepped back raising her voice out of sheer exhaustion and anger “Fine! Do whatever you feel is best. I'm not fighting you over this. Let your stubborn pride get in the way of you healing properly” she heard herself saying as she swallowed the bile from the emotions she tried to hide in her anger. Taken aback by her outburst he became more vexed with each word from Anna and determined to do just that, he attempted to step around her towards the food she had mentioned earlier. There was fresh bread and what appeared to be a pot of stew. She moved out of his way to let him pass not realizing his pale color was part of the reason he seemed to be weakening as he moved, his knees began to buckle as the room spun. This causing him to feel very nauseated as he tried to move past her to get to the food. He felt the room lurch before him and suddenly he felt his body falling towards her. 

Caught by surprise, she gasped instinctively reaching out to catch him. Unable to stop the fall completely, she was only able to protect him from falling flat on his face. Her movements not quite quick enough however as her body took the brunt of the fall both landing on the hard wooden floor with Edmund groaning loudly in pain as his left shoulder was jarred just before most of his body rolled onto hers landing dead weight passing out on top of her. 

Anna felt the wind being knocked out of her as they landed. A few seconds passed before she realized he was passed out. Turning her head to access the situation, she pondered how to get him off of her without hurting him more. Deciding it was best to bring him to consciousness she reached her hand up to start lightly patting his face “Edmund…Edmund…” she said frantically as she began patting harder noting how hot his face felt beneath her hands. “Of God you're very hot to the touch.” she said out loud to no one in particular “the doctor warned me this could happen a few days after a broken bone”. The anxiety rising inside her chest, she managed to roll him off of her and onto his back. Scrambling onto her feet she quickly found some cloth she had ripped for bandages, and wet one with cold water kneeling beside him hoping to bring him around. “Come on Edmund!” she said frantically. He wasn't responding “Please please” her voice cracking “you cannot do this to me” she continued “Please Edmund!” she could feel her face wet with tears “Edmund, come on, wake up! God, I can't lose you this way” she heard herself saying sniffling. She reached over to the basin again wetting the rag and continued to put it to his face “I'm sorry Edmund, I'm sorry I hurt you… please, I didn't mean for this to happen this way. Oh God! Wake up Edmund please….” she begged continuing to stroke his face. Suddenly Edmund’s eyes started fluttering and he moaned softly lifting his hand to his eyes blocking the light coming through the window of the room. He heard a voice call him from the darkness “Edmund, oh Edmund are you alright?” the voice asked softly. He turned his head towards the voice slowly opening his eyes to look into the eyes of Anna, a beautiful smiling angel with huge tears lingering on her eyelashes looking down at him. “Anna?” He whispered “where…what happened?” She sniffed almost laughing as she began wiping tears with the back of her shaking hand. “You passed out” she said “you are burning up with fever Edmund. We need to get you back to bed. I need to fetch the doctor.” 

Edmund couldn't remember anything. His head was throbbing and the pain in his shoulder was unbearable. His body shook violently from the chill in the room but Anna’s body was generating a warmth he was drawn to. Her suggestion of getting back in bed sounded welcoming he thought. Trying to sit up, his shoulder reminded him how hurt he was as he flinched in pain. Anna’s arms slid around him as she gently pulled him upright. Getting to her feet, she helped him up onto his two feet. Once upright he felt his whole body shaking again from fever. Feeling weaker he tried in vain to walk on his own not wanting to burden her but his knees kept giving way “whoa, okay okay,” he heard her say as she put her arms around his middle forcing his right arm around her shoulder. She looked up at him and then said gently “let us take this one step at a time shall we?” She moved slowly pulling him with her with each step she took and together they made their way towards the front of the house to the stairway. In the small foyer, she stopped allowing him to rest. He still felt so weak and could tell he was burning with fever. He surprised her when he laid his head on her shoulder closing his eyes as she began navigating them up the stairs. She spoke softly to him as they took one step at a time, his body leaning almost completely on hers to help him move. At the top of the landing his body began to go limp again as she steadied him by pivoting his body to go into the room he was occupying. A few steps to the bed and she was able to maneuver him into it without completely falling on top of him. As her body brushed against his he pulled her tighter in his delirium murmuring “don't go, An…please I need..please I lo…please don't …” his breathing rapid, desperation in his voice. She froze as the words came out and sighed closing her eyes laying her head against his “Shhh. It's okay I'm not going anywhere.” In his delirium he seemed to calm at her words and she held her head there for just a few moments as he relaxed laying his head back on the feather pillow pulling her to him in a hug. She didn't fight it. She felt herself relax in his arms as relief came over her that he was safely back in bed. A few moments passed and in his slumber he loosened his arms allowing her the freedom to crawl over him to his right side curled up beside him. Looking up she shook her head, tears of relief beginning to form. She pulled up the quilt and secured it around him to ward off the cold of the room. The fire had long been out and the coldness of the room sent a shiver through her body. She lay there contemplating what she should do now. Edmund seemed to finally be resting. She had to admit lying there beside him in the bed felt so inviting. She relaxed a bit and laid her weary head back on the pillow just for a few moments she told herself as her thoughts went back to the emotions she had rediscovered while he was passed out. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle everything ahead for them in his recovery. For now, it just felt nice to be physically close to him again. She had missed him so...that time with him all those years ago had been the one time ever in her life she felt completely loved and worthy of being loved. She thought of how carefully he held her as if she were fragile after their exploring and love making. She still got excited thinking of the way he looked at her body as he explored it and brought her to heights of ecstasy. There were times since when alone at night in her room she woke up sweat drenched feeling sticky between her legs as the memory of Edmund making love to her haunted her dreams. Taking deep breathes she calmed the thoughts rushing through her mind, instead she embraced the quietness of the room with just the two of them lying beside each other as their defenses were laid bare. His from the injury and now the fever and hers from all the guilt and emotions she had suppressed since he returned. Anna couldn't fight it any longer as her mind gave into the peaceful existence of the room. She felt his closeness and it warmed her as she closed her eyes as a peace came over her. She felt calm, lying there, slowing her body and allowing her mind to rest, just for this one last time as she fell into a deep slumber lying beside Edmund.


	13. Awakenings

He woke with a start. Covered in sweat, he tried to figure out where he was exactly in the pitch darkness of the room. It all came back to him. His last real memory was arguing with a defiant Anna most of what happened next was still fuzzy. He recalled Anna assisting him as he made his way up the stairs as guiding his limp body. After that, he couldn't remember anything else. The day turning into night while he slept. 

Now as he laid in the bed, he felt very hot under the covers and his clothing seemed to be clinging to him from sweat. His only conclusion was that he had broken a fever. He vaguely remembered Anna telling him he had a fever and needed to be in bed. That must have been when she got him up the stairs and back in his bed. He tried to throw the covers off of him to get some relief but was blocked by something, or rather someone to his right side in his bed. Perplexed Edmund attempted to get his eyes acclimated to small bit of light in the room. He tried to process why another human would be in bed with him. His head still feeling fuzzy and the dull headache did not help either. Turning his head, he saw the reason he could not move the covers off of himself. Lying there basked in the moonlight coming through the window was Anna. She was sound asleep beside him fully dressed, lying on top of the bed covers curled into his body trying to stay warm. All of his defenses suddenly down at the sight of her, he guiltily thought back to their argument earlier in the kitchen. He looked at her as she slept fitfully because of the cold room realizing she must be freezing, as the fire had probably long gone out. He attempted to pull the quilt from around him to place on her but he soon realized he would have to physically get out of the bed to wrangle free of the covers. He managed to get himself slowly out of the bed without waking her. Taking the quilt that was once his burden, he placed it over her shivering body, smiling to himself as she burrowed beneath it sleeping peacefully. His head still hurting, the shoulder pain still there, he tried to figure out the best way to handle this situation so that neither of them would feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. He must owe her that much he thought. He made his way over to the window looking out trying to figure out the time. Judging by what he could see below in the street, he deduced it must be past midnight from the lack of movement outside. Based on his recollection of the time of his expedition to the kitchen earlier that would mean they had both probably been asleep at least six hours or more. He was still so tired he thought and wearily he padded back over to his now occupied bed. Deciding he should play this off by feigning ignorance of her night asleep in his bed, he crept back in trying hard not to groan from the sharp pains with the movement to his shoulder. Once securely in the bed and lying on his back, he put his right arm up over his forehead to think about the occurrences of the past three days since the accident. This movement caused Anna to stir and he froze in fear of being found out. Instead Anna sighed in her sleep as she moved closer to his body murmuring his name softly in her sleep. He laid there feeling a unexpected warmth in his heart. She continued to snuggle against him and oddly it brought him comfort lying there beside her. Moments later in the darkened room, Anna's body against his, he stopped fighting if only for a few moments the feelings he had for her and just let what was happening between them hapoen as the sounds of her breathing lulled him back into a deep sleep. 

Hours later as the morning light came through the window waking him slowly from a deep slumber he had been caught between a fantasy world of dreams of Anna looking up at him, smiling, her hair spread across the pillow. This dream felt so real that Edmund didn't want to open his eyes. Lying there eyes still shut, his thoughts went back to smiling happy loving Anna in the dream as he held her in his bed. Edmund felt rested for the first time since he had been injured. As his mind awakened to a new day, the light peeking through, he realized it was just now after dawn. Remembering now, what he had awoken to just hours earlier, he turned his head to his right side his heart beating fast in his chest to see his beautiful Anna. His heart sank seeing the spot beside him in his bed empty. She was gone. Gone from his dream and gone from his bed. He questioned himself. Maybe his mind had been playing tricks on him earlier he thought. She had been real lying there last night had she not? His mind questioning his sanity, he was feeling confused with his emotions suddenly all over the place. 

Outside his door, he heard her moving in the hall as she approached his room. As he brought himseld back to his reality, she came into the room with a tray of food and what appeared to be a pot of hot tea. “Good morning” she said softly almost hesitant in her greeting and not making eye contact. Edmund still dressed in his clothes from the day before positioned himself in the bed to an upright position flinching at the pain in his shoulder stiff from lying in the bed all night. “Good Morning” he replied feeling very unsure of how to react to her. She looked rested he noted to himself and she smelled freshly bathed the sweet scent of soap waifing in with her as she entered. He noted her hair freshly groomed, she wore a plain red dress accompanied with a freshly starched white apron. Edmund felt his composure softening at the vision before him. Anna stopped long enough to speak but still not making eye contact she said “well…" clearing her throat "you look better…that is since…our last encounter” He nodded “Yes I feel better I'll admit. It seems I must have broken a fever sometime while I was asleep." Taking a deep breath he continued "I woke up covered in sweat in the middle of the night.” he replied seeing how she would react or if she would acknowledge that she had indeed spent the night asleep on his bed. Anna didn't flinch. Her years as a spy apparently trained well her ability to retain her composure. She didn't react to his comment at all instead overlooking what he said by simply raising her eyebrows in acknowledgment nodding towards him as she made her way around the room setting the tray on the table. There she began preparing a cup of tea just like he liked it when they were in Setauket. Without missing a beat she replied “Yes you were burning up with fever when you woke from fainting yesterday. That is one of the reasons I stayed with you last night…” stopping short from saying any thing more. 

Finding her actions somewhat amusing, Edmund gave her a quizzical look noting Anna suddenly seemed to be very uncomfortable discussing what had or not happened between them the night before. “I see” he mused then sighing he said “well I guess I am again indebted to you Madam and your excellent care" bowing his head from his seated position in the bed. Anna’s fingers trembled as she handled the china cup, slowly turning to hand it to him. Looking up at her, his eyes twinkling as he spoke “thank you” he said softly his hand accidentally touching hers when she passed the cup to him. This caused her to avert her eyes straightaway from him as a blush came over her face. She turned back to cutting up the ham and cornbread on his plate. Robert had generously sent it over from the tavern to help her out. As Anna composed herself fiddling with his food, her back turned to him, he tried to make light conversation as he commented how good it was to have a good cup of tea again. She bit her lip as her eyes widened with confusion at the change in his demeanor. Clearing her throat again and turning back to him to hand him his food she smiled briefly saying “We aim to please”. As he reached for the plate he seemed to be in danger of dropping it with only one good hand trying to maneuver the teacup by putting it down before reaching for the plate. Seeing the possibility of a catastrophe she moved quickly trying to keep him from being burned just as he was able to secure the teacup on the table beside the bed. His sudden turn back to retrieve the plate caused his good hand to collide with the china plate catching her by off guard causing her to lose her balance and clumsily tumble towards where he sat up in the bed. She was able to prevent the plate from falling but it was Edmund's quick reflexes that kept her from falling further as his free hand managed to find her waistline to prevent a possible mishap. He broke her fall but her nerves on edge she jumped back as if she was burned by his touch. Her radical reaction caused his tone to change as he looked her deep in the eyes whispering “Anna” trying to assuage the awkwardness between them. He wanted to say something about knowing she had fallen asleep from pure exhaustion in his bed and that he understood. He wanted to say it was alright but most of all he wanted to say he was sorry but the words would not follow. Instead he noted the look of defiance as she stood up straightening her apron smoothing out non existent wrinkles and spoke. “I hope you will find the food cut up to your liking.” Wringing her hands she continued, “I wanted to make it easier for you with the one arm.” she rambled on “and you should be able to reach your cup of tea…so if there is nothing else you need at this moment… she stammered “ I uh have some things I need to attend to downstairs.” Edmund went to speak but stopped short, instead he took a deep breath he simple shook his head. She looked at him briefly before adding “So should you need anything further, call out for me. If not I shall be back up when it's time to serve your midday meal.” Feeling very uncomfortable, the tension between them high, she bit her bottom lip turning to flee the room as quickly as she could before it became obvious of the uncomfortable situation from the night before. 

She reached the kitchen quicker than she realized she could. Nervously running her hand over her hair, she stepped over to the kettle to remove it from the fire as she proceeded to pour herself a cup of tea and sit down at the table. She had the task of doing paperwork laid out before her. Not only did Robert send the food over to help her, he also sent the paperwork from the last couple days of business. With so much going on with Edmund's care, this part of her life had been neglected. She didn't mind really having the ledgers to keep her mind off of the present situation. She missed Orion so much but knew that Samuel having Orion with him was one less thing she needed to deal with in her responsibilities. She wanted to stay on top of their business affairs however so she had planned her day to work on the ledgers this morning while Edmund rested. Later in the day she was expecting the man she had hired, Mr. Finnigan to come to help her with Edmund and get him sitting up as the doctor ordered. While Mr. Finnigan did other chores like chopping wood for the fires and other odd jobs needing to be done in Samuel's absence, she would then get the ledgers ready to send back to Robert by messenger. 

Sitting down to sip the warm tea, her mind wandered back to earlier that morning waking beside of Edmund before the sun had risen. Although discombobulated when she first awoke it took her a moment to realize exactly where she was. Admittedly the sleep had eased her nerves from the excitement of the past three days and she felt rested. When she opened her eyes in his bed, lying under a quilt, nuzzled beside a sleeping Edmund, she panicked. Not exactly sure how she had ended up with the quilt over her and not Edmund, she laid there listening to the sounds a house makes in the darkness as relief flooded over her hearing his soft snores. Lifting herself gingerly she did not want to wake him because this was not something she felt she could explain easily. She reached over lightly touching his skin noting the coolness indicating that his fever had broken. She moved from bed without making a sound as he winced in his sleep from the movement of the shifting mattress likely jarring his broken collarbone. Holding her breath hoping that the movement would not wake him, she stood there for a few seconds before placing the quilt back on him before quickly leaving the room. 

Crossing the hallway to her room she shut the door for privacy. Once inside the room she recalled she had felt like a caged animal her heart pounding fiercely in her chest. Aggravated she began taking her hair down, then began working at the laces of her dress, the undergarments and stockings and finally she was able to free herself of her captivity. Minutes later, she stood there naked with the coldness of the room waking her senses. She had worn those clothes for three consecutive days and felt every emotion that had surfaced since encountering Edmund still lingering on the clothes. She had felt like her emotions were smothering her. She searched around the room and found her dressing gown pulling it over her head as she crawled into the unoccupied bed as her heart was still beating fast from waking up in Edmund’s bed. She had laid there very still as she hovered under the covers collecting her thoughts and facing her feelings. She was so confused at what was happening with Edmund's return. Suddenly she was not capable of being around Edmund without feeling rattled. After lying there for a while, she forced herself up, making herself get out of the bed. Padding down the stairs in her bare feet, she entered the kitchen lighting a lantern as she pulled out the wash tub. She started a new fire to boil water to bathe. Dawn still had not broke and it was still very early in the morning. She knew it would be awhile before Edmund woke up and she needed to get his breakfast to him. As she soaked in the tub a good while, her muscles tired from the past three days, she scrubbed her skin pink, later soaping her hair and giving it a good rinsing. She then put on a fresh clean dress and starched apron, pinned her hair back up after it dried and felt she was able to face whatever came her way when she encountered Edmund again. 

Her tea finished, her thoughts back to the ledgers before her, she looked forward to occupying her mind calculating the numbers of the tavern’s business. Robert had sent word he would send someone later in the afternoon to pick up her work. She knew that if she had no interruption she could get the task done in time for the messenger’s pick up. The mid morning sun shining in the window she knew soon she would have to get laundry done and get Edmund ready for Mr. Finnigan. Edmund had proven he could move around by himself but as she entered the room earlier, she decided Mr. Finnigan could help her with a more delicate matters. Today Anna decided, Edmund would be getting a shave and a bath whether he liked it or not. She had a feeling she had a fight on her hands but this was a fight she intended on winning.


	14. Awashed in Feelings

The bookkeeping and ledgers finished Anna tied them up in the leather binder Robert always carried paperwork in. She put the binder on the table for the messenger to pick up later in the day. Mr. Finnigan arrived just as she was finishing and together they went over their patient’s care plan for the day. Anna explained to him that while Mr. Hewlett was sitting up, preferably with a book to read, she would need his assistance in getting the tub upstairs and offered to pay an assistant to help him with the load. Mr. Finnigan assured her he could get help with the tub but he wasn't sure how the patient would react to her plan since he had already made it clear he did not need anyone bathing him. Anna tsked the comment and let Mr. Finnigan know that she would take care of Mr. Hewlett’s outlook and that she had been known to be very persuasive at times. She assured him that he would just need to be ready with a helper directly after 2 o’clock to get the tub moved and the hot water brought up. Mr Finnigan nervously nodded his head and with a cautious smile, let the determined young woman know she could count on his help. 

He went upstairs with her and together she and Mr. Finnigan assisted Edmund to sit up propped up with pillows and a book. He was to be repositioned every thirty minutes so Anna made sure Edmund had plenty to occupy his mind. She borrowed books from Robert for him to read. Other than the constant movement every 30 minutes for 2 hours Edmund seemed comfortable and only grumbled a few times. 

At the end of the two hours, Anna found herself alone with Edmund as Mr. Finnigan had gone to fetch the tub for his bath. Clearing the dishes from the morning meal, she began setting out what would be needed to assist Edmund with his grooming. When she unpacked his trunk, she found a leather shaving strap, a horsehair shaving brush and a pocket comb. Edmund still having his nose in the book had not even paid attention to what was occupying her time. She stepped out of the room to her room where she located the most important item for the task, the braies she had sewn out of linen. She had recently heard that Thomas Jefferson fancied them and had began making a pair for Edmund on the first day he had refused a bath. They were like breeches but only came mid thigh and made of linen cloth she had in her scrap pile for quilting. She knew that he would be able to wear while submerged in the tub and most importantly it would protect his modesty. Now to convince him to put them on and actually get a bath and shave she planned her strategy as she walked back across the hallway, bracing herself for the conversation ahead as she entered into his room.

Edmund looked up from the book of poetry he was reading. Smiling tentatively at her, she nodded her head in acknowledgment, “are you alright?” She inquired standing in front of the bed. Lifting his eyebrows nodding as he closed the book focusing on her. “Yes quite alright” he said in a cheerier tone “I must admit however I am rather tired. One doesn't think such a little activity would tire you out but here we are.” he said. Anna smiled sweetly back at him which put Edmund off at the change in her countenance from their early morning encounter “Yes…” she paused pursing her lips before speaking “I imagine it would be rather tiring considering how badly you've been injured and how much time you have had to spend lying in a bed. I am sure your muscles are very tired from it." Edmund nodded again reaching over to put the book on the table beside the bed as he inquired “so will our Mr. Finnigan be coming by for this last turn?” Anna raised her eyebrows speaking “yes he should be here very soon.” Edmund nodded “good because I must admit I feel very worn out and in need of a nap” smiling he added “I do hope I sleep as well as I did last night…it seems I felt more rested when I awoke.” Anna bristled at his comment but never let it deter her reason for being there. 

Smiling again, she stepped forward to him and leaned over the bed where he was propped up, the neckline of her dress gaping just enough to make it hard for him to avert his eyes from her beautiful neckline and chest. Looking up from where he sat into her beautiful eyes he suddenly felt very hot and bothered by her closeness. Reaching for his right hand, she never looked away as she turned his hand, squeezing it gently as she pressed something into his palm. He blinked at her confused as she whispered very intimately to him “this should help make you feel better and lead to a good night’s rest” while holding her hand over his as he looked to see what she had put in his hand. It appeared to be a garment made of linen. Confused he said “What is….” he stammered his face feeling hot from the proximity of her face to so close to his “I am sorry but I am not familiar with this type of garment… I am afraid I don't.. see how this will help me he began to stammer more. Much to his relief, she stood up distancing herself finally from him “Oh I am sure you do not as I have only recently heard of it myself. However I am of good understanding that it will be ideal for your recovery while here.” she smiled smugly before stepping back from the bed. Trying to compose himself he looked at it again still not sure what he was holding and raising an eyebrow Edmund questioned “I am not sure exactly how a pair of linen for lack of a better word…breeches…will aid in my recovery.” Anna started to respond but heard Mr. Finnigan and his helped carrying the tub up the stairs. “Ah!” She smiled broadly rushing to the door of the room to make sure it could be brought in easily. “Here we are gentlemen” she chirped enthusiastically as she pointed across the room “If you could place it there, close to the fire, our patient will not catch a chill after his bath.” With that Mr Finnigan and a man Edmund had never seen came into the room dragging a big copper tub into Edmund’s room dropping it with a loud thunk. 

Edmund’s eyes grew wide and realization cross his face that these men were there to bathe him or at least help him to bathe. Immediately he looked at Anna saying almost jokingly “Absolutely not!” chuckling nervously. Determined she replied “Yes” pointing to the garment in Edmund's ands “I will leave the room, you will put that on for modesty sake and Mr. Finnigan and…I am sorry sir I did not catch your name?” she said smiking her sweetest smile to the tall gangly man. Clearing his throat and shuffling his feet when she spoke he replied “My name is Denny Welch Ma’am” to which Anna turned on the charms “Mr. Finnigan and Mr. Welch here will help you in the tub and leave you to bathe while I feed them a late lunch." She said matter of factly, and turning back to the men she continued "Does that sound alright gentlemen?” Both men nodded in agreement, the latter blushing a bit from her charms. Irritated Edmund defiantly said “No. I'm sorry but I'm not putting on these, these...linen breeches and letting these gentlemen place me in a tub like a mere child.” He said with a very cross look on his face. Stubbornly he said “I'll just wait a wee bit longer until I'm strong enough. In the meantime Madam you could please bring me a basin and water and I can wash up that way.” Shaking her head Anna crossed her arms and stated very firmly as if speaking to her son “I'm so sorry but today is wash day. I need to strip your bed. You are in need of a bath and a shave so this will kill two birds with one stone or so to speak.” She smiled tightly at him. “Once you're in, I can strip the bed and make it up with fresh bedclothes." Aggrieved he crossed his arms causing her to almost burst into a laugh as he currently looked a lot like his son when he was not getting his way. Raising her chin and smiling broadly she said to the men watching the heated discussion. “I will leave you gentlemen alone to help Mr. Hewlett get into his bath. Mr. Finnigan please make sure the soap and shaving items are close enough for him so that he can give himself a proper grooming.” Looking over her shoulder at a still pouting Edmund she said “I will have your meal ready for you once he is safely in the tub.” and then directly to Edmund she said “I hope the soap is to your liking. I made it myself and find it has a very clean scent to it” to which she turned still smiling and walked out of the room shutting the door behind her. Edmund let out an exasperated groan as Anna burst into giggles behind the closed door.


	15. Emotions Resurfaced

Anna busied herself downstairs occasionally walking from the kitchen to the bottom of the stairs as she tried to listen to what was going on upstairs, occasionally hearing Edmund curse, Mr. Finnigan and Denny groaning or apologizing for jarring his shoulder as they helped him into the tub. Finally silence and then a few moments passed and she she heard Mr. Finnigan “Okay sir, you get on with your business. We are gonna head on downstairs to eat. That food is calling me” he said “my missus is a hard working woman but she can't hold a candle to Miss Anna’s cooking." She heard him laugh nervously before adding "We will leave you to your privacy. The bell is right beside the tub. Just give us a ring if you need anything!” He said closing the door behind him. Edmund murmured something unrecognizable as the two men came down the stairs. She quickly made her way back to the kitchen frantically looking around to appear busy picking up the ladle as she started fixing their plates. They entered the kitchen as she turned smiling widely asking innocently "Well gentlemen how's our patient?” Mr. Finnigan smirked a before he replied “Well he's none too happy now Miss but I reckon he will be once a good soak help his aches and pains.” Anna smile again replying “Good, yes he was a bit disgruntled with me was he not?" she suggested nervously "I am sure Mr. Hewlett is not used to being commanded after all those years as the Major over the garrison in Setauket.” Mr Finnigan nodded. “So let me get you gentlemen fed.” She continued fixing their plates to which Denny shyly replied “oh no thank you Miss, it's getting late and I need to get over to the mercantile for me second job." he shuffled his feet as he talked "Don't want to give Mr. Miller a reason to cut me wages!” He then smiled a big lopsided grin. Anna turned to him saying “well I cannot have you going to your other job without thanking you properly. I am sure Mr. Finnigan paid you already.” the man nodded happily “yes Miss it was mighty generous for such little work.” Anna moved to over to the work table she used to prepare food and pulled out a pail, a linen towel and began fixing him a meal. After packing the pail, she handed it to him and said “Again I thank you for helping Mr. Finnigan with Mr. Hewlett. Will you be able to come back in the morning to help him bring the tub back down stairs?” He smiled and nodded “Yes Miss, I'll be here around mid-morning if that suits Mr. Finnigan”. Mr. Finnigan sipping his coffee nodded “Yes I should be here around 10 after I make my rounds with the doc. He's been very busy of late with several folks sick with lung fever and he himself has not been feeling well. So, if I am not here right at that time hang around a bit I'll be round as soon as I can get away.” Denny nodded and thanked Anna for the food, blushing at her kindness and then left for his second job. 

Anna turned to Mr. Finnigan who had already seated himself at the table and begun eating. Over the past couple days, she and Mr. Finnigan would usually drink a cup of coffee after his chores helping her with Edmund. Sometimes, if she had enough food which usually she did because until today Edmund had hardly eaten at all, she would send some of the food to his family. Mr. Finnigan was not a very tall man, just a few inches taller than herself. He was about 50 and in their conversations, she knew he had a wife and four daughters. He had trained after joining the war to be a doctor's helper on the fields. He had done that for about four years before getting shot in the leg. He walked with a small limp but other than that, he was a healthy man who loved his family and now since the war found himself very busy working for the local doctor. She must admit he had been a Godsend with Edmund and if for no other reason it gave her someone to talk to. They talked for awhile and she fixed a box of shortbread for him to take home to his family. As they discussed the next day’s care plan for their patient, they were interrupted by a frantic loud knock on the back door. Anna got up to open the door to find a young boy named Levi that she knew from dealing with the doctor. He took his cap off “Sorry Miss! The doc sent me to fetch Mr. Finnigan. He says he's got an emergency and in a bad way, says he ain't got enough hands there's been so many folks come in with some kind of ailment.” Breathing heavy he tried to catch his breath before continuing “The doc said he needs ya right now. He's been coughing himself and doesn't look very well if you ask me!” Anna turned to Mr Finnigan “You must go now Mr. Finnigan. The doctor might need you more if he's feeling poorly.” Mr Finnigan looked at the boy saying “tell the doc I'm headed by over after I finish here” to which the boy shook his head “No Sir I'm to fetch you right away.! The doc said now he ain't got time to waste” Mr. Finnigan rubbed his thick hands over his face with a worried scowl looking at Anna “Well Miss, I can't just leave you when we need to get the major out of the tub first. Miss Anna...with the major in the state of undress...It ain't proper.” he stammered on. Biting her lip nervously she tried to remain calm putting up her hand up “No No Mr. Finnigan, you go on. Sounds like the doctor is in a bad way, I'll get someone to help me” she smiled assuredly. “Are you sure?” He replied Anna smiled her most assured smile “Of course, it's not my first time me taking care of sick. As you know we have similar experiences with wounded soldiers not too long ago. I am sure I can handle Major Hewlett” Taking on last gulp of coffee, he turned putting on his hat, and walking out the door he called back “I will be back as soon as I can” to which Anna smiled more confidently than she felt. As Mr. Finnigan and Levi left, she turned to the empty kitchen and rubbing her hand over the always wayward curl, took a deep breath and closed her eyes wondering exactly what she was going to do now. Edmund’s bathwater would be getting colder and he would surely be finished bathing by now, she thought worriedly to herself. She was pretty sure he was probably still miffed with her and he would be expecting the two men to be up any moment to help get him out of the tub and situated where he could dry off and get into clean clothes and back into his bed. She still had to make the bed and it would mean sitting him in the chair by the fire so he could warm up until she was finished. 

Eyes wide, and blowing out a long breath she jumped at the ringing of the bell and his now familiar voice bellowing “Finnigan my man, if you please sir, I'm pruning up in this damn tub. The chilly water is going to be the death of me!” Anna closed her eyes saying a quick prayer and turned to go up the stairs to deal with Edmund and hoping she could get him out of the tub and save both of them any embarrassment.

She climbed the stairs slowly trying to quickly think of how she would explain to him, she would have to get him out. She felt herself blushing thinking of the last time she had seen Edmund without clothes and it was a much different situation. The heat in her face moving down her neck and chest, she nervously wiped her hands on the apron. Knocking on the door to his room, she heard “yes come in I'm starting to get quite chilled and my shoulder is aching.” Taking a breath, she stepped into the room closing the door behind her noting Edmund ‘s bare back making her feel more flushed. Finally speaking after clearing her throat nervously “Edmund it is me” the sound of her voice causing him to jolt upright straighter in the tub. “I am sorry I did not mean to startle you or make you uncomfortable but.. “ He cut her off mid sentence trying not to show his uneasiness “Anna? What are you...Where is Finnigan?!” he snapped “I thought you were going to wait until he got me back in the chair before you came in to strip the bed.” Becoming more and more agitated as he spoke, he looked at her over his shoulder flinching from the pain. She swallowed the dry lump in her throat croaking out “yes yes I am sorry that was the original plan but…”she rambled on speaking quickly trying to avoid his eyes “you see Mr Finnigan got called away by the doctor who has taken ill all whilst dealing with a small break out of very sick people…so you see, it couldn't be helped” she heard herself saying with an embarrassed laugh. Edmund turned his face away from her, feeling more and more uncomfortable as the seconds passed agonizingly by. “What happened to Denny?” he asked trying not to sound panicked. Here he was naked minus a very thin pair of linen short breeches in a tub that he couldn't physically get himself out of because of his shoulder and he's starting to feel very anxious. Another awkward pause from her before she spoke “Denny left right after he came downstairs. He had to get to his job.” she managed without sounding too desperate “I'm sorry but there is only me here so it looks like I must help you out of the tub.” Closing his eyes tightly he cringed inwardly “This is not possibly happening!” He half sneered half laughed. Anna stepped around the tub to face him before she spoke trying to sound confident “I understand this is uncommon and it puts us both in a predicament that is making us most uncomfortable but before you catch your death from sitting in cold bath water we do not have much of a choice but to work together to get you out of the tub and dressed and in front of the warm fire.” She walked to the fire stoking it, putting another log on to it to warm up the room more. 

Edmund followed her with his eyes and when she turned back to face him their eyes met. For a brief moment they both seemed at a loss for words. Frustrated he breathed out hard before speaking “Well this is…this is…quite improper.” He said sounding very much like the Major of the garrison again. If it wasn't such an uncomfortable situation, Anna might would have laughed at the situation but now it was just heavy tension.Sitting up as straight as possible with all the dignity he had left, he stated “Madam, if you please could just leave the room, I will figure out a way to get myself out…” Anna put her hand up “Edmund really. Just let me help…” his temper getting the best of him he snapped before he could stop “NO!” he said voice raised quite determined “Madam I insist that you leave the room and give me time to get myself out.” he continued “I have found myself in much worse predicaments so this shall be more troublesome than risky.” 

To show her, he tried to lift his body up out of the tub, putting his weight on his right hand and arm. Raising up a bit in the tub, he twisted his left side trying to gain momentum determined to show her he could do it without her help. Just as he went to push more, his right arm slipped causing him to splash water making it very slippery as he fell back into the tub, pain shooting across his face as he dealt with the sudden shot of pain throughout his left shoulder. Instantly her instincts kicked in and Anna reached over to steady him so the shoulder wound not take anymore blows. She happened to reach out just as he slipped, the situation becoming more dire when the cold water splashed up on the front of her dress and face causing her to gasp just as she lost her balance and fell forward onto Edmund. Her sudden weight against him caused him to fall back against the tub as he tried not to yelp from the sharp pain radiating through his shoulder while keeping her from falling in completely. He heard her say “Oh” as she fell. The next thing he knew, she was against his chest one hand caught behind his neck, her face very near his all whilst her other hand had fallen into the tub as she tried to break her fall was now was very obviously between his legs. She wriggled frantically trying to get up as gracefully as possible mumbling an apology all whilst turning a bright shade of red. 

Edmund was well aware that Anna was as uncomfortable and embarrassed as he was and that her hand was very close to an area that would start reacting if he couldn't get her off of him soon. As she moved her hand out from between his legs, he took an inward sigh of relief, while she found her footing enabling her to stand erect. Her hair damp, her face still flushed with color, a defiant look came over her. “As you can see Edmund…” she said clearing her throat making sure not to make eye contact with him “you cannot do this without another human to pull you up. I am the only other person here so you are going to have to let me help you and swallow your damn foolish pride!” 

Suddenly at a loss for words, his emotions reeling from the way her body felt up against his just seconds before, all he could manage to do was nod to her as she stood over to him. She bent over bracing herself to take the majority of his weight to help him lift up. During her time as a camp follower, she had helped move injured men in worse shape than Edmund and some bigger. The difference this time was she usually had another person usually a male to do most of the grunt work. Shaking off the embarrassment of what had just happened between them, she gathered up the gumption and looking him directly in the eyes she spoke softly but firmly “now put your arm around my neck and your left arm arm here” she said placing his hand on her waist. He did just as she instructed him as she looked at him directly, saying “Now, on the count of three put all your weight on me as I pull you up” He went to protest but she shut him down immediately “Edmund…On the count of three. Do you hear me?” Closing his eyes, he nodded and she counted “1, 2,..” she focused on his face as she prepared herself “3” at which time he pulled up as she helped with the majority of his weight shifting to his right side, her left side, as she got him up to his feet while water poured off him splashing out of the tub. The cold water soaking the front of her dress more, she ignored it as she steadied him. Edmund looked pale but when she inquired if he was alright he could only nod quickly his limbs shaking unsteadily. “Now slowly step out onto the floor” she said to him as he lifted his right leg putting his foot on the floor before lifting his left leg to do the same. Both feet securely on the floor, his weight fully against her, she held onto him securely her hands warm against the chilled bare flesh on his back. He looked down shyly as she raised her face and their cheeks brushed lightly. He felt his breath catch and a warmth crept over his face slowly and now moving throughout his body. Aware that now she was shaking, he paused trying to catch his breath as his heart pounded faster in his chest. Speaking almost in a whisper he said “I ah…I think ah, I can manage from here…” he said, his voice husky now. Anna felt a chill run down her spine his warm breath brushing her face “okay if your quite sure.” she heard herself saying. Edmund stood very still as if he was scared to move “yes, uh thank you, yes quite…sure.” his voice faltering. Anna continued standing there unable to move overwhelmed with feelings. Edmund himself could not (or did not want to) move, he could not determine. They both stood there inches apart not really sure what to say or how to react to the feelings rushing over them. The room very quiet and she could feel his heart racing against her own racing heart. Suddenly, the reality of the coldness in the room began to deflect what was happening between them. Anna stepped back to put some much needed space between them and a grateful Edmund collected himself. Looking at him standing before her, his body wet, his hair slicked back, the linen pants clinging to him, she tried to remain calm although her heart was still racing. Suddenly she heard herself say a little louder than expected “Here” handing him a blanket to wrap around his body. Edmund blinked as if she had slapped him, took it and wrapping it over his shoulders, made his way to a chair by the fire. With his back to her, he let out a slow breath as she inquired “Can I get you some tea? After I get the bed linens off that is, I'll leave you to your privacy and you can put those clean dry clothes on. I can bring up some hot tea and that should warm you up nicely!” She rattled on rapidly trying to sound uneffected and a little too chipper she thought. Edmund looked up and half smiled “that would be nice” he said his voice suddenly smooth and warm. Anna fluttered around the room stripping the bed as she talked chattering away about nothing in particular just to keep the room from being so quiet between them. Edmund did not speak, he just sat there before the fire warming himself. Finally she finished taking the linens off and put fresh ones on complete with a new quilt. Bundling up the linens he had been sleeping on, she put them in a pile outside the door to his room. As she reached for the doorknob she tried to keep the tension between them on the low as she spoke “Now you go ahead and get changed. I will be back in a few moments with a cup of tea and some fresh shortbread I just made this morning. I hope you will find it to your liking.” Hurriedly she she closed the door behind her, stopping to lean against it, her heart still pounding she rolled her eyes out humiliation at what had just happened. On the other side of the door sat Edmund lost in his thoughts, confused about feelings he had long buried and not sure what had just happened.


	16. Determining the Future

The warm water washed over her body soothing achy muscles. Laying her head against the back of the tub, Anna closed her eyes as the past couple of days played out in her mind. It has been two days since the infamous bath situation with Edmund and she honestly still had not quite recovered. She thought of the events as the steam of the hot water waifed around her face as loose wayward hairs clung to the temples. After the past forty-eight hours, she had finally hit a wall mentally and emotionally. It wasn’t until Robert had found her asleep at the table in the kitchen that he insisted she needed to focus on her care and needs. Robert took it upon himself to arrange for Denny to come in a few hours over the past two days to help with Edmund’s care which allowed her time to rest. She still had nights by herself, still did all the cooking, cleaning and was still trying to keep the ledgers up daily. It was Robert who realized Anna was burning the candle at both ends looking worse for the wear. She didn't argue with him and took comfort that over the last days, Edmund had seemed stronger and healing better. She thought that he was however back to being very quiet again which normally would have caused her to worry but she herself was at a loss for words over what had happened between them. Confused, she welcomed the distance between them. 

She thought back to when she had taken the tea up after his bath, she had found him dressed in a clean linen shirt and a pair of his breeches. He would not make eye contact with her as she set the tea and shortbread out for him. He had eaten it readily but there was only awkward silence between them. She remembered wishing she could just rush out and not stay until he was finished. Edmund didn't even try to hold conversation with her, instead he had gone back to his bed directly afterwards as if she wasn't even in the room. She did not hear anything from him for the rest of the night. In fact, when she went back up the stairs later to offer him dinner, she decided not to wake him finding him sleeping as soundly as Orion had as a baby fresh out of a bath. 

In the tub, she washed her hair thinking back to the letter she had received earlier in the day from Samuel letting her know that her son was doing well. He was keeping Samuel’s elderly aunt and uncle entertained as they enjoyed Orion’s active imagination and stories of his adventures with his uncles. Samuel himself had been busier than he expected with the sales of their crops for the winter months. He was writing her to let her know that he was needed there for at least another week so the return trip back would be delayed a week and he hoped it was alright and that she understood. As much as she missed her sweet boy and ached to hold him, Anna knew that another week away meant less chance of Edmund discovering the truth. She was confident that Samuel was taking good care of Orion and that Orion was happy with Samuel on their adventure. In all honesty, one less person to be responsible for made the current situation better. The doctor had said about a month for Edmund’s recovery and they were now entering his second week. She was praying this would work itself out without anyone getting hurt. 

If truth be told, she herself was not feeling her best. She had felt achy and run down since the day after the men had brought the tub upstairs. Instead of getting them to take it back down, she had them move it across the hall into her room. After Robert found her asleep at the table and had happened upon Denny coming back from the doctor’s house where Mr. Finnigan had been for two days taking care of the doctor who was in bed himself with a fever and pleurisy. Robert had paid Denny generously to get the hot water up the stairs and into her room so she could prepare a tub to soak. He then made sure Edmund was helped with anything he physically needed and food brought up before he left to go to his job. 

The house very quiet as she soaked. She was pretty sure Edmund was probably napping after the meal of stewed potatoes and venison she had prepared earlier that day. Her head hurting and she was experiencing some stiffness in her neck, she took advantage of the warmth of the water to her aching body. All day she had been feeling lethargic and now had started a small persistent cough. She was sure she had probably been exposed of whatever the good doctor had taken to his bed over. She just needed to rest for a little while she thought and would feel better by daylight after a good night's sleep. Mr. Finnigan would be coming by later in the evening according to Robert. He had instructed her to take to her bed and let Mr. Finnigan take care of Edmund. Reluctantly she agreed, she remembered as she dried herself by the fire, patting her hair as it air dried. She slipped a nightgown on and although it was still daylight outside she turned down the covers, crawling into the bed as exhaustion set in. She thought the house was so quiet. The only sound she could hear was her teeth chattering because she was feeling chilled to the bone and pulling the covers up around her head to stay warm. She closed her eyes tightly trying to ward off the sudden onset of sickness hanging over her. Soon she fell into a deep sleep. 

A few hours later in the same house Edmund had been awake and sitting up in a chair by the fireplace in his room trying to read the same chapter of a book for over an hour. It was now way past dinner and although Mr. Finnigan had been kind enough to bring up a fresh tray of food and hot tea before he left, he wasn't very hungry. There had been no sign of Anna since yesterday evening. She had checked in on him late before turning in for the night. He responded to her inquiries about not needing anything else for the night and with her quick “sleep well if you need anything, I am just across from the hall” comment, she had disappeared behind the closing door. He had noticed her drawn face, the dark circles forming again and sensed her uncomfortableness. He wondered if she had finally given up on helping him after the past few days of practically no communication from him. He could not blame her. He knew his behavior was inexcusable after all she had done to get him better. He didn’t really understand why he was reacting to her the way he was. He just knew he had spent a good part of that night confused and angry at feelings that he had long thought buried all those years ago. Suddenly he was back at the same feelings of brokenness and despair thst he felt when he arrived home in Scotland. Those feelings angered him and instead of facing her, he chose not to allow himself to even acknowledge her presence. When she came into the room bringing food, inquiring of his pain, or just speaking with Mr. Finnigan as he changed bandages and wrapped his shoulder, he barely spoke to her. Edmund felt shame over his behavior. None of this was Anna’s fault but yet he treated her as if it all was. As he sat there affirming to himself what was going on he realized he needed to make things right with her, at least for this. Closing the book he looked around the darkened room. Standing he slowly made his way to a candle lighting it as he walked over to the mirror on top of the chest of drawers. His grooming kit was there and he began to comb his hair tying it back at his neck. He moved his hand over his face noticing he needed a shave. He poured the water out of the pitcher into a basin and washed his face before lathering it up to shave. After a few minutes, clean shaven and looking a bit more like himself, Edmund figured he could act more civil and not so malicious when he encountered Anna again. Stripping off the shirt he was wearing, he soaped up a cloth and washed up making him feel more normal. The water refreshing his senses, his thoughts went back to Anna and how her body felt against his just days before after his bath. He thought of her hands and how warm her touch felt on his back, the skin of her neck so soft when he placed his arm there, his hand on her waist as she pulled him to her, the flush of her body against his, her dress soaked and clinging to her from the splashed bath water. He let out a deep sigh at the thoughts of the closeness of her face as he felt the heat of her breath against his face. He thought of her scent. He had never forgotten Anna’s scent even after five years. That is what surprised him the most when he woke up to her beside his bed after the accident, her scent. That lovely fresh warm soft scent Anna always had. He thought back to Alice. Did she have a scent he wondered? He couldn’t recall. Had Alice’s scent ever stirred him like this? Why was he questioning himself and his relationship with Alice over a scent? He shook his head “Edmund" he said out loud, " You have gone positively mad during your confinement.” He laughed sarcastically “Alice is a good woman who you’ve learned to have affection for and this is silly.” He tried to convince himself. Whispering as if there was someone in the room to overhear him speak he said “Anna was never supposed to happen. She was the smart one. She knew it could not go further that’s why she left you. She had no affection for you.” He continued “what you have here is just the same as when you first met her....infatuation.” He continued whispering rather harshly to himself. “Quit acting foolish for God’s sake! She’s a married woman. There never was and still isn’t a place in her life for you.” He looked down from his image in the mirror, and grabbing a clean shirt from the chest of drawers, he pulled it over his head forcefully tucking it into his breeches, feeling more and more frustrated with each thought of Anna and not Alice. He was ashamed of the thoughts of Anna that ran through his mind. He should be thinking of Alice he thought to himself. He began to pace the room trying to get his thoughts together. He had to work this out and get this last encounter out of his system. He had to make an effort of civility towards Anna to be able to leave in good conscience. If nothing else, she deserved at least to shown appreciation and gratitude for all she had done to get him healthy and able to go back to Scotland and a life with Alice. If nothing else, she deserved to be able to go back to her life with her husband not affected by their chance encounter again. He also knew he had to pull himself together for the sake of his pride and her reputation. It was time to move back to the tavern and finish out his recovery there. He would seek her to show he’s strong enough to take care of himself. He would let her know he would be out of the house by tomorrow morning and then both of them could go on with their separate lives and this unfortunate encounter leaving them none the wiser. Edmund knew he must take the steps tonight to end what she had taken on. She owed him nothing and he owed her everything. He was determined now that he should relieve her of whatever responsibility she felt towards him so that she could finally be free of him and have the life with her husband that she deserved. Undaunted in the task at hand, he stepped towards the door of his room turning the handle to seek her out. Edmund was surprised to find the house covered in complete darkness and silent as a tomb. 

Returning to his room to light an oil lamp, he made his way down the stairs to find it as desolate as if no one had ever occupied it over the past two weeks. Confused as he made his way through the house, he wondered if perhaps she had had enough and just left. He couldn't blame her but knew that the Anna he knew was loyal to a fault. Going back up the stairs, he found himself at the door to the bedroom he knew she had been occupying. Knocking lightly on the door he said "Anna. Excuse me but I need to speak with you." There was no answer. There was no sound coming from her room. "Anna...please this is important" he said a little louder "It shan't take a moment". Still no answer. Impatient, he knocked again, then turned the handle to enter her room. The room dark, he tried to adjust his eyes using the light of the lamp. He saw a form lying in the bed across the room. The dark hair spread across the pillow indicated she was sound asleep. More determined now than ever he walked over to wake her up. This needed to be addressed sooner than later he thought. He whispered her name loudly "Anna. Wake up." She didn't move. Poor girl must be exhausted he thought to himself. "Anna I am sorry, but we need to talk...now" he said reaching down to shake her shoulder gently so not to startle her from her sleep. His fingers felt hot where he had touched her shoulder. Realization that she had not come into his room all day was probably because she was lying here in her room sick. From what he could determine, she was very ill and it suddenly occurred to him, he was all she had tonight to take care of her. Edmund knew he must leave her soon, in order to have some kind of chance at happiness away from her but tonight Anna needed him and he would not leave her.


	17. Brewing Up Love

She looked pale he thought as he looked at her lying there sick with her dark hair surrounding her face on the pillow. He thought she looked frail as he propped his arms on her bed where she laid studying her as she was sleeping fitfully from the fever. He felt so helpless sitting there trying not to panic as he gently stroked her head trying to make her comfortable. Speaking to her in barely a whisper he hoped it would soothe her as she rested and he determined what he should do. Having only discovered her sick, asleep in her bed, just moments before, he felt guilt ridden for not checking in with her earlier in the day. How long had she laid there sick? He wondered to himself. He knew he had to make this right and get her better. She at least deserved that he thought, after all the trouble she had gone through to ensure he was taken care of in his time of need. As he stroked her hair, he felt tears forming as he spoke “Anna you really need to wake up my dear. You have been asleep long enough. I need you to wake up and put me in my place.” He smiled reaching up to wipe at his eyes. She stirred at his words. As she responded to his voice he continued “Mrs Strong, people are depending on you. Come on, this is very important Madam. Can you wake up for me? If you do, I promise I will let you rest here and not be a burden. Yes, you heard that right, I am admitting I have been a burden, a real pillock or as you Americans like to say an idiot." Anna just laid there, no verbal response. Edmund became panicked as he realized that the doctor was unable to come due to his own illness. Mr. Finnigan had sent word through Denny that he would be around later the next day than usual and Denny himself was not scheduled to come by because Mr. Finnigan would be coming. Edmund knew he had the next 18 hours to himself therefore he had to act assertively before she took a turn for the worse. 

What to do, he thought. What did his mother do when he was a child with a fever? Edmund thought back to his childhood trying to remember. He looked down at a very sick and chilled Anna shivering beneath the covers even with the extra one he had placed on her. Pulling the covers more snug around her he moved over to the fireplace and began working on a fire to take the chill off the room. Once that got to going properly, he proceeded downstairs to the kitchen area of the house to try to find something to aid her. Hanging over the table where she prepared food were various dried herbs. Squinting in the darkening room, he lifted the lamp up to search finally finding what he needed. He then collected a cast iron pot and water pitcher to take upstairs. Lastly he gathered some rags and began making his way upstairs to start taking care of her. 

Entering the room he saw that she had rolled over to her back. Even pale and sick, her beauty took his breath away. He placed the supplies on the small table near the fireplace and began setting up to boil water for the tea. His mother had always used certain herbs for his childhood illnesses and he was grateful he could recall it now with Anna being so sick. In a small mortar he had found downstairs, he crushed the basil leaves with a pestle as fine as he could before putting it in the tea cup. He then took ginger cutting it into small thin pieces before adding it to the cup. As the water boiled he poured a bit of honey into the mixture before pouring it in to brew a tea concoction. He remembered being given this by his mother as a child after coming down with an unfortunate cold and fever. He let the herbal tea steep for a few minutes while he put the rags in the water basin filled with cold water he had placed by her bed. Wringing the rags out, he placed one on her forehead then dipping a second one and squeezing it out, he began unbuttoning her night gown opening the neckline to expose her upper chest placing the rag on it. She reacted with a small jerk to the coolness and he softly spoke “I am sorry my dear, I did not mean to startle you. This is just an attempt to help you feel better. You are very sick Anna. Will you let me try to help you?" he rambled "It is after all the least I can do to repay you." With her eyes still closed, Anna reacted to his voice lifting her eyebrows as if she wanted to open her eyes. Edmund smiled “There you are” causing her to reply to his voice, her eyes still shut “I was so...tired...just need a little sleep. I should be alright after I sleep." her voice hoarse and barely audible. Smiling at the brave, headstrong woman he had fallen in love with all those years ago, he continued applying the cool rags to her skin. He hoped this would help lower her temperature. Continuing he said “There this should help. You have given me quite a fright finding you lying in your bed looking so pale. Why you are as pale as a ghost and then to find you burning with fever…well… I must say Madam…quite a…” he finished mid sentence as Anna opened her eyes looking a bit confused at him “…was feeling achy…” she managed out “…you were resting…I did not wish to bother you." she whispered her throat dry “I do not mean to put you out Edmund…here let me…” she attempted to sit up but found herself unable to do so without falling back. Edmund steadied her with his hand “I am anything but put out Madam…” he said a little exasperated “Just please lie still and let's get this tea in you. It should help with the fever.” He said trying to not sound worried. Sitting the cup of tea on the small table by the bed before turning back to her, he noted she was having problems sitting up and looked as weak as a kitten. She had fallen back on the pillows barely able to lift her head. Sighing out loud with worry, Edmund sat on the bed beside her and very cautiously put his right arm around her midriff lifting her up enough to prop her with pillows. This aided his limited movement in getting the cup of tea to her lips. Offering her the cup, she held the cup shakily as Edmund steadied her hand as she took a few sips. “There, now that's a good lass.” he mimicked his best Scottish brogue “Yes drink a little more,…” he spoke softly to her “This is my mother’s home remedy for a fever” he continued nervously as she took another few sips. “I got very sick as a boy of 9 after I got caught in a winter storm with my horse. We got stuck in a field in the snow and the mud was up to my hips. Can you imagine the predicament I was in? Anyway" he babbled on "Thankfully my father and his stewart found us! Fortunately, we were able to get the horse out safely. Unfortunately for me…” he continued with the story while simultaneously putting the cup to her lips aiding her to get as much of the tea in as possible. “after we got the horse safely back to the stable, brushed, watered and fed, we had to walk back through the snow and mud back to the house…” he looked at her as she took another sip, her eyes half closed, she laid her head back against the pillows but partially leaning on him. Noticing that three quarters of the tea was drank he encouraged her to finish. "This left me quite chilled and immediately my mother put me in a warm bath and later kept me bundled up by the fire administering this brew of tea. She said the herbs help with fever.” he glanced at her as she had somehow moved to completely lean on his shoulder. "So you see…” he attempted to finish the story but he was having trouble concentrating as the softness of her body against his stirred him awake “the tea…uh..well it's just that.. he sighed to himself as she burrowed towards him turning inward to his body just like the night he awoke to find her in his bed. Somehow he was able to secure the teacup and placed it aside leaning across her placing it gingerly on the table. As he moved, she turned even more into him bringing her hand up to hold him closer in her fevered state. Edmund couldn't move, he was barely breathing at her closeness. Deciding it was best to just stay still, he slowly leaned them both back against the pillows managing to become positioned in a way that once again he was entrapped by Anna’s presence beside him in bed. Closing his eyes he laughed to himself as he nudged her a little so she could reposition herself. She did move just a little and he was able to relax and breathe normally. He rolled to his side facing her as she laid cuddled into his warmth. Breathing in deeply, he reached his left hand awkwardly up because of the sling, to feel her forehead. He was relieved that she seemed a bit cooler to his touch. Maybe the tea was working he thought. Anna reacted to his touch, a small moan, weak but seemingly appreciative. Edmund watched her sleep not saying a word out loud. Instead he laid there for what seemed like eternity watching her sleeping expressions, thinking about her reaction to his touches and words. Most of all, Edmund prayed fervently that God would get them both through this without any major hurt.


	18. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I never post a chapter note. I also didn't intend to write such a long chapter. It just happened and now I've brought up a delicate subject and got to figure out how to deal with it. I've had about five different scenarios running through my mind and this seemed like the most natural route without overthinking it. Hope you enjoy!

It was hot in the room. Although the windows were open, there was hardly any breeze coming through and Anna writhed from the pain in her abdomen. She was alone in that room except for a doctor and midwife with her as she had been in labor for the past ten hours. Her water had broken during the rush of the midday meal and Robert had gotten her to the house just as the first stage of labor started. Anna had never felt such pain before and poor Robert was scared almost speechless. He left her only long enough to fetch Samuel to sit with her while he ran for the midwife. Anna was surrounded completely by men and didn't really know what to expect and felt frightened as each pain intensified. According to the midwife’s estimation her delivery date would have been the last days of June but it was Anna’s first child and she carried over. It was now the third day of July and the doctor was predicting she would deliver in the early morning of next day. Because of the summer heat, she had been miserable since she woke up feeling odd sensations and was dealing with badly swollen fingers and feet. Robert had not wanted her to wait on people in the tavern because she was a week over her due date, but with the holiday upon them, many people were in York City to celebrate the country’s independence. It was always a busy time for their tavern so Anna felt it was silly not to at least make sure the guests were taken care of. 

Robert soon arrived with the midwife that Anna had been seeing much to Samuel’s relief. Once there, the midwife shooed the men out of the room, banning them to the downstairs living area so they wouldn't get in the way. Robert then sent a messenger to Setauket. A few hours later, a breathless Caleb with a very pale Ben arrived as the four men took turns wearing the rug out pacing the downstairs floors as they waited for the baby’s arrival. 

Lying in a different bed now, the room wasn't warm anymore instead she felt chilled. She could sense that she wasn't in the room birthing her son anymore, instead delirious with fever, she could not quite place exactly where she was. The pain she was remembering was so intense and felt so real but the characters had changed and confusion set in as she thought Edmund’s voice shouldn't be there. Shouldn't the doctor’s voice or the midwife’s voice be what she was hearing? Anxiety building up, she started mumbling “Please, please…why is he here? He will never forgive me.” she cried out startling a half awake Edmund still lying beside her on the bed. He sat himself upright to get out of the bed moving over to the other side so that he could try to wake her “Anna, Anna, shhh, it is alright. I will not let anyone hurt you…” he whispered trying to console her. She tossed in her sleep breathing heavy “no” she whined “please don't let anything happen to…” she cried, perplexing Edmund as he focused on her. “It is alright my dear nothing is going to..”No! No I cannot any..so tired…, God it hurts…please… I can't…” her voice trailed off hopeless “it hurts, I need Edmun…” she cried “Please…Selah…he’s gone..” thrashing now in her delirium he grabbed her pulling her to him “Anna, dear, my…” he stopped short “I am here, Shhh, it is okay, I am here” she was crying harder now “Anna…love…” she grasped onto him tightly sobbing in her fevered state she begged “Please please don't take him...there is something wron.…what is wrong?” She continued frantically holding on to him as if her life depended on it. Edmund wasn't sure what to make of it. He tried to convince her she was dreaming. “Shhh, you must calm down. This cannot be good for you getting yourself all worked up…” he tried to soothe her not really sure he understood what was going on “It is going to be alright I promise.” Reacting to his calming words, he felt her body relax and the crying stopped, just small whimpering sounds coming from her as she clutched him tightly. He could tell she was still feverish but not nearly as hot to the touch as just an hour before. He sat there holding her as she laid her head on his shoulder still with her eyes closed, her breathing finally seemingly normal. He held her there, speaking soothing words about whatever came to mind. He told her about his childhood in Scotland. He spoke of the stars. He spoke of their night stargazing in Setauket. The more he spoke the more relaxed she seemed to become. He felt so comfortable just holding her knowing she needed him. Finally after a while, he could tell she was back to sleeping peacefully. Still warm to touch, he begrudgingly laid her back onto the pillows taking his hand and brushing her hair away from her face. His arms already felt so empty he thought. He studied her sleeping face wondering what in her past had scared her so badly. He had never met anyone as strong and courageous as Anna but tonight he saw a side of her he had never seen in their brief time in Setauket. She was truly terrified that someone was going to be taken away from her. Pondering her words, he thought of how in her state, she called for him. She had mentioned Selah but in a much different tone. Why? He wondered to himself. Walking over to the fireplace, he stoked the fire realizing he was going to need more wood to hold them through the night. Checking back at Anna’s sleeping form, he felt she was in a deep enough slumber that he could go down the stairs to the back of the house to fetch wood. Leaving the lamp lit so Anna would not possibly wake up in a darkened room, he placed it on the table by her bed. 

He found his way downstairs and in the back of the house to the small covered porch where the wood was kept. As he stepped outside, the wind blowing, he felt a chill run over his spine. It was an odd sensation as he stood there regrouping after what had occurred in the last few hours with them. Edmund was shaken to the bone with what had happened and he wondered if he would ever fully recover. As he gathered as much wood as possible in his one arm, he turned to look at the dark yard. His lamp lighting a path from the back of the house to a much smaller house. He noted the coziness of it indicating the signs of woman’s touch compared to the much larger home he was staying in and that peaked his interest considering Samuel Townsend owned this home which obviously did not reflect a woman’s touch. He found an odd comfort looking at the small cottage. With an unusual feeling of familiarity he thought he should get back up to Anna as he turned to go back inside the house to take care of her.

Once back upstairs, he added more wood to the fire making the room warm and cozy. He went ahead and prepared the herbs for a second cup of tea. Once she was awake, he would attempt to get her to drink more to get the fever down. He decided while she slept it was better to not wake her so he pulled a chair back up to her bed with a quilt from his bed to keep him warm while he sat vigil over her. Sitting quietly, he leaned on the bed, picking up her hand and putting it in his. She was on her side now, burrowed deep under the quilt, her dark hair across the pillow. The light from the fire danced across her face a troubled pout formed on her lips while she slept causing Edmund to worry she might be in pain. Reaching over, he held her face stroking her cheekbone with his thumb which slowly erased the pout from her face. Her face softening as she slept, she was still very warm but he let her rest. As he sat there lost in his thoughts, still holding her face, she murmured something in her sleep causing Edmund to sit up straighter preparing for anything. Leaning closer, he spoke cautiously “I am here Anna. You are going to be alright…I am going to get you through this" he whispered "I promise, I will not leave you.” Tears began sliding down his face, the emotions he had kept pent up for so long surfacing. Overwhelmed with these feelings, there was no turning back as he spoke what was in his heart “Anna please you have to get better…don't you see Anna…I love you, I never stopped.” he sniffed “I cannot lose you not like this.” he says the tears falling freely as he spoke. He laid his head down leaning on his arms on the side of the bed as all the hurt bubbling as he began a conversation with God “Why? Why bring us back in each other’s paths? Why would you allow her back in my life only to take her away again?” he whispered “Please.. I'm so frightened. She is so weak. It cannot end this way.” He continued “She deserves so much more.” his head began hurting from the rush of tears. He placed his head down on her arm, crying to himself, his hand encircling hers. Anna stirred in her sleep with a little whimper causing him to look up, wiping his eyes. She began talking her voice small and weak in her sleep, pleading “Please please let me hold him…let me hold…no please please don't take him…he needs me, I am…please…” she begged. Confused by her delirious words, he thought perhaps he misunderstood her through his tears. Struggling in her dream state, she was crying now harder, her body covered in perspiration “I need…” she cried “Edmund…I love him…please Caleb, I love …” he looked at her as she spoke then reaching over he squeezed her hand tightly “Anna, darling I'm here…Shhh.. I am here…I have not left you…” he put his head down and began to pray more. 

Moments passed and soon Anna began moving her head frantically, tears starting to roll down her face because of her fervent state “No no please I need my baby now, please let me hold him…why isn't my baby crying…” Edmund's head snapped up hearing those words. A baby? Anna has a baby? He had seen no signs of a baby. She couldn't very well have had a baby to care for and devoted all the time over the past almost two weeks taking care of him. She must be delirious from fever he thought. He squeezed her hand again “Shhh, Anna it's okay. You're safe, your sick but safe…” he tried to reassure her. Opening her tear filled eyes, she seemed confused and as if she didn't recognize him. “Where is he?” she asked almost demanded in her weakened state. He said nothing. He didn't know what to say, truth be told. He didn't want to upset her more, so he remained silent. Anna continued “Just tell me he is alright…what did you do with my baby…. ” Edmund tried to understand her but was at a loss for words. Anna weak and exhausted from the fever closed her eyes again falling back to a fervid stupor. She began whispering to herself barely audible as Edmund leaned closer to her trying to hear her “Orion…my sweet boy…my beautiful dark hair boy…I love you so much…you, a complete surprise but a product of love. I promise you…” she whispered her tone changing as she spoke with such ease. Suddenly their two worlds collided as thoughts started rushing through his mind. The tavern, the accident, Anna living in York City away from Selah in Pennsylvania, Anna taking care of him, being offered Samuel’s home, seeing the small cottage behind it…  
Anna’s child…Orion, the young boy he had met. He tried to remember how old Robert said he was. His mind was all over the place as he desperately tried to remember their conversation a few weeks before. Thinking back, he thought he remembered Robert had said the boy had just turned four over the summer. His frantically began calculating months back to summer before his arrival back in America to get an idea of about when the child’s birthday. Quickly going back nine months before late June or July. That would have been around the time he and Anna spent those unforgettable two days and nights together. What had she said to her baby in her delirious state…he was a product of love? The reality of what he had heard Anna say just moments before about loving him and the mathematical conclusion of her son’s conception, brought him to a truth he didn't quite comprehend. Orion, that dark haired charming boy whose familiarity he couldn't quite shake after that first day meeting…Orion was Anna’s child…there seemed to be no Selah, Anna never really said just that he lived in Philadelphia while she lives here in York City, alone with no protection…Anna was alone in York City. It was very unusual to say the least. Robert and Samuel Townsend were in York City, Anna was taking care of him in Samuel’s home. He thought back to his first conversation with Robert who never denied or admitted that the boy was his son. He thought of how most men would be so proud of a boy like Orion, and although Robert seemed very fond of the child, the parental feeling wasn't there like it was earlier with Anna’s murmurs to a newborn baby in her state of mind. Suddenly his mind flashed backed to the day of the accident…the boy running towards him…Caleb Brewster, Anna’s childhood friend was with him, protecting him from a possible horrific accident. Looking at her sleeping, the boy’s face flashing through his mind. Orion was Anna’s son he thought. Those two beautiful days together lingered in the back of his memory. The love they shared, the happiness they experienced….Orion was Anna’s son. She had left him to wake up alone, to return to Scotland, to save his reputation and life…Orion was Anna’s son…that inquisitive little boy with his mother’s dark curls and happy countenance. The little boy brown eyed boy, that were not big and wide like his mother’s but instead very much like he knew was a Hewlett family trait. Suddenly the epiphany of what was being revealed hit him. Orion, Anna’s son was his son.


	19. Faces of the Past

Anna was pain free and on a natural high from the endorphins of pushing the little body out of hers. She could feel the weight of the baby lying on her stomach and although a bit sore in her abdomen and below, she felt elated and had a peace in her for the first time in nine months. The doctor cut the cord that connected her son to her. It was bittersweet but she was assured that once the midwife stopped the bleeding she could hold him. He wasn't making any noise and she kept telling herself that it must be because he was as tired as she was after the long hours she was in labor. The white haired doctor's face worried her as he worked on her baby. An uneasy feeling overcame her as she watched her baby lying there still wet from delivery and still not moving or making a sound. She begged them to let her hold him. She felt weak from the loss of blood as she tried to focus on the doctor working on her son. She heard him tell the midwife that the baby had gotten the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck apparently as she bore down to push him out which had caused him to turn a frightening shade of purplish blue. Fear gripped her as she started fighting the feeling to go to sleep. She continued beggung to hold him as she gripped the sheets of the bed trying to pull herself up. Just as she began to sit upright, the most beautiful sound she had ever heard ripped through her heart as her baby cried for the first time. Relief flooded her as she fell back unconscious from the loss of blood. 

Anna woke with a start. The air was lighter and the room was cheerful. In the distance, she heard a man’s voice gently talking to her to come back to him. The voice was so distinct, so soothing that she felt herself drawn to it but the voice seemed so far away. “Anna, my dear you must open your eyes...there is so much” she heard the voice say. Turning her head toward the voice she opened her eyes slightly, the light from a candle causing her to scrunch up her face raising her hand up to shield her eyes. Finally she was able to make out a face behind the voice. Was she dreaming? She had just delivered the baby. Edmund's baby. Why was Edmund here? How had he found out? Panic set in and she tried to look around the room desperately searching for her baby. Edmund couldn’t see the baby she thought to herself! He was probably livid with her. Why can’t she see her baby in the room? Where had they put the baby? Had they hidden him from Edmund? Who told Edmund she was here? She thought he was in Scotland! She began panicking as she spoke “Why are you here?” she cried out to him desperately “Where is he? Please I need to see my baby!” she said begging as she scurried to sit up trying to get out of the bed to find her baby. Realizing Anna was not of a clear mind likely from the high fever, Edmund reached over to put his hands on hers shoulders to try to calm her. Gently he spoke to her as she struggled against him "Anna, my dear, you mustn’t get worked up. This is just the fever. I’m afraid it is causing you to not be able to think properly.” She continued to struggle against him as he persisted “Now...let us remember that we are friends...Remember” he continued gently, soothingly as the terror in her eyes began to fade with his softening voice. Smiling at her now, he continued “Don’t you recall, I offered my friendship to you and you accepted it” She eased the grip of the bed linens, blinking at him with a confused nod relaxing as he continued speaking to her “It was not easy for me to approach you..." he admitted shyly "...much less offer a strictly platonic friendship. It is no secret how I felt about you..." he continued "it was even harder opening up to you that night with my telescope." Looking away awkwardly, he sighed "In the past, other ladies had thought my dalliance with the stars were silly...but you did not...You did not judge me, instead you saw the real me...and still...Anna, you still wanted to be my friend.” Tears welled up in his eyes as Anna closed her heavy lids from exhaustion and fever. Running her hand through her hair, she laid there a few moments quietly before she spoke in a weak croaking voice “Caleb listen to me, Abe was wrong about him... we were all wrong. We misjudged him, me the most! He’s not the enemy, not really, he was just on the other side" she said in a whimper...."Edmund..." she sniffed "He is a gentleman.” She continued lowering her voice in a barely audible whisper “please understand he is not like the person Abe described. You don’t know him Caleb, I do. Abe doesn't know him...This baby....” Edmund looked at her taking a deep breath of despair at the words she spoke. Before he could speak she began breathing heavy as she continued her eyes still closed, perspiration mixing in with the tears on her face “He’s jealous Caleb. He never really loved me. He used me...allowing my feelings from childhood to muddy the reality of our relationship. I was such a fool to believe his lies, he has told so many lies and now...” she continued as in pain “I’ve lost so many I love Caleb, my parents, Abe, Selah...Edmu...I’m not giving up the only thing I have left of Edmund....” her voice trailed off as she continued. Her eyes still closed, she shook her head back and forth on the pillow as she rambled “...Abe has taken away my chance at happiness. Edmund hates me now...This baby was meant to be. Don't you see Caleb? The years married to Selah, never with child, even the brief time with Abe, thankfully no pregnancy, but this..." She placed her hand on her stomach as she spoke "this miracle is mine....it's Edmund's baby..." she whimpered then suddenly became very quiet lying there in her delusional state of mind, tears streaming down her face as she cried, the perspiration making her hair stick to her neck. She continued mumbling in the exhaustive battle from the delirium. Her breathing began slowing and she began to calm down as Edmund reached over with a cool rag blotting her forehead he whispering softly “There now, there there Anna, it’s alright I am here now. Abraham isn’t going to hurt you anymore I promise. Everything was resolved. Caleb understands." he lied. Somehow his words seemed to relax her and moments later she rolled over to her side facing him her eyes still shut, capturing his hand and cuddling it beneath her cheek as she sighed softly before falling back into a fitful slumber. Relief came over him that she now seemed calmer. He could tell from the touch of her cheek on his hand, she felt cooler. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around what exactly had transpired in the past hours. He thought back to all that had occurred since arriving back in the colonies, his mind swimming with memories, thoughts and overwhelmed with the new knowledge that he had a son. 

The love he and Anna shared in that brief time together had created a beautiful brilliant little boy. What was he going to do now? The boy was born into circumstances that could turn cruel if the world found out. Is that why Anna stayed married to Selah? To make sure their son was not a bastard in society? However, Selah lived in Philadelphia and not with them. Why? Why was he not with his wife? Did he learn the truth and leave them or did Anna not tell him and let everyone think they were still married? She had specifically told him they were still married...right? No...He thought back. She never DID say that did she? No, she only mentioned Selah lived in Philadelphia. He has assumed they were still married! Anger began rising up within him as he cursed himself at not delving more in the conversation when it occurred. He was just so angry and in so much pain when he awoke after the accident. He just wanted her to hurt. It was just easier not to carry on conversations with her, not he civil to her. He was so damn angry at her! Now his world had been changed forever that even if she came out of this sickness not remembering what she had revealed, he KNEW he would not be able to leave it at that. No Edmund knew that the revelation of Orion being his son no matter what the consequences, was something he could never to turn his back on. Pulling his free hand from under Anna's cheek, he slowly tucked the covers snugly around her, pausing to push her dark hair away from her face. He moved over to the fire, stoking it for a few moments as he watches the flames dancing around. Once the room warmed, he realized that fresh water and more wood would be needed. He took the trouble to light several candles to illuminate the room in case she awoke while he was downstairs. 

Once downstairs, he began gathering what supplies he could with his good arm while making several trips back and forth trying to be as quiet as possible not wanting to wake her. Each time he came into the room, she seemed to be sleeping more peacefully. He set out the supplies arranging them neatly and tidying up from the long night that had passed already. Anna continued to sleep soundly bringing him much relief. He was tired but felt revived in a way he hadn't felt since waking up from his accident. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind and although on the brink of exhaustion physically, Edmund couldn't help but feel a rush of emotions as the reality of Orion came to light as the sun began rising in the sky outside.

Stepping onto the back porch of the house, the small cottage caught his eye again. In the distance on the city roads, the sounds of horses neighing and muffles voices could be heard as the new day was beginning in the busy city. Edmund took a deep breath trying to acclimate his eyes as the darkness drifted into light. Out of the corner of his eye, a dim glow from a lantern moving through the cottage caught his attention. He stood there as the shadow became a man walking through carefully. Edmund assumed it was the owner and not wanting to cause alarm to the occupant of the cottage, he decided it would be better for all, especially Anna's reputation if he returned inside the house and not be seen in his current state of casual appearance. He turned to go inside the house, just as a male voice called out loudly "You there! Hey! What are you doing?" Edmund froze for a moment realizing his plan to go undiscovered had failed miserably. The voice boomed even louder as the man walked towards him getting closer "Dont move!" the man said "Stay right there!" causing Edmund to stop in his tracks at the sound of a gun being cocked. A deafening silence took over between them as the man with the gun continued "Now slowly turn yourself around and tell me what you are doing lurking outside of this house." Closing his eyes Edmund took a deep breath and as instructed turned to face his captor. "Sir you are misunderstanding the situation"...he heard himself saying a little too nervously for his liking. He moved to face the man with the gun. Stepping out of the shadows, the man aimed the gun directly at him, as Edmund held his breath while the man spoke sounding a bit shocked "Well what the hells fire are you doing out here?" The burly bearded man acted as if they knew each other all the while still pointing the gun at his chest and tapping him lightly causing Edmund's nerves to get the best of him "Where the hell is Annie?!" Confusion came over Edmund from the first sentence and he did not have time to process the second one before sputtering "Sir I am not sure who you think I am or what exactly that you think I am doing here in my stocking feet"... He rambled on..."but I assure you it is not what it looks like!" Backing away to distance himself from the gun, he cleared his throat and said "I am Edmund Hewlett and I have been staying here while I recuperate...." He sputtered hurriedly "Might I inquire who you are?" he blurted out. The man's reaction, a snicker as he spoke was not what Edmund expected from a stranger with a gun pointing at him ""Well... How bout that...the last time I saw you...you were layin on the stable floor after ending up on the wrong side of a runaway horse's hooves." Shaking his head as in disbelief that Edmund was standing upright before him, he laughed "Damn Anna outdid herself taking care of you eh?" He put the gun down patting him on the shoulder without the sling "What she do...put you to work?" Edmund was flabbergasted by the sudden change in the man's demeanor. His military training kicked in as he straightened up squaring his shoulders and lifting his head to be face to face wth the bearded man. Sizing the man up, recollection came over him as he thought of the incident at the stables. This man in front of him was the man with Orion that day. This was not the first time Edmund had seen him. He thought back to the other time that he had seen him before. It was in Setauket years before during the war. He was with Major Tallmadge when Simcoe had murdered the older man to prove his point to the town. Edmund paused taking it all in, defiant as he raised his eyebrows, modding and spoke. "Caleb Brewster, I presume?" The man acknowledged his name grinning broadly all while nodding back at him "Yep, you got it right..."Then just as quickly as he spoke, a darkness moved into the man's eyes as he looked Edmund up and down. Lifting the gun to Edmund's chest, he smiled and then looking him straight in the eye, Edmund felt the gun sternly against his chest "NOW that introductions have been made...Youre going to tell me why are you outside and what have you done with Anna?"


	20. Time Stands Still

"You see" He pointed at a still sleeping Anna "she is sick and I have been taking care of her..." Edmund stammered nervously as he and Caleb stood over the bed where Anna laid. Caleb looked around the room, removing his hat, and whistling lowly as he took in the evidence that indeed Edmund had been taking care of a feverish, hallucinating Anna. "When did she turn ill?" he replied lowering the gun as he spoke. Relief flooded over Edmund as Caleb began putting the gun away. "I found her yesterday evening." he said never taking his eyes off of her. "I fear" he continued "she had probably been lying here sick for a good full day before I discovered her". The other man looked up with an angry scowl "What? Why would she lay here all day before you found her?" Caleb growled at him. Edmund took a deep breath before he answered "Well...We...We had a misunderstanding and it was better left alone." Caleb's eyes darkened as he spoke "How the hell do ye have a misunderstanding with the one person who's been taking care of you? Tell me exactly how that happens eh?" Edmund put his hand up to explain to Anna's childhood friend who was beginning to look more and more troubled. Caleb's voice got emotional as he spoke "I thought she had a doc looking after ya. Where the hell is he at?" he said reaching over to put his hand to Anna's forehead a worried expression on his face. It was then that Edmund began the long tale of the sick doctor, the epidemic that was overworking his staff and why no one had been around. As he told the story, the morning light began peeking through the window. Shifting from foot to foot a worried Caleb ran his hand nervously over his beard at the same time pulling the chair closer to the bed as he plopped down taking her hand into his "Well I guess you've done all you could do...Considering..." He shot him a hard look "I dunno, what do ye think? Maybe we should fetch another doctor" Edmund nodded at the suggestion "I suppose that would be a good idea, but I wouldn't know where to begin finding a competent doctor." Caleb looked up still holding Anna's hand "Well, I know there's a few people around here that Anna trust for medical purposes especially with..." He stopped short of saying Orion's name. To quickly cover his mistake he jumped up pacing back and forth rubbing his head as he spoke "let's see there's the widow of the cobbler that used to have a shop up from the tavern. She works as a midwife for a doctor and Anna trust her..." Again he stopped short grabbing his hat and pushing it down over his bushy hair "I'll run over now and see if she can come and check on Anna. You stay here in case she needs anything!" He said over his shoulder as he ran out of the room, taking the stairs in a hurry before Edmund knew exactly what was going on with this man, like human hurricane blew through the house, out the door and on the horse to go get help.

Alone with her again, he took his place beside the bed taking her hand "I'm sure you have heard us my dear, it appears your friend believes me and is now going to get me some back up. Let us pray it will be enough to pull you through and have you back healthy and strong. After all, our son needs his mother...." Tears filled his eyes as he spoke, "...Anna please love, I need you to fight hard. Orion needs you..." his voice trailed off he wiped his eyes and continued "...we have so much to discuss.... I know why you did it Anna. I understand now what exactly you have sacrificed to protect our son..." pausing at the reality of the words coming out of his mouth, Edmund squeezed her hand, smiling, his chin trembling with emotion "Anna, you see...I need you to understand why I acted or rather reacted to seeing you again... I was fighting my feelings after the accident happened. The last person I expected to encounter in York City was you!" He sniffed " God...my heart has ached for you for so long Anna. Just when I thought I could go on, try to piece together what was left of my heart, make a new life for myself, you walked back in at one of the most vulnerable times of my life. Oh Anna!" he cried squeezing her hand agaib "please love, wake up..." As he talked, Anna began stirring in the bed. Still very weak and barely audible she whispered "Please..." He looked up excitedly at her voice as he leaned in to listen "please....Caleb" she whispered "promise me this stays between us.... cannot tell Ben what hap... full report...trip into the city...he needn't worry about Edmund." Mumbling to herself she said "....is heading back to Scotland. I made sure...watched him board ship..." Edmund gasped quietly as she continued talking in her state of delusional sleep. "Need... to get out of the camp before I start showing..." she placed her hand on her stomach whispering "make my way to York City.... find work there and..." she trailed off. Suddenly the reality of her situation, a woman alone, living in a city where she doesn't know anyone, carrying the child of a man other than her husband, much worse a British officer, the situation hit him full on. In astonishment he thought of his brave Anna and how she must have been very frightened facing the reality of her situation. She began moving her head and whimpering in her sleep as he spoke softly "Shh, You need not be afraid...I promise you, it will be alright my dear." he said as he brushed her hair back stroking it gently "Your baby will be safe. I promise." These words seemed to calm her again. She began breathing easily again and soon sound asleep. He continued rubbing her head watching her sleep waiting for Caleb to bring the Calvary in to help her.

A little while later Caleb was back with the Calvary which was in the form of portly older Irish woman with fiery red hair that was introduced to him as the widow Rafferty. Mrs. Rafferty blew into the room with a satchel and introductions were made as she took her place in the chair where Edmund had sat previously. Looking at the patient, she spoke softly, almost motherly in a lovely Irish accent. "Well now what 'ave we here eh Lass" she spoke to Anna as if she knew her well "Aint it a fine mess ye in? I tol ya jest the other day when we spoke outside when ye were gathring wood ye was looking tired..." She continued tsking at her as she spoke "well let's get ye up and reposition yerself so in ye don't get yer lungs full of cold" she began lifting Anna up and turning her while propping her from with pillows to elevate her into a half sitting position. Anna mumbled something that neither Caleb or Edmund could hear but Mrs. Rafferty laughed as if they were talking to each other saying out loud "Yer a sight Missus but not nearly as bad I've seen some of th'others with th'yellow fever. As a matter o fact ye looking a might better than I wus expecting after hearing Mr. Caleb describe ye!" She cackled to herself "Why ye have had good care it looks like" she nodded to the men "to hear him tell it..."her head nodding towards Caleb, ye in got one foot in th grave Missus!" Caleb looked embarrassed at the older woman's account of what he had told her. Mrs. Rafferty kept on talking as if they weren't in the room "Why it looks like to me that you are gittin good care you are. I smell the herbs for the tea" she cast her eyes to the now empty tea cup, "I woulda brewed it for ye fever. That was a good choice." Edmund let out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding in as the woman continued try to talk. Just hearing the older woman acknowledge that he had done the right thing for a fever brought him much needed relief. "Jest got to git ye through the worse of it Missus, the fever sticks around fer a few days to a week. I see yer skin is already turning yeller...that it be expected Missus, but dint ye worry yer pretty head, yer pretty skin will be back and yer eyes full of life again especially after ye see yer lil one..." Caleb interrupted her chatter trying to keep the subject of Orion not brought up. Clearing his throat he asked "So you think she is going to be alright Mrs. Rafferty?" The older woman looked up smiling "yes Sir, your friend is going to be fine? This fever can be hard on them and it will take some time. It is jest a matter of time.” Caleb continued questioning the woman as he watched Edmund. "So...What are ye thinking? Annie is made of good sturdy stock...thinking she will pull through with no problems?" he asked. The woman brows knitted together as she explained "This fever itnt one that is easy to shake off. You did th right thing making the tea to git tha fever down." Caleb nodded his head toward Edmund "We can give him the credit. He found her last night. I just got here a few hours ago" Mrs. Rafferty raised her eyebrows taking in Edmund in his casual appearance wearing the sling for his shoulder "I see, why ye must be the man who was on th wrong end of the horse in the stables." Edmund felt his face turning red as he nodded "Yes" he said shyly "I am afraid I was but as you can see I have had a very good nurse." He said pointing toward the sleeping Anna. Mrs. Rafferty took in his appearance as she studied him coolly "yes it appears she did...the Missus is a good one she is...loyal to a fault" she said causing Edmund to look puzzled at her. This in turn caused Mrs Rafferty to smile to herself as if she was the only one in on the joke. Laughing heartily she looked at Anna and then back to Edmund all while shaking her head still smiling she said "now my advice would be ter just keep lettin her sleep but give her that tea and it should help keep her fever down. Let her rest and when she does wake tryn git some decent food in her. The missus works too hard at tha tavern n Mr Townsend can surely provide ye with some stew, somethin that er stick to her bones." After a half hour of Mrs. Rafferty's tending the patient and giving detailed instructions, she announced to Caleb that she needed to get back to her house. Her children would be hollering for breakfast soon she said painting a picture of quite the crowded house with six mouths to feed by herself. Caleb helped her with her coat and they began to make their way out of the house. A grateful Edmund took her hand shaking it eloquently offering to pay her for her time causing the older lady to blush as she shooed him "Now now, the missus n I go too far back. It's the least I can do. She is a good one she is." Edmund smiled relieved at the seemingly positive prognosis for Anna. He nodded his head in agreement at her description of his beloved smiling graciously "Well Mrs Rafferty my dear woman, Mr Brewster and I are forever in your debt..." The compliment seemed to flatter Mrs. Rafferty as she smiled winking at him saying "I believe the missus is goin to be fine Sir. She'n a strong one she is...but I think you already know that. She has a lot to fight for n come back to" she said as her words seemed to strike a chord within his heart, putting him at a loss for words. Edmund blinked his eyes full of unsaid emotions as he just nodded looking back at the sleeping Anna. "Yes, yes she does..." he thought to himself as Mrs. Rafferty gathered her things and left the room with Caleb. 

Alone again with Anna, he moved back to the chair, as he thought over the older woman's words. He sat there a few moments in silence watching her sleep. She seemed comfortable he assured himself. Time slowed down as he sat in that room watching her and waiting. Almost to comfort himself as well as Anna, he spoke lovingly to her "Your friend Mrs. Rafferty seems to think madam that your mostly out of danger." He smiled softly "I must say I am relieved to say the least that soon you will he awake and putting me in my place." He laughed to himself nodding his head as he continued speaking to her "Anna...Can you wake up?" He touched her hair trying to get a response "Anna, if you wake up, I will see what I can do to get you some good food." Looking around the room, he said feeling helpless and frustrated "Anna, Madam enough of this, your son needs you, your friends need you,,...I...Well, this isn't about what I need is it? There is so much we need to discuss. You need to wake up and get strong so your son, our son can..." his voice broke off when he heard Caleb coming back up the stairs to come into the room. There was an awkward silence in the room as Caleb entered and the silence between them was deafening. Edmund sensed by the look on the gruff man's face, that he had heard his conversation as he talked to Anna. The city outside below was starting its day, as the world carried on unaware of the tension between the two men as together they sat in solitude waiting for Anna to wake up. Neither spoke to each other. Both had decided they were not leaving her. Mrs. Rafferty had said it was just a matter of time and right now time and their feelings for Anna was all the two men had in common.


	21. Journey to a Lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one. Very bittersweet. An epilogue is in the works. Hope you enjoy!

With the cool ocean breeze on his face Edmund stood on the deck of the ship watching as the coastline of America came into view and excitement was building inside as his heart began racing in anticipation of seeing his family. He had been gone from them for almost four months as he closed out his mother's estate. Her death had happened not long after arriving back to Scotland. She had taken a turn for the worse about two weeks after he arrived of consumption. The town leighiche who had been treating her since he had left Scotland for the colonies had been sworn to secrecy about her condition. If the truth be known, his mother had been poorly for the past year but didn't want Edmund to know, and had made everyone vow to not share this with her son. In his correspondences with the staff or his mother, nothing was mentioned of her declining health. It was not until he arrived home, that he knew the full scope of her illness. His mother had seen him off to return to the colonies to face whatever was haunting him. She had prayed fervently that her son could find peace on his journey. Although very upset at finding her so ill, he was grateful that in the final days with his mother, he was able to share with her the news that she was a grandmother and that he and Anna had married just a few days before he had boarded the ship to return to Scotland. He explained to her that his intention had been to bring her back to the colonies to meet his new family and to move her there to live out her final years. Sadly he had to face that it was not meant to be and that his mother was not going to be leaving Scotland. 

Those last day as he sat with her, holding her hand, reading to her, comforting her when she was sick and in pain, she still managed to ask him about her grandson and find out what he was like. His heart full of pride as he spoke of his son, Edmund told her about how Anna had given the boy the name of Orion because of Edmund's love for the constellations. His mother seemed pleased with the boy's name and even more pleased to learn her grandson also carried the two middle names in honor of his two gradfathers. Since the marriage (and legal adoption), his official name was now Orion James Gordon (which also happens to be Edmund's middle name) Hewlett. That pleased his mother very much and she never seemed to grow tired of hearing Edmund talk about her grandson no matter how sick or weak she was. He smiled broadly as he told her that her grandson had his mother's dark curls and complexion and a good mixture of them both with his defining Hewlett almond shaped brown eyes that even crinkled at the corners when he smiled. He drew her a mental picture of a very inquisitive little boy who at almost five years old could already read and write his name thanks to his mother's teaching. Edmund revealed the story of how he had learned about his son while caring for a very sick Anna. He shared his nervousness of being a father to a boy like Orion and told her how they slowly got to know each other after the boy had returned home with Samuel. He explained how while Anna recovered from yellow fever, there was a lot of time spent together between them. Once Anna was well enough to be left in the care of someone other than himself Edmund took the opportunity to take his son out on day trips where he discovered much to his delight that the boy was very bright and had a big interest in the sciences. He loved learning about animals (thanks to his uncle Caleb) and was very knowledgable of their behaviors in the wild, mating habits and even hunting them for food. He loved horses and often accompanied his father to the stables to care for Juette. He had even been able to ride Juette sitting in front of his father in the saddle much to the little boy's delight. This pleased Edmund very much that his son was a natural horseman and he told his mother how he was already looking into getting the boy a pony to learn to ride and take care of at the stables. Edmund told her how he was very happy to also discover that Orion was fascinated with his father's love for the stars. By sharing that with his son, it had helped them develop a closer bond. Edmund delighted in telling his mother how the boy had accompanied both of his parents stargazing once the weather had warmed up. It was a precious time with Anna and Orion. Hearing her son talk about it with so much passion and love for them, Edmund's mother's eyes filled with tears and her heart was full. She knew that her prayers had been answered for her only child. She was so pleased that her beloved son was happy finally and seemed to have the love of a good woman to raise a family with. She had worried so over Edmund because he had been alone for such a big part of of his life. His mother took comfort in her final days knowing that he was happier than he had ever been but most of all she was grateful that he would no longer be alone in life. When she took her last breath, Edmund was there with her, the dutiful son full of sadness and tears yet knowing he had made her final days very happy. He found comfort knowing he had her blessing to leave Scotland and go back to America and live his life to the fullest with his wife and child. 

The estate business took a little bit to settle before he could leave. He had always had a head for these types of things and had become quite the businessman over the year. He understood that opportunity awaited with the land left to him by his father. He offered the caregiver of the home to live rent free in place of running the family home in his absence. Edmund had decided to lease out the acreages of land he now iwned and collect rent from the farmers for a portion of money they made from their crops from working of the land. It was permitted under both common law and civil law. By doing this, Edmund could still keep the land in his family all whilst living in America and this would bring in an income off the land. He had known the caregiver most of his life and felt he and his spinster sister would he well suited to run the home and to collect the rent. He hired a barrister that was an expert in these types of business ventures and with his help, Edmund was able to hire a solid local man of good moral character with a family to help farm the land. There was a cottage on the property that would house the man and his family easily. Edmund would stay in contact through the barrister by letters and would travel back at least once a year to check on his investment. He hoped on the next visit he would be able to bring his family back to his childhood home. He wanted his son to know his Scottish roots and understand the Hewlett legacy. He wanted to take his beloved Anna to the home he grew up in, see the Kirk he had attended as a child with his parents and to visit where they were buried. He wanted Anna to grow to love Scotland as he had grown to love America. Most of all, he wanted to give Anna a lifestyle she deserved. By investing in this land, he knew that he could give her a decent life without having to work so hard. He knew Anna didn't mind working hard. He admired her for it and appreciated that because of that hard work she had helped grow a successful business with Robert. He was so proud of her accomplishments, but he wanted Anna to understand she was now the lady of the manor. He wanted to build her a house on land that he had looked into buying before his trip to Scotland. He didn't want her to worry about money anymore. He wanted her to understand that she could do anything she wanted because together they woukd build the life they wanted. With his inheritance and investments, her head for business and the success she already had perhaps she wouldn't have to work so hard and money would not be as much of an issue now that she was Mrs. Edmund Hewlett. His Anna could finally have everything she deserved in life. 

As the coastline came closer into view, he smiled remembering their wedding just months earlier in the late spring. He recalled standing with her in the small church with no one in attendance but the pastor, his wife, their son and the two of them. Anna wore a deep royal blue gown with a new string of pearls that he had gifted her for their weddiing. She looked quite lovely with her hair up, flowers intertwined in her curls. Although still a bit thin and weak from her illness, the color had finally gotten back to normal and he thought his bride actually glowed that day as they prepared to say their vows. He had worn a dark gray suit that matched his son's exactly. Edmund laughed to himself recalling how the very serious pastor had started the ceremony with the dry verbiage of the scripture of the ceremony. His bride had had a case of nerves and her hands shook during the ceremony all the while she was smiling at him and simultaneously she squeezed his hands throughout the vows. As the ceremony progressed, their impish son began to get fidgety, yawned loudly, and shuffled his feet in boredom as he kept pulling at the collar of the shirt to his new suit. The boy showed no interest that his father had gone to great lengths to have their suits specially made for the ceremony. To Orion, he was uncomfortable so staying still was a challenge at his age. Edmund thought back with a chuckle how a bored Orion kept walking between his parents circling and interweaving through them much to the pastor's disapproval. The pastor seemed to be irritated with the boy's behavior as his poor wife became red faced and frustrated over the child's disruption of such an important moment. Soon both Edmund and Anna had a case of full on giggles between them as they both thought back to how differently this ceremony was in comparison to the now infamous ceremony in Setauket all those years before. Reaching down between them, Edmund settled the wiggly boy by gently stroking his head as the ceremony went on. Edmund and Anna got over their nerves as they began repeating their vows without any embarrassing fits of laughter. Soon tears of joy welled up in Anna's eyes as she said her vows and a touched Edmund reached over to wipe them away gently as he said his own vows. Lovingly he took her hand into his and as he looked down at their son he also took his smaller hand into his forming a circle as the pastor pronounced them man and wife. At that moment they became a family in the eyes of the law. 

On the deck of the ship, Edmund wiped away a tear as he thought back to that moment. He still couldn't quite believe that that all of this was real. He thought back with fondness the celebration of the nuptials that Robert and Samuel had held at the tavern with their small circle of friends. Edmund felt a sense of accomplishment knowing that he had gained Anna's friends confidence and trust where Anna and Orion were concerned. He was pleased that he now could call them his friends as well. After much celebrating, singing and dancing, Edmund and Anna left their son with his uncles Caleb and Benjamin at the cottage Anna and Orion had lived while they left for a few days to spend some much deserved time alone.

Edmund thought further back to the whirlwind of the past few months of Anna's recovery from yellow fever. So much had happened since Anna woke up from her delusional state a few days after he encountered Caleb that early morning. With both of their defences down from the wave of emotions they faced after he laid his heart open acknowledging to her that he knew the truth about Orion, the wounds began healing. Anna was still very weak and rested for a lot of that time. A little over a week passed and Samuel returned with Orion as everything began to fall into its natural place as the three of them became a family. 

During this time of her confinement, after Samuel returned, Edmund decided that it would be only proper to court Anna as a lady should be. He moved out of Samuel's house and back into the room that he had rented when he first came back to the colonies. As his shoulder healed, he continued visiting the doctor each week for the remaining of the month. During those days he made himself busy with what business he could attend to and always stayed close by Anna during her recovery. Her bout of illness lingered for a few more weeks after Mrs. Rafferty's diagnosis and she remaines weak and tired easily afterwards. Edmund went to great lengths to make sure she had the proper care and rest. During this time Anna and Edmund did everything the proper way. Once she began the long road to recovery and out of the woods, they were never totally alone. Usually they were in a group setting such as attending church services, or during meals with Robert and Samuel at their home. Anna was always properly chaperoned. It was important to Edmund that Anna's reputation was not at stake because of his presence. He took it upon himself to get to know Caleb better who happened to still come around on Wednesday nights, but instead of Anna cooking, Edmund would have the tavern prepare the meal or he himself would would attempt cooking the meal much to Anna's amusement. She delighted in his attempts of so called meals. When Caleb came for those meals, he would always complain and put on a show of disgust but usually ate whatever Edmund managed to put before him on the table. Always a good sport though, Caleb was honest in saying that after surviving off the rations of war, he had had much worse than Edmund’s cooking. Caleb saw and acknowledged the great lengths that Edmund had gone through for Anna and their son. After a few weeks of observing him with his lifelong friend, Caleb realized Abe had painted Edmund in a much different light and his opinion of the man might not be the best to rely on where Edmund’s character was involved. Instead, he noticed how Anna's face lit up when she saw Edmund with their son. Most importantly he saw Edmund’s efforts as he interacted with the boy. Eventually Caleb insisted that Edmund be included in his time with Orion so that the boy’s father could get to know his son better. He concluded and admitted to Edmund that although quite the opposite in their personalities, both he and Edmund had two people in common and that they both loved them very much. In time the two men became each other's biggest allies. Most of all, Edmund and Caleb worked together to make Anna well again and to finally have the life she so deserved.

The ocean's salty spray of water and air refreshed his senses as he smiled thinking back to the few stolen moments over those months courting. They had not really been completely left alone together except for a stolen chaste kiss every now and then when the men in Anna's life left them alone periodically. Edmund's face warmed as he remembered the two of them being totally alone in the room of the inn where they stayed for the next few days after their wedding. He remembered an air of awkwardness that hung over them alone together as husband and wife. As they stood there not really sure what to say to each other holding each other's hands looking into each other's eyes, the silence was deafening. It was Anna who first admitted she was anxious blushing and turning her eyes away as she told him that she hadn't been with anyone since their time together. Edmund understood her uneasiness. He assured her his feelings had never changed in those years between them and he too had not been with anyone else. His friendship with Alice was no more than that, a friendship and he confessed that not even a kiss had passed between them in their time together. Although his mother had wanted him to marry, he confessed that because of his feelings for Anna, he could never bring himself to commit to anything more than a friendly escort to church functions and other social events. Both seemed to have nerves that were on edge. The innkeeper’s wife had left a bottle of wine and he poured a glass of wine to help relax them. They moved to a settee in front of the fire, sipping the wine and acclimating themselves to their new life. As the room began darkening from day into night, Anna stood up to light the candles in the room. As she did so he recalled that she turned to look over her shoulder at him smiling the light casting a beautiful glow to her face. The heat began rising over her neck up to her face as he gazed at her with so much love in his eyes. He remembered feeling like his heart would pound outside of his chest. She had turned away to hide her blush as he found himself approaching her from behind, the electricity between them high as he stood very close to her in that quiet room. He slid his hand to her waist, and he remembered hearing her breath catch in her throat. He couldn’t help himself as he began caressing her long neck as his fingers began playing with the loose curls as they began coming free. he meticulously began removing the pins that held her hair in place, gently laying them along with the ribbon of flowers on the bureau by the bed. As he held her hair off her neck, softly running his mouth over the nape of her neck he gently began kissing her neck moving her hair to one side. His mouth made its way up to her jawline lingering there as she relaxed against his body. Overcome with a wave of emotions, he gently turned her toward him, his lips moving along to her cheek and finally locating her luscious mouth bringing them to a full on fervid kiss. This kiss was filled with so much passion from Anna that he remembers how her body fell against his with such force that it seemed her knees weakened a bit as he pulled her tightly against him. He continued teasing her with his tongue, playfully, sweetly but very much in control of his actions. The man kissing her that night and since was a changed man from their love. This man was not the shy, bumbling, awkward, man in Setauket. Instead he was a confident man, husband, lover and his new bride couldn't seem to get enough of his kisses as it led to their very passionate night of lovemaking. His eyes closed with the beautiful memories of their first time as husband and wife, the ship lurched bringing him back to the reality before him. Suddenly back into the present moment, the breeze stirred his senses awake. He sighed contently eagerly awaiting for the ship to dock so he could descend down the plank to the life waiting for him on the shore in America, his new life with his family.

The hot summer sun shone down on him as he began to walk down the plank stairs towards the dock where the crowd gathered waiting patiently for their passengers. As he walked down he searched out the crowd looking for any familiar face. He was not sure if anyone would be greeting him but he was anxious to get back to Anna and their son. As the crowd began to thin he watched some families as they rushed up to their loved ones to greet them. Edmund walked quickly picking up his pace searching the crowd making his way just as he heard a small familiar voice "Papa, Papa!" Turning toward that voice, he saw the vision of his dreams smiling and waiting for him, his Anna, his wife, looking absolutely stunning in a pale green floral dress with a matching bonnet. She stood there holding an excited Orion's hand as he jumped up and down trying to get his father's attention. Edmund's heart melted seeing both of them beaming from ear to ear at him as they walked towards him. He thought she was truly a vision walking towards him looking so much more fit and healtier than she did on the day they tearfully said goodbye a few months before as he left for Scotland. He could feel his heart pounding excitedly as they got closer to him. He found himself breaking out into an almost run himself toward his family as little Orion broke away from his mother's grip happily running toward him bouncing into Edmund's arms with such force it almost knocked his father back. Laughing at the boy's enthusiasm, Edmund smiled broadly as tears filled his eyes all whilst he peppered the boy’s face with kisses. Soon Anna was before him arms stretched out as Edmund pulled her into his embrace with Orion. Kissing her gently on the cheek, he hugged them both tightly thanking God for this moment. Anna pulled away as Edmund readjusted Orion in his arms saying “Let us go home my love. We have much to catch up on.” Edmund smiled, squeezing her hand saying “yes a lifetime my love, a lifetime.”


End file.
